Monday. The alarm (otherwise known as my mother) blared and woke me up. Unfortunately like many other alarms, mine did not have a snooze button, since she had insomnia. I woke up, dragged myself to the bathroom, braided my hair, had a shower and went downstairs. The time was 7:30. After grabbing some toast, I hurried to the bus stop, only to discover that it was late. Eventually, I climbed onto it and raced to school.
I made my way to my locker, ignoring stared from others. My anxiety kicked in, so I gave a small wave to one of my friends sitting at the bench. Ila walked over and came with me to my locker, merrily chattering away as I organised my books for the day. I was listening to her animated chatter about Disney princesses and songs when something caught my eye. Mia. She was walking confidently to our normal hangout place. I balled my fist up and wanted to cry. If only I wasn't so nice to her when she was lonely. Though she used to be popular, she was unlike all of them, or so we both thought. So I offered her a place with my friends, only to have her walk in there like she owned the place and invite me in. INVITE. ME. IN. IM THE ONE WHOS SUPPOSED TO INVITE HER IN,
'...So that's why Jasmine is the better princess,' Ila said. I just nodded my head and giggled.
'I totally agree Ila, Jasmine is the best!' I said.
Sometimes I was nice, that was the issue. Being nice to Ila wasn't what made me a bad person, but trusting Mia and Jay was. I had two choices now. Either, go and walk in the shadows of Mia and be with my friends, or stay with Ila and not be worried. I chose the latter, I looped my arm through Ila's and let her guide me through her ranking of the Disney princesses.
I arrived to class ten minutes early and just leaned against the door. Our school had a no phones policy and so I couldn't even pretend to be remotely busy by staring at an empty screen. I took in what Ila said. Jasmine was the best princess because, she knew what she wanted. Jasmine didn't want to live in an empty shadow upholding values or following her father's life, but instead wanted to be happy. That's how I was restricting myself. I wanted to do the right thing, to be there for Jay, but it didn't matter because this was my life. Just then Helen and her gang came to class. She was new to the school last year, but had her own group of friends already. It was weird. She was nice but had weird obsessions. And for some reason, her height (she was short) intimidated me. She could do whatever she liked, being small and skinny and there I was long and lanky.
We all walked into class in silence. The class was very segregated but the atmosphere was loud. It was hard to explain. Lazy boys sat in the back row and stared at the whiteboard chewing their gum in a rhythmic pattern, gossiping girls, in the second last row giggling every ten seconds and dishing out new gossip every five seconds. Helen's group engulfed the second row and the nerds sat up the front. I had to sit at the front. Once I did sit with Helen's group but, they just gave each other looks and gossiped. I got it, my codename was pencil, I wasn't stupid like they thought, so I just resorted to sitting with the nerds. The nerd row itself had a hierarchy. The smartest nerds in the middle (so the loud ones), popular nerds alternated between the back and the front, the friendly nerds stemmed out from the middle and the quiet ones sat on the edge. I wasn't even a nerd, so I had my corner seat in that row. I was just accepted as a part of the row. The nerds were friendly though. They were my friends in the class. We cracked jokes and told stories but when it came to solving problems, I stuck to myself. Though I was a scholarship student, Maths wasn't exactly my strong point so I tended to sit by myself and work out the problems until I got stuck on a tough one and then I just retired for the class.
Michaela used to tell me that the nerds did like me, but after a lot of broken trust, it was hard for me to accept that someone would actually enjoy my company. English class was more forgiving as I could easily drown out my sorrows in poetry. Eventually after six more periods, the day ended and I made my way to the bus stop. I wasn't going to go to the hospital today and I bravely made my way back home. I didn't know what to do, so I just powered through my homework and read. School was horrible and my friends were the only ones I looked forward too but I guess we weren't blessings in disguise because, I was the curse that was breaking them apart.
Sorry guys, I know this chapter was awful, but I wanted u guys to know why alia hated school. I did t write too much about Michaela so I will later, but please leave feedback:)
Thanks sooooo much
