May The God Have Mercy

A trip in to the past

Annabelle has been staring at a computer screen for two days now. She didn't sleep, she didn't eat or take her medicine, she barely got up to go to the bathroom. Right now, she had only one goal: to write a great book and publish it. So for two whole days, she did nothing, but stare in to the screen and write. The world around her has disappeared, people and problems didn't exist. It was always like that whenever she got a new story in her head. Sometimes, she wouldn't go out for weeks, sleeping only every 2-3 days and sometimes drinking some water. She would leave her world only when she could feel her disease getting ahold of her. Just like she did now.

- You're doing it again, - Annabelle heard a child's voice.

- Shut up, - she whispers, not even bothering to look who it is. She perfectly knew that voice.

- Don't you know it's bad for your health? You've been staring at that stupid computer screen for too long.

- Mind your own business, - Annabelle replies.

- Fun fact, I don't know if you understand this, but your mind is going crazy right now. You're talking to me, aren't you? Don't you know who I am?

- If you don't like something, then get out.

- I don't exist. I'm in your head.

- SHUT UP, - she shouts and throws a cup at the wall, where just a minute ago a little girl stood.

- Would you look at this, she got mad, - Mimi laughs, already sitting on Annabelle's bed. – Well, at least you're back to reality.

- Didn't you hear me the last time? I told you to fuck off.

The little girl giggles at Annabelle's reaction and stands up. She snuggles her little teddy bear, that she never leaves and comes closer.

- Aren't you curious at all, why am I here? Why did your mind create me? Why am I a child and not an adult?

Annabelle quickly gets up and goes out of the room to the kitchen. Mimi follows her.

- Aren't you curious why you're the only one who sees me? Why you have to see me? Do you know why?! – she shouts.

- Shut up, - Annabelle says and takes out her medicine. She searches through all the little bottles and tablets, only to find the ones she's been looking for. Not waiting for Mimi to continue, she puts them in her mouth and swallows, the turns around. – Get the fuck out of my head!

- You're just a peace of trash! You're nothing! You don't deserve to live. It was me who should have been born! I should have lived, not you. You killed our parents!

- Shut up you brat! You never existed! – she goes back to her room and hides under the covers of her bed. – I was the only child in our family. It's all in my head.

Annabelle shut her eyes and covered her ears, waiting for the moment her sleeping pills will kick in. Mimi sat next to her on the bed and kept saying those awful things, that Annabelle hated to hear.

"You're useless. You don't deserve to live. You deserve to die. Just kill yourself. It will become better to everyone. Diana hates you. Elizabeth hates you. Everyone hates you. You're just an eyesore".

The words she heard slowly became the words that were coming out of her mouth. That voice was now inside her, inside her head, and Annabelle found herself saying everything out loud. Right before the medicine worked and she floated to her dream world.

1994-10-23

Little Anna slowly swayed on the swing and watched other kids play a little further away from her. Finally, after two years at an orphanage, Anna found a new family, that loved her and took care of her. She still hasn't recovered from what happened two years ago, but a new home was a great start.

Also, this year, Anna started going to school. But it wasn't as fun as she pictured it to be. The kids avoided her, called her a freak and didn't want to play with her. So she spent her days alone, separated from others. In order not to be sad, Anna had to create her own world, where she had friends and was happy. The days in her world were always sunny, it never rained, and it was always summer. She was surrounded by kids, and they spent their days playing hide and seek or tag. It was better for her there, than in the real world. Though she only visited that place, whenever she was at school. At home, Anna played with her older brother Liam and always laughed. Only at home did she feel the most safe and comfortable, because here, no one called her a freak.

But today was different. While Anna was swinging on the swings, a little girl, with long black hair, brown eyes and a beautiful dark blue dress approached her. She held out her white teddy bear to Anna and smiled.

- Do you want to play with me? – she said.

Anna looked at her for a second.

- Don't you think I'm a freak?

- No, - the little girl shook her head.

- But those kids there say that I'm not allowed to play with anyone, because my parents aren't real.

- I don't like those kids. Come on, let's play! – she started jumping up and down.

- Okay, - Anna nodded.

- What's your name? – the little girl giggled.

- Anna. And what's your name?

- Mimi.

2000-02-04

- Mimi, is it really okay for you to come with me? What will your parents say?

She shook her head so hard, her blue dress also moved.

- My parents hate me. They would be glad to know I'm gone.

- Well okay then, get in. Mom, - Annabelle looks at her mother, coming out of her house with boxes in her hands.

- Yes, honey? What is it? – she looks at her daughter and smiles.

- Can Mimi come with us?

- Yes, of course she can! – she nods, chuckling. Her daughter was already 13 years old, yet her only friend was an imaginary one. Her husband, Matt, always said, that they need to take her to the hospital, because it's not normal, but she always thought of that only as a cute thing.

- Okay! Mimi, get in, - she shoves her friend inside the car. – You'll sit in the middle. Liam often gets dizzy, so he needs to sit next to a window and I like to look at people.

- Okay, - Mimi nods.

Annabelle never really thought why was it that no one else could see this cute little girl but her. Maybe it was because she was too small? Or maybe she had superpowers and was always invisible, but Annabelle was special and she could see right through her power? That seemed like the best explanation. For now.

- Are you still talking to that imaginary friend of yours? – Liam frowns and closes the door.

- She's not imaginary! She's real.

- If she's real, why can't I see her?

- Because you're not special. She has an invisibility superpower and I'm the only one who can see through it.

- You're a freak.

- I'm not a freak! – Annabelle shouts and hits her brother. – You're the one who's not normal!

- Liam, that's not how you talk to your sister. Annabelle, apologize to your brother.

- He started it first! – she pokes Liam.

- Annabelle, - her mother looks at her with a serious look on her face and Annabelle sighs.

- I'm sorry I called you not normal.

- And I don't want to hear these things again, - she says firmly, and turns to look out the window, searching for her husband to come out with the last boxes.

- Freak, - Liam whispers.