messages ▹matthew daddario

nineteen ; illness

          "Can I tell you something?" Hunter asked. She had her bottom lip between her teeth and her eyes couldn't keep in one place. Matthew was sat at the couch in her house next to her, his arms around her body which was sitting criss cross. They were both in sweatshirts as it was the morning and he actually did sleep over. Ridiculousness was on the TV and they both had fought over what to watch. Hunter won.

          Matthew looked from the show to Hunter who was now playing with her hands and looked more scrunched up than before. He shifted from his slumped down form to more of an upright form and brought Hunter closer. "You can tell me anything, kitten."

          "Well," she gulped, "it's about my anger. It's stupid, but I don't know if you will think of me the same." Hunter's voice was rough yet soft as all the water from her body seemed to leave her and it was replaced with lava. She hated when she told people about him and why she was like this. He made her go crazy and he made her get this illness that she hated.

          "What about it?" Matthew asked.

Hunter finally looked at him and struggled with words, her mouth open the whole time. She didn't know how to explain it to Matthew and how it would change things between them. So many people walked out on the girl because of it and she didn't want Matthew to be the same. "When I was 15, I didn't know I had I.E.D. My dad had I.E.D. like me and he had outbursts every few months. He got mad at me for accidentally dropping one of his prized trophies and had an outbursts at me."

"And I apparently did something wrong and had an outburst on him at the same time which only made him more crazy. Then he tried to kill me," Hunter chuckled. "Before I met you, I was with a guy, Max. I had outbursts every few months, I still do, and he would just let me be and leave it, but one time he got pissed at me too and hit me."

"I mean, I wasn't as heartbroken as most people would be. I hit him back. Then tried to kill him like my dad did," Hunter sighed. She didn't want to tell him about how she was just like her father and how this was all his fault. Hunter wanted to be with Matthew, but to get somewhere, you have to tell the truth. "He didn't call the cops on me. Max only told me that he never wanted to see me again and I haven't seen him since. I just don't want the same thing to happen between you and me."

Matthew was stiffer than cardboard and his leg was shaking faster than the ground would at an earthquake. Hunter could kill him one day and he didn't want to die at all. Sure, he liked her for telling the truth, but he couldn't be with someone that would kill him. "Hunter, I can't be here."

Hunter sat up, her legs now on the floor and elbows balancing on her knees. "Please, don't go. It's how everyone left me and I just want someone to stay, Matt. Please," she begged, her voice shaky and thick. She already felt the familiar burn in her eyes and could tell that this wouldn't end well.

"Hunter, I don't think you realize how unsafe this is for me or you. When was the last time you had an outburst?" he asked.

"Four months ago, but you can't just go like everyone else did! You aren't everyone else, Matthew," she urged. Hunter was now standing in front of him while his leg and head shook at the same time.

"Maybe I am everyone else, Hunter. I'm sorry, but I can't be with someone who almost killed their boyfriend. I don't want us to end up so bad that we try to kill each other, Hunter. I love you, but I think I should go," he insisted. He loved her, but Matthew felt like he couldn't be with someone that might try and kill him. He wanted to so bad, but he couldn't help the feeling it gave him. Matthew had stood up and grabbed his keys and moved towards the door.

Hunter scoffed, "So one thing that I have trouble telling people scares you off? How long will you be gone?"

          Matthew smiled sadly at her and opened her door, "I'm sorry. I just don't know when I can talk to you again."

Then he left leaving Hunter to look at the door helplessly. It has happened so many times before, but Matthew leaving actually made her feel something. The hole in her heart was bigger than it was before because of him.

-

man matthew didn't have to leave like that. i am disappointed in him. like wow. I actually didn't want to make this happen, but Hunter's illness is something that keeps her from relationships so i had to write something around it.

have a great day!!!
jade