King of the Wilderwest

Roman Negotiations

Hiccup woke up in a very good mood. Camicazi and Ingrid had already gone down to breakfast, so Hiccup got dressed, put on his crown, and strapped on his sword. As he sauntered down to breakfast, Hiccup sang a tune he had learned years ago.

"Watch me, great Destroyer, as I settle down for lunch. Killer whales are tasty, and they've got a lot of crunch!"

As Hiccup walked through the dining hall doors, Queen Camicazi asked him, "what are you singing?" Hiccup grinned. "Oh, nothing dear, just the supper song of the Green Death." Camicazi's eyes popped. "Well, that's not weird at all! You're singing the death song of your ancestor's dragon, that nearly ate you and you killed!" Hiccup shrugged. "What? It's catchy!"

With that, the little family sat down to breakfast. "Daddy? Can I stay with you while you work?" Asked Ingrid excitedly. Ingrid was Hiccup's heir. Even if he had a son, Hiccup would keep Ingrid as his heir, because Ingrid was clever and dedicated. She wanted to be Queen one day, and Hiccup believed she would be a great queen. Besides, she had grown up around her father speaking Dragonese and she was a natural.

"Sure, sweetie. I think we're having another nation visit for negotiations today. I know you like meeting foreign people." Ingrid cheered and ran upstairs to get dressed.

Camicazi smiled at her daughter's enthusiasm. "Hiccup, I feel sort of sick. I'm going to see Old Wrinkly about medicine. Dear, do try not to turn our daughter into a politician! Bye!" Camicazi said all this in her rapid fire and whisked out the door. Ingrid bounced back into the room wearing a pretty red skirt with a purple blouse. The hem of the skirt and the sleeves of the blouse were embroidered little pink flowers. Camicazi had made Ingrid's clothes. She had a shocking eye for needlework.

Hiccup took his daughter's hand and walked off to the throne room. Hiccup sat on his throne, and Ingrid sat in her little chair right beside him, back straight, looking quite dignified for a two year old. Hiccup thought she got that from his mother Vallhallarama.

One of the smaller side doors opened and Fishlegs came in. Fishlegs was one of Hiccup's advisors and the head bard. Fishlegs looked urgent. "Hiccup, the nation is the-" he was abruptly cut off my the door opening and one of Hiccup's soldiers announcing, "Presenting to King Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third, a delegation of Romans!"

Hiccup's eyes popped and he leaned forward in alarm as he spotted a familiar figure. It was the fat consul! The hugely fat man stood stock still in astonishment. "Y-y-you! You! You're the King of the Wilderwest?! You, the skinny boy I kidnapped a few years ago?!"

Hiccup managed a smile. "Well, I am the incarnation of Thor, right?" The fat consul turned beet red. "You are a little liar! You have no honor! You- aaagh!" As soon as he insulted Hiccup's honor, Hiccup jumped up and put his sword at the fat consul's throat. "You are very, very lucky there is a seven year old in the room!"

Just then, Camicazi burst into the room. "Hiccup! Great news! I'm- YOU! You lily- livered underhanded fat blubbery Jupiter-worshipper! Why I oughtta slit you from your gizzards to your toes!" Cami, I've got this. Could you take Ingrid to my mother and father? If father knew that the Roman who had me kidnapped was here, he'd be furious. Make sure they all stay out of the throne room. Fishlegs and I can do this. After all, Cami, it's his shield that helped me become the King of the Wilderwest." Camicazi huffed, but picked Ingrid up and stalked out of the room.

"Let's get this done like the halfway civilized men we are, all right? Trust me, you don't want to be here when my father finds out about you."

With that they negotiated a cease fire extremely quickly and tersely. Neither wanted to be anywhere near each other.

"Ok, now get out of my kingdom!" Normally Hiccup was patient, but he hated the Roman. He distinctly remembered being put in an arena with Sharkworms and how the fat consul liked to eat nanodragons in honey.

The Roman delegation strode out of the room. Once they were gone, Hiccup slumped down in his throne. "Oh Thor, I hope they never come back. I really don't like Romans!" Camicazi walked into the room. "Hiccup, are you all right?" "Yes, Camicazi, I'm fine. Oh, how are you feeling? Are you sick?" Camicazi smiled slyly. "No, I'm not sick. I've got very, very good news." Hiccup raised an eyebrow. Camicazi leaned forward and whispered, "I'm pregnant."

Hiccup jumped up and threw his fists in the air. "Yes! I'm gonna be a dad again!" Camicazi grinned at her husband's excitement. "Oh, go tell everyone. My mother, you, and Fishlegs are now the only ones that know." Hiccup jumped up and ran off to announce the news to the world.

Fishlegs shook his head. "Oh Thor. I hope the new baby won't have Hiccup's craziness."

Camicazi grinned widely. "Would you rather it have mine?"

Fishlegs flinched. "No, that would be worse!