May The God Have Mercy

A beautiful day

23 years later

"So tell me, Annabelle, how do you feel?" Mrs. Parkens looks at her with curious and ready to listen eyes.

"I feel fine, doc" she smiles. "Perfectly fine."

"Have you been having nightmares lately?"

Annabelle sighs and looks out the window at the blue sky, bored. The same questions every time she met her psychologist were getting more and more frustrating.

"The sky is beautiful today. I haven't seen such a beautiful blue color in a long time. I feel like it will be a great day today."

Mrs. Parkens studies her patients face and then looks away for a second, to write something down in her old notebook.

"I assume that you have" She says. "It seemed that it was getting better, but something triggered your memory and old feelings. Do you have any idea who or what was it?"

"No" Annabelle shakes her head "You know, I've been writing a new book about two brothers trying to figure out who killed their father. Got any ideas where I can get a perfect picture of a murderer in my head?" She smiles.

Mrs. Parkens ignores Annabelle's words and continues trying to keep the consultation going.

"Have you been talking to some of your friends from high school, or did you read something similar in a book or in the Internet?"

"It's so nice to know, that little things make you very happy." Annabelle carries on, still looking out of the window, but through the corner of her eye she can see her psychologist getting slightly annoyed. "Like a bar of chocolate,  or your favorite song, or seeing an old couple being cute together, or even the perfect shade of blue in the sky. Amazing, isn't it? I feel somewhat optimistic looking at it."

"Okay" Mr. Parkens gives in "Let's talk about the sky. Why does it make you happy?"

"I don't know" she shrugs "maybe because the sky can sometimes be very dark and cloudy and sometimes - very innocent and beautiful, like today. I guess you can say it gives me hope."

"Hope for what?"

"Just.... hope".

Annabelle turns her head so she could fully see her psychiatrist that was staring at her.
They first met 12 years ago, when Annabelle was still 16 and Mrs. Parkens was in her early 30. Even though this wasn't the first psychiatrist that she met, but by far the best. Annabelle didn't know what caught her eye in this woman, was it perhaps her young look? Strong personality? The smile, that was always on her face? She had no idea. But they got along very well. Annabelle found out a lot about her husband and kids and Mrs. Parkens found out a lot about her past. They became like friends, and Annabelle's illness wasn't the only thing they could talk about.
But as the years went by, a tragic incident happened. Mrs. Parkens husband and kids died in a car crash. That was a huge blow to her. After that, they didn't meet for a week, and when they did, Mrs. Parkens wasn't the same as before. Her long black hair started to turn white, young eyes grew tired and the lovely smile faded away. Instead of a happy person, now was a broken and tired one, fighting each day to survive.
And perhaps this incident opened Annabelle's eyes a little bit. It was tragic, yes, but she couldn't help but be amazed how quickly everything changed, how life easily made a happy person kneel before it. One day everything was okay, and the other - not anymore.
But Mrs. Parkens fought with herself everyday, drank her medicine and tried her best to get back on her feet and enjoy life once again. She tried really hard not live in the past, but even now, after 8 years, she still dreams of her husband and her little kids, laughing. And each morning she wakes up crying, tired, thinking that today will be the day that she will end her life.  But she keeps on living, keeps on helping other people with similar circumstances,  keeps on holding on to life. And Annabelle admired her, because if that wasn't inspiring, she didn't know what was.

"You are very happy today. Why?"

"Diana contacted me" Annabelle smirks "she's coming to visit me this weekend".

"Diana, a friend from high school?" Mrs. Parkens writes something down.

"Yes. It's been so long since I last seen her. I missed her so much".

"That's good to hear. Maybe seeing an old friend will help you progress in your healing process".

Annabelle chuckles and looks at her doctor with a glimpse of irony in her smile.

"I'm perfectly fine, doc, I already told you. I don't understand what am I doing here".

"And what about Mimi? Do you still see her?"

Annabelle's eyes flashes to the corner of the room, where a little girl in a dark blue dress, holding a white teddy bear stands and observes them. She shakes her head.

"Nope" she replies "I haven't seen her in a long time. The last time I told her to get lost, she started crying and ran off. Haven't seen her since then".

"Okay then" Mrs. Parkens leans in her chair, slightly tired. "Today our consultation is over. I'll see you next week at the same time?"

"Good bye" Annabelle winks at her "Leave work a little early today and walk around. It will make you feel better. Have a nice day".

And she finally closes the door, something that she wished to do since she came here. These consultations were getting more and more boring, especially because Annabelle has given up on becoming better a long time ago. She knew, that what happened when she was five will forever hold a huge wound, and even time won't be able to heal it. Because some wounds never heal.
Annabelle sighs in relief and smiles a little bit.

"Today will be a great day" she whispers and walks away.

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A.N.: I tried my best! ( * u * )