Heartbreak Girl (Ashton Irwin)

Chapter 16

Ashton's POV



I know I shouldn't have, but I did.

I did, and I feel more terrible with every second I think about it. The thought consumes me alive as I look over to the usual empty space next to me. It's filled with a brunette, makeup covered girl with a bit of dribble on the side of her face.

My surroundings were unfamiliar to me; the full sized mirror, the walk in closet, the dresser adorned with different necklaces and earrings... This wasn't my room.

Endless clips and snippets of the pervious nights' wrongdoings play on repeat in my mind, jumbling together and mixing with the insults I have for myself. I can't think straight, my head is thumping and the fact that I'm still laying in the same bed as this stranger, naked, makes my skin crawl.

I'm disgusting.

I looked over at the girl next to me, her smeared makeup and pained expression causing her worry lines to show broadly. It's like as if she knew what I would be doing, leaving her without a remembrance of something simple like her name. Never in a million years would I have pictured myself doing this, I promised myself, I promised my mum that I wouldn't be sucked into the crowd and do these things to a girl.

I couldn't recall the night before, all I remember was sneaking into a bar and getting drunk out of my mind. Like any other story, I ended up in bed with a girl. From there, my mind went blank. I did these things with this girl, I broke my own self respect with myself. I had sex with her, and I had no intentions of calling her again.

She stirred in her sleep, and only by the grace of god did she not wake up while I forced my jeans back on. I felt horrible, seeing her so vulnerable like this.

I don't know what I was thinking, I've never touched alcohol in my life, and look where it took me.

I had to get out now.

Luckily, it was only about 2:30 in the morning, so my escape was well covered. After getting fully dressed, I dashed down the stairs of her house and ran outside.

My car was no where in sight, so the only option would be to walk home. It would help if I knew where I was. The street sign read 'Magnolia', but it didn't seem to ring a bell. Maybe if I wasn't still recuperating from what I assumed was my hangover, it would make more sense where I was.

Remembering I had my phone in my pocket, I dug it out and searched 'Magnolia Road, Australia', and sure enough, it showed. I was only about 3 miles from home, so it wasn't much of a walk that I would have to take. But it was long enough to leave me in my own thoughts and feel more dirty with every second.

I walked the cement path to the front of neighborhood, distracting myself with the map to keep me from getting lost in my own mind. But it was the inevitable, and once I didn't need my map anymore, the thoughts flooded in.

I wish I knew why I had slept with this girl, but I couldn't think of anything. Maybe it was my heartbreak, maybe I thought that drowning myself I'm alcohol and shacking up with the next girl I saw would ease my mind off of it. In a way, it did. I haven't thought about Ellie since yesterday, I haven't thought about kissing her and hugging her like I was her boyfriend. It made the nausea, the dirty feelings, the cruel thoughts I had towards myself and the hangover almost worth it. It was worth it, actually.

I knew I shouldn't start with this addiction, but it felt good. It felt good to let go, and I kept reminding myself it was only temporary, until the day I let go of Ellie completely. It seemed like a good plan to me. Drinking = no Ellie. Of course I would have to limit my intoxication level, I don't need to be sleeping with every girl in Australia, but it's once I find the right consumption level, it'll be my own safe haven.

My mum had to be worried sick by know. What was I supposed to do when I get home? My mouth still reeked of alcohol, and the eagerness that the girl had to get in my pants stretched out the neckline of my shirt. My belt was tattered from her trying to get my pants off fast, and the button was pulled too hard to the point of breaking. Needless to say, it was evident what I've been doing the whole night.

I picked up my pace, running fast to my house, but not fast enough to look like a criminal. I laughed at my thoughts, enjoying the smile on my face.

Soon, I arrived at my home and I could see the light in the living room on. The shadows of my mother pacing back and forth with my father trying to ease her down made my heart break. I felt even more terrible that I made my mother wait.

I entered the house quickly, seeing my mother and fathers face immediately fill with relief. They both came forward, but my mothers face twisted with anger after the initial relief of seeing my alive wore off.

"Ashton Fletcher Irwin, I cannot believe that you decided to show up so late" she said, pointing her finger with her voice slightly raised.

"Do you know what time it is? 4 in the morning, Ashton. 4 in the morning! Do you understand how worried sick your father and I were?" My mothers voice raised even louder, my dad shaking his head disappointedly at me.

"Do you recall your curfew, Ashton? 12. Do you know why we made that a rule?" I couldn't help but shake my head.

"We made the rule so that we don't have to run around like chickens with their head cut off trying to find you. We even called poor Ellie who was worried sick about you." And just as I was about to speak, a rather sleepy, red eyed, tear stained Ellie emerged in only her PJ's. The sight of me immediately woke her up, a mixture of relief and anger filling her face.

She ran towards her, attacking me in a tight hug once she was close enough.

"Ashton" she said, digging her face in my chest as my mother and father frustratedly made their way up the stairs, frowning. I was going to get an earful tomorrow for sure.

"Where the hell were you?" She hissed, slapping the side of my arm and looking up at me.

"I was, I was uh- I was... Out." I stuttered, looking back at her. My stuttering reassured her, letting her know that I wasn't telling her the whole story.

Her face twisted in disgust when she sniffed the air, obviously smelling alcohol. She inspected me over, pulling at my collar and staring at my wrinkled pants. Realization hit her like a bus.

"Y-you... You slept with someone, didnt you?" She accused, her jaw clenching.

"It was an accident, I swear! I was drunk and I couldn't think straight" I explained, running my finger through my hair. She pulled me outside, closing the door behind me. She mumbled something about not wanting to cause a scene in the house to wake my siblings, pulling me down to my sidewalk.

"What the hell were you thinking? How could you just go get drunk and sleep with a girl, Ashton? Do you know how worried we all were?" She whisper-shouted, shoving my shoulders back. She was beyond mad, and I could see the hint of tears in the corner of her eyes. What?

"Why do you even care? Go with your fucking boyfriend, Ellie. You have nothing to worry about, you can't tell me what to do anyway. Who do you think you are, thinking you can just show up after weeks without talking and worry about me like you didn't diss me and leave our friendship for your stupid boyfriend?" I yelled, not caring if anyone heard me.

"Who do I think I am?" She paused to laugh dryly, "I think I'm your best friend that deserves an answer. It looks like you haven't changed a bit since the last I saw you, you fucking jerk. Of course I'm going to worry about you! How could you say you're in love with me and then sleep with another girl?" She said, tears starting to spill. I felt my heart break even more than it was already.

"It's none of your business. You didn't love me back, and I moved on." Lies. "This isn't your place to tell me what I can and can't do, Ellie. You can't expect me to love you forever. Why do you even care?" I growled, stepping closer to her. She shook her head, wiping furiously at her tears.

"Why do I care?" She repeated, stepping away from me. "Because maybe my 'stupid boyfriend' broke up with. Maybe I realized what all I ever wanted was right in front of me. Maybe I couldn't stand to think of the possibilities that you could've been dead when your mom called me." She cried, and I immediately wanted to hug her.

"Maybe I love you. Maybe all of those things are true"


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Hello my little lemon drops. New chapter for you, yay! I was wanted to thank every one of you, and I'm so grateful for all of these reads! I have a special place in my heart for those who vote and comment every chapter, you guys are awesome.

I'm sorry if you didn't like the chapter, I liked it and it's my story so if you don't like it, don't read it.

I'm privileged to not have any negative comments, and I want to keep it that way. Please, if you have any negative comments, send it directly to me and not my story. Though I'll always accept constructive criticism, 'you suck' or anything along those lines isn't constructive.

As I said before, it hasn't happened, but I'm preparing for the future in case this story does get more popular.

Loads of love!

Stay safe and always eat your vegetable kids.

P.S. Who's excited for 'Midnight Memories'?