Trapped

two

after first hour, i meet up with alex and walk to the art room.
"so, how's today?" he asks
"okay" i respond
"for real" alex prods
"well, i still feel trapped i want to be a boy. i hate being me. i want to die. im a fat, ugly, worthless piece of shit!" i yell
"oh" he says
"you know what, i can't fucking do this today, im skipping. come with?" i ask
"yeah, why not?" he answers

we walk to my car and i start it and pull out of the school. at a red light, i light a cigarette.
"you're gonna fucking kill yourself Caleb." he says
"good" i respond
"you know, i wish you would stop being a fucking dick and take care of yourself for once." he tells me

i exhale the smoke from my mouth and turn to look him in the eye.

"fuck me." i say

the light turns green and i speed away to Phandom Point, a cliff overlooking a river. once parked, i climb out and hike into the woods to find a place that isn't fenced off. alex follows.

"why are we here?" alex asks

i reach the tree line about thirty feet from the cliff edge.

"what would happen if i jumped?" i said, looking him in the eye

alex steps forward.
"caleb don't" he warns me

"why, im just trapped and want to be set free?" i look towards the water and look toward alex again.
"sorry" i say and sprint towards the edge.

alex sprints after me and grabs the back of my shirt. we fall towards the ground and he just holds me in his arms. i start to cry.

i feel trapped in his arms and for once it feels good to be trapped