Growing up as Transgender in Upstate New York (MtF)

A place to call home

       After 2 years liveing in a motel room Tracy tells me about her park and how there is a traler for sale. One day after work I drive over to look at the place I mean its not the best looking one in the world but its in my price rang to buy out right. After meeting with the owner of the trailer and that owner of the park i buy the place. Tracy lets me and the family stay with her untell the guy moves out of my new home. So far this whole time I have not been able to wear girls cloths and feel like my self in fact I was very un happy working 12 hours a day to come home and sleep just to do it all over agine. AFter 1 month of staying at tracys The guy finally moved out and I start to move in. After Im all moved in tracy and I hang out alot more even tho me dressing as a gilr has stoped we still talk about makeup and stuff.

       This gose on for Two years in that time krystal and I keep fighting more and more tracy has moved into a bigger house and has stoped talking to me becouse of krystal. I left my job at the printing company Becouse krystal said it well get us closer togeather. Oh it brought us closer alright one day we got into a huge fight "I want to be a girl full time now and gets boobs and grow my hair out and also get sexy tattoos" I screamed at her. Its been 4-5 years sence I last brought that up "well you drop wanting to be a girl u are a guy and if u ever think about doing that with getting boobs and stuff like that we are done I married a guy not a chick" ANd she then storms off out side to get away from me.

        A couple weeks go by and we calm down from the fight I get a job at a local department store working over night so I can pay the bills. I have thought alot about mine and krystals last fight and I started to stay at my moms house claming it easer for me to get to work. While at work I meet Nicole She was the one girl that every guy wanted but she wouldnt give them the time of day. One day she over hear me talking to a coworker about haveing to walk to wokr in the rain the following day. All of a suddon she asks where i was coming from and I told her and it just so happened to be on her way in and offred me a ride. I told her sure and gave her the address and then we had to get back to work. After work we said bye and I walked to my moms house so i could rest up. As i was resting krystal shows up with the kids saying they missed me and wanted to see me so I spent soem time  with the kids and had fun when it started to get late I told her to take them home and get them in bed  and I huged the girls and told them I loved them as they got in the car and left. The next day sure enough Nicole showed up to get me even tho it wasnt raining and we saw we had enough time so we went to dennys and had some coffiee before work. Well this went one for a while and we started to get closer to each other. I went home one day to see the kids just to find out Krystal was sleeping with a guy right in my bed while the kids destroyes my house. I kicked the guy out and we got into the bigiest fight we have ever had and I told her I wish I was single agine and that I just couldnt take it anymore and then I left the house and walked all the way back to my moms. The next day nicole brought my to get devorse papers and helped me fill them out and then I got my cousin to serve Krystal. The next day she was gone she grabed all her stuff and the dog and moved out to her bf house and left me everything. The next month nicole and I got togeather and she came over and helped me clean the house up.Before I knew it Nicole and I where liveing togeather in my house and of course I got ahold of tracy right away and told her the good news of krystal leaving and of the new one. A couple weeks later tracy shows up to meet nicole and get to know her better and the same with my sister asking us over for parties and spend time with us.

      A year after Nichole we bring up the subject of me wanting to be a girl and I waited for her to say something mean about it but no she helped me find a doctor to talk to and get the right help I needed she even took me out to dinner dressed up all nice and girly. By the time it came to meeting the doctor Nicole helped me out of my shell a little bit and when we went to see the doc I told her everything from when I frist knew to hideing dressing up and everything but Eric. "well you are what we call transgender. and that where you are born one way(male but you are more cumfy and feel better as the oppisit gender( female). The doctor explans it to me and then gose on telling me its normal to feel this way.