King of the Wilderwest

Treacherous Foes

Hiccup grabbed Ingrid and ran out of his room. Screeching came from the door that he hurriedly closed. "Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third! I oughtta kill you! I said I wanted oysters AND cabbage, not oysters WITH cabbage!" Ingrid looked very worried. "Daddy, is Mummy really gonna kill you?"

Hiccup smiled worriedly. "No, your Mummy's just feeling a bit sick and grumpy. Although you never really can tell with your mother."

"I HEARD THAT!" Came Camicazi's voice. "Dear, I thought you LIKED being senseless and violent." A shriek of outrage came from the bedroom. "You lily-livered half-troll rat eating piece of dragon muck!" Hiccup blanched. Wrong thing to say. "Ingrid, let's give Mummy awhile to calm down."

---

Hiccup collapsed in his throne with a groan. He had been all over the island, from the stables to the highest castle turret for the seasonal inspection. Good thing he only had to do that twice a year, during Winter and Devastating Winter. There was no way he could handle another crisis today. On top of that, Camicazi was nearly six months pregnant, demanding, and violent. Hiccup was terrified of going into his own room. Maybe he could find an excuse to leave for a few months...

Just then, Fishlegs, Stoick, and Valhallarama ran into the room. They all looked panicked. "What's wrong? Is it Cami? Is it Ingrid? Is it-" Fishlegs interrupted him. "No, it's you. You'll never believe this! Alvin the Treacherous was spotted on Berk! Is that crazy or what?! Y'know, I can wait for our usual mid-battle debate with you disadvantaged somehow, Alvin bragging, and me feeling helpless!"

Hiccup had gone pale as snow. "Alert the castle! Get Old Wrinkly's prediction! Saddle the dragons! I've got to tell Cami-" this time, Stoick interrupted Hiccup. "Now, son, don't you think you're overreacting?" Hiccup glowered. "I'm not overreacting. Alvin has escaped from other inescapable situations, this would be just another Houdini act. I've got to tell Camicazi! Hey, Fishlegs, d'you think you could get Humongously Hotshot here? He and Tantrum would make great bardiguards for Camicazi and Ingrid. They need to be protected at all times, Alvin would love to hurt my family. And for Thor's sake, where's my dragons?"

---

The King sprinted down the hallways of Castle Tomorrow, Windwalker and the Wodensfang trailing behind him, Toothless perched on his right shoulder. Hiccup was heading to the castle nursery, where Ingrid was being watched by his mother-in-law, Bertha. Hiccup was irrationally terrified that Alvin had hurt Ingrid while he had been at work. Alvin, Alvin, Alvin! How could he have been so stupid?! Of course he escaped! Alvin always escaped! Would he ever be rid of Alvin the Treacherous? At least the Witch Excellinor was dead. Hiccup had seen her body, thank Thor.

Hiccup burst into the nursery, much to Bertha and Ingrid's surprise. "What's wrong, Your Highness?" Asked Bertha. "Alvin's alive. He was spotted on Berk. I'm taking Ingrid to Camicazi, so we can watch her. I'm a bit paranoid at the moment. Humongously Hotshot, Tantrum, and their son are coming here to help defend the castle. Come on Ingrid." Ingrid hopped up and gave a cheery wave to Grandma Bertha. Hiccup and Camicazi hadn't told their daughter exactly how her father had become King of the Wilderwest. It wasn't exactly a good story for a seven-and-a-half-year-old, as Ingrid put it. Ingrid didn't quite have her mother's sass and talent for name-calling, but she could make her opinions known and didn't take kindly to being called a little girl.

Anyway, Ingrid was oblivious to how truly terrifying Alvin was. Hiccup intended to keep it that way. "Daddy, who's Alvin?" Hiccup mustered a tiny smile and ushered her out of the nursery. "Oh, he and I just had a little... disagreement, is all."

---

"THAT SON OF A WITCH AND A ROMAN IS BACK?!" Hiccup flinched. "Cami, Ingrid's here! Language! Anyway, I sent a message to all of our allies and Humungously Hotshot the Hero's coming! It'll all be fine!" Camicazi scowled. "Well, as I recall, Humungous nearly KILLED YOU once! He's a bumbling idiot, and Tantrum's even worse!" Hiccup sighed in exasperation. "Oh, come on Camicazi!"

They were interrupted by Ingrid asking, "Uncle Humungous tried to kill you, Daddy?" Hiccup sent a glare at Cami. "See what you did Camicazi? Anyway Ingrid, Uncle Humungous did try to kill me, but he decided not to do it. He was tricked by an old enemy of mine into thinking Nana Val was a traitor, and he was going to kill me for revenge. He realized that your Nana Val wasn't a traitor, and I shouldn't be killed. Then we became great friends. I even helped him and Aunt Tantrum get married!"

Ingrid's mouth formed a small O. "So Uncle Humungous won't hurt you?" Hiccup grinned. "Nah, Humungous is a great guy! Besides, your mother and Aunt Tantrum can hang out and you can play with their son! Cami, I've got to check on Fishlegs, see how he's taking it. Can you watch Ingrid?" Cami nodded, for once not saying anything, only imagining how Fishlegs must feel.

---

It took nearly forty five minutes to find Fishlegs. Hiccup found him on the roof of the turret Fishlegs lived in. Hiccup didn't say anything, just sat quietly next to Fishlegs. "Why, Hiccup? Why now? I-I don't know whether to be happy or disappointed. Whatever I feel, I'm on your side. He may be my blood father, but you're practically my older brother, and you raised me. Like you said, he's evil, and he likes it. I'm so happy I took after my mother!"

Hiccup put his hand on his best friend's shoulder gently. "I know, Fishlegs. I regard you as a brother too. I'm worried about you, though. What if Alvin tries to kill you? He is a murderous barbarian. You are my second in command, and you're his son. Could you stay with Camicazi and Ingrid, for your own protection? Please? Plus, your Deadly Shadow dragon would be a great guard."

Fishlegs hesitated, but agreed. Hiccup smiled as he left, reassured that his best friend, wife, and child were safe.

---

Alvin watched the exchange from a stolen Stealth Dragon. Oh, Hiccup. They knew each other so well! However, in all of Hiccup's planning, he forgot to protect one thing.

Himself.

A/N: I need help! First of all, I'm drawing a blank on a name. I need a name for Humungous and Tantrum's kid! If you have any suggestions, please comment them! It needs to be something heroic, but slightly stupid and cliche, like his parent's names! Thanks!