Be My Thief

Don't Tell

Mariana looks over my shoulder. She turns me around and hugs me.

"Everything's gonna be okay, Callie. Everything's gonna be fine."

I try to hold my tears back, but I can't

"I don't know what I'm going to do," I say, still crying.

Mariana lets me go and looks at me. "Who's the father?"

I look away. I can't tell her Brandon, our "brother," is the father of the life growing inside me.

I try to come up with an excuse not to tell her. "I want to make sure I'm really pregnant first."

Mariana nods. "Are you going to tell moms? They can help you Callie."

I want to, but they would also ask who the father was and I can't take that chance. I don't want to tell them until I'm absolutely sure. "I don't want to tell them quite yet," I tell her. And it is the truth, but I don't know if she believes it.

"Callie."

"Don't tell anyone," I command.

She shakes her head. "You can't ask me to keep this secret."

"But I am Mariana," I pause for a moment. "Please, don't say anything."

It took some convincing, but she finally agreed to it.

Before we go out, I take the test and hide it in my pocket, trying to make sure that no one sees it.

***

I lay down on my bed, arms by my side at first. I then, put them on my stomach. Is this really happening? Am I really pregnant?

"Knock, knock," Lena says, knocking slightly on the door. "You feeling better?"

"Much," I say and smile. "Do you need any help with dinner?"

"'Sure, why don't you come and set the table." As she is leaving, she turns around and says, "You too Mariana."

***

"Dinner was great, mama," Jude says, taking his last bite.

"Thank you, baby. I'm glad you liked it."

I look around the table and then my eyes land on Brandon. He turns his head, so I do too. Then the nausea hit me again.

"Callie, you okay? You look a little pale," Stef asks.

I take a deep breath and say, "I'm not sure. Can I be excused?"

Stef looks at Lena who is already nodding. I wipe my mouth on the napkin and smile. "Thank you for dinner. It was wonderful."

***

I lay down on my bed and take out my computer. I start searching on pregnancies and babies, and the things that come up scare me a little. I have always wanted to be a mother. But, not at 17. Not with my adoptive brother, even though he might be the love of my life.

"Nausea over?" Mariana comes in the room and asks, snapping me out of my thoughts and baby search.

"Yeah."

She closes the door behind her and comes and sits down on the edge of my bed. "Callie."

"Mariana."

"Callie, I'm serious. You have to tell moms."

I shake my head. "No, I already told you. Not until I'm sure I'm pregnant."

"Isn't the test proof enough?"

"No. False positives happen all the time."

Mariana sighs. I know she's disappointed, but it's not her decision. It's mine.

"Mariana. It's not your decision. It's mine. And I'm not ready. I just found out and I'm not ready, okay?"

I can tell that she got angry, but to be honest, I don't care. It is my decision, not hers.

"Are you mad at me now?" I ask her, even though I know the answer.

"No, no. I'm just... I don't know," she says. "It's your decision and I have to respect that."

I smile. "Thank you for understanding."

***

I try to imagine how it will be when I tell Brandon, and Lena and Stef. But in my head, it all goes terribly. Lena and Stef throws me out. Brandon wants nothing to do with me and the baby. I know that Lena and Stef and Brandon would never do that, but it's the only way I can imagine it going. I know Mariana is going to keep my secret, but for how long? She wants me to tell them, and I want to, I'm just not ready. What if it was a false positive? They happen all the time. I know, I know, telling Stef and Lena means that they can help me, but I don't know.

***

I still haven't made up my mind about weather or not I should tell Stef, Lena, and Brandon. But, I know I'm doing the right thing.

I start sweating like crazy when I reached the door. I wait... and finally I knock.

"Come in," a voice says from the other side of the door.

I open the door softly, trying not to make a sound. I go inside and close it behind me.

"Everything okay love?" Stef asks, taking off her glasses.

I shake my head and lay down between them.

"What's wrong?" Lena asks. She pulls up her hair and then ties it off.

"I-I'm... I'm pregnant."

To be continued...