Heartbreak Girl (Ashton Irwin)

Chapter 13

After what seemed like the longest day ever filled with empty kisses and meaningless hugs to the one that I so called loved, the day was over. Even worse, I had to come face to face to Ashton.

And here I was, sitting criss cross on his bed while he paced around the room. He better make this fast, Marcus was talking me out tonight.

Every time he would open his mouth, stop in his tracks, and look directly at me as if he were going to talk, he would swallow up his words and continue his pace. I, too, was still trying to create the words to say. I couldn't think of anything, but right now nothing I could say could too the awkward silence we shared.

"Ashton, I-" I paused, taking a deep breath, "this isn't working"

He stopped and looked at me dead seriously, "and you don't think I know that?" He snapped, but I could understand why he's upset.

"Well then lets try to fix this!" I exclaimed, running my fingers through my hair.

"I'm trying, don't you understand? I know what I said was a mistake, and I'm sorry. You shouldn't have to suffer for my mistakes" he said shyly.

I sighed, nodding slightly. "I know, and I appreciate your efforts, it's just not working. Something has to give" I explained, staring at him intently.

"I know it's not working. I wish I could make this work, but I don't think this can" he said, slightly annoyed.

"We can to make this work!" I exclaimed, jumping onto my feet. I stood directly in front of him, crossing my arms.

"How?! Huh? How do you expect this-" he said, taking a moment to wave his hands between the two of us, "work?"

"I don't know," I growled, "all I know is that we can make it work."

"That's the point! What if we can't make this work?" He spat, almost yelling at me.

"No, the question is, what if you don't want this to get better?" I replied, pushing him in the chest as he got too close. He held back his anger, shutting his eyes.

"I didn't say that," he mumbled, "I just don't know what we're going to do"

"And you think completely ignoring me would help?" I said softly, taking a deep breath. He looked at me with those eyes, the eyes that I couldn't stay mad at. That face, the one I felt myself dreaming about. His presence, the one I found refuge to, and I knew I couldn't be mad anymore.

"You don't know what it's like to be like me, to love someone who doesn't love me back." His voice was almost a complete whisper, and the pang of guilt that hit me felt like someone slicing a knife through my heart.

"I don't, but I'm sure as hell ending this friendship wouldn't make things better" I mumbled, but I myself wasn't too sure.

"It's hard, okay? I'm trying, almost trying to fucking hard. I'm trying too hard, and it seems like you aren't at all" he grumbled.

"Me? Not trying? Do you know how many nights I lost sleep thinking about you and thinking about what I could do to save this? What I could do to please the one that I love and you at the same time? Well it isn't fucking easy Ashton, don't start with me. Sometimes I wish I could just forget this all happened" I said angrily.

"Then lets just take a break. From us. I need one, I can't take looking at you for another second" he said, scratching the back of his neck.

"You think that will solve things?" I said, almost laughing from his ridiculousness. I grabbed all of my stuff, making sure I didn't forget anything as I looked back at him. "Then take all the time you need, jackass" I said, pushing his chest before walking out of the room.


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Oh my goodness that was short, but I felt terrible that you guys haven't gotten an update in forever!

I'll be on vacation until Wednesday starting from Sunday, so I'll try my best to update on the 4 hour trip.

I love you my little lemon drops, stay safe and love one another.