OKAY SO I'M BACK FROM SWIM TEAM AND I HAVE A STORY TO TELL
GATHER ROUND LITTLE CHILDREN
ANYWAY MY COACH WAS BEING REALLY BORING AND I HAD A HAMMERING NAIL IN MY POCKET SO I ETCHED "I EAT ASS" INTO A CHOCOLATE COIN AND GAVE IT TO SOME DUDE WHO WON'T GET A BOWL CUT DESPITE MY PLEADING AND HE THOUGHT I WAS HITTING ON HIM SO HE TOLD ME HE HAD A GIRLFRIEND AND IT TOOK EVERYTHING IN ME NOT TO SAY "I'LL EAT YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S ASS, TOO" BUT WHAT I DID SAY WAS "I'M HERE, I'M QUEER, AND I'LL SEE YOU NEXT YEAR" SO I'LL ENCOUNTER HIM NEXT NOVEMBER TO SEE HOW MY LEGACY HELD UP
