Heartbreak Girl (Ashton Irwin)

Chapter 18

The next morning, my eyes seemed to be glued together. The mixture of my salty old tears and sleep made an unusual adhesive. I rubbed them gingerly, sighing loudly when I finally opened my eyes.

I was back in my room, tucked perfectly under the blanket. My head throbbed and I immediately regretted waking up, my throat burning and sore.

I squirmed out from under the sheets, clearing my throat and attempting to talk, but all that came out was a squeak; my voice cracked in the middle. Yep, definitely lost it. I noticed a note on top of my phone, a white piece of blue lined paper folded neatly into a rectangle with the words 'Ellie' scribed across the top. I unfolded the paper slowly, shifting my weight from one foot to the other as I began to read.

'El,

Meet me at the park at 12, we need to talk.

Ash'

Those words scared me a lot. We need to talk. What about? We did a whole lot of talking, rather screaming, yesterday night. Haven't we talked enough?

I picked up my phone and pressed the home button, seeing a picture of Amanda and I as the screen lit up. Mental note: call her later. I haven't talked to her in awhile.

I checked the time to see 10:47. I had enough time to at least take a shower and do my makeup to cover my swollen face, the result of crying so much. Maybe take a few cough drops for my voice.

I walked to the top drawer of my dresser, picking out my undergarments and reaching in the back of my drawer for the bag of lemon cough drops. I had to keep my own stash here because John had a habit of eating cough drops like candy.

I popped one in my mouth, grabbing my towel from the hook on the back of my door and going towards the bathroom. I made a quick stop by Emma's room, smiling as I saw her asleep and leaving a root beer lollipop for her next to her bed. I knew she loved them.

Before I entered the shower, I looked at myself quickly. My mascara was smudged on the outer corners of my eyes and my foundation was off, probably caked onto my pillow. My hair was strangely knotless, the slowly blending blonde tips perfectly straight. Weird.

I hopped into the shower and did my usual routine: shave, face, shampoo, rinse, conditioner, soap, rinse. I made my shower quick to take extra time on my makeup, making a mental note to look striking as ever. A sign to Ashton that he doesn't have so much control over my life as he thinks he does. I'm strong. Push me and I push back harder.

I dried myself and put on my bra and panties, walking towards my room with my towel wrapped around me firmly. When I got into my room, I changed into a pair of jeans, converse, and a light sweatshirt. Simple, but enough to kill with the eyes.

I dried my hair and straightened it, making sure it was perfect before I started on makeup. I covered all of my imperfections, then added a layer of liquid foundations, and a layer of powder foundation to add the matte effect. I added a line of eyeliner, making sure to cover my waterline in black color before adding a tail at the end. Mascara and a light shade of red lipstick accented the look well, along with the coloring of my light eyebrows. All in all, I looked good. Enough to show that I could easily pick myself up, and act like nothing happened. And that's just what I was going for.


-


When I reached the park, I only had to scan the whole area once before finding him on a small bench overlooking a pond. I took a deep breath before walking towards Ashton, keeping composure and making sure all of my tears were under lock and key. No need for them today.

When I sat on the other end of the bench, I gathered his attention. I smiled at him, an almost smirk as I saw him in shock. Either from my unusual composure, or my striking appearance. Not to be conceded, but it was a good look on me. One that I rarely used. Only on special occasions, an example: revenge.

Ah, sweet, sweet revenge, how much I've missed you.

"Hey" he said softly, straightening up his spine and turning towards me. The red ring around his pupils reassured me that he had been crying. Lucky for me, I've learned a few tricks to conceal that.

"Hey, how are you?" I asked, a hint of a smug expression etching my features. He almost seemed taken aback at my question, but regained composure and smiled. His smile, unlike most others, radiated.

"I've been well, though I did earn a scold from my parents today because of last night" he laughed, his arm bent over the back of the bench. "And yourself?"

"Quite alright, but I did skip breakfast today" I shrugged, picking at my chipped nail polish.

"Shame, I could take you out, if you want?" He asked, and it seemed like everything from last night... Never happened. It did, I know it did, but it wasn't as awkward as I assumed it would be. I mean, I confessed my love for him not even 24 hours before, but that's seems to almost be forgotten. Odd.

"Sounds great, where to?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"I know a place" he smiled, but he didn't get up. "But we both know that's not why we're here" here we go.

"I'm not the one who needed to talk, go on. Spill" I said and faced the water, kicking my legs slowly.

"Look El, we just can't keep going on like nothing ever happened" he said, and I knew it was true. I just wished that it could.

"I know" I mumbled, going back to picking at my nails.

"This is serious, it really is... You have me completely confused. I would just... Like to know what this is. What we are. How you feel, because right now, my mind is spinning with different questions" he said, starting to twirl one of his curls under his hoodie, blushing slightly.

"Ash, all I know is that you slept with some stranger. A complete stranger, and that bothers me. Yeah I love you, I can't stop loving you, but it's just... Icky. To know that you touched another girl with those hands is nasty." I said, scrunching up my nose in disgust. "You confused me too. If you really were as truly and as in love with me as you said, then you wouldn't have slept with that other girl." I said, crushing a flake of blue polish in between my fingers.

"I know" he said, defeated by my answer, "but you know it was a mistake. You know the real me, and the real me wouldn't do that" he said, grabbing my hand.

"Prove it. Prove that you love me." I said, bravely looking at him.

"Just hear me out," he said, taking a deep breath. "If I kiss you right now, and you don't feel anything, nothing at all, then we weren't meant to be. You wouldn't have to talk to me ever again, just let me do this." He begged, and I nodded slowly.

His head leaned in, eyes closing slowly. I felt my breath hitch I'm my throat, knowing what would come next. It scared me a lot, but the second his lips touched mine... All of my worries vanished.

And I would be lying of I said I didn't feel anything.



-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-

As I promised, an update. Hello!

Well, this story has 11.6k reads, and I can't express how thankful for each and every one of you. I have to admit I get scared every time I update, because I don't know if you guys would like it, but the positive feedback I always get is so surreal :)

I love you all so much, you are the absolute best. I wish I could meet you all and personally thank you, but I can't.

Please, if you have any suggestions, or any ideas, don't hesitate to inbox me!

Also, I wanted to start dedications. So, if you have a story you want me to promote, or even if you leave a nice comment, I'll dedicate the next chapter to you :)

And don't worry, the story isn't over. Far from it! I have some tricks up my sleeve :)

I love you all, thank you