Man Overboard

16. Do You Want to Come to a Party?

(A/N: this chapter is dedicated to afern217 because she gave up social media (including Wattpad) for Lent and I would never have the strength to do that.)

Tom slept with me that night, and every night following. Not only did it make me feel safe, but it also alleviated my guilt about taking his bed away from him while he slept on the couch. Sometimes my nightmares would still wake me up in the middle of the night, but Tom would whisper in my ear consolingly until I fell back asleep.

I had hoped the dreams would have gone away after a few days, but it was almost three weeks after the surgery and I was still having the same nightmare. Sometimes the dreams were different, but they all resulted in the little girl dying and it was always me that caused her death.

The only thing that made them better was Tom at my side throughout the night. But now I was going to have to make it through a weekend without him. Mark, Scott, and Tom were leaving Friday morning for Los Angeles where they would record a new album.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?" Tom asked one last time. Mark's and Tom's suitcases were packed, waiting by the front door while the guys said their goodbyes to me.

Tom had asked the same question repeatedly throughout the last week. His face held the same expression of concern that I had grown accustomed to seeing recently.

"I'll be fine," I insisted. "It's not like I'll be completely alone; Anne's close by."

Tom smiled half-heartedly, not fully believing me. I rolled my eyes jokingly.

"I'll be fine," I repeated, trying to hide my own uncertainty about the truthfulness of my statement. I knew being away from Tom for three days would be hard, but I didn't want him not to go just because of me.

"If you're sure," Tom said, eyeing me carefully.

"Yes!" I laughed, trying to make his doubt seem outlandish. In reality, Tom had every reason to hesitate about leaving. He knew firsthand what I went through every night, and about how I used to deal with my emotions. After moving in, however, I had tried to kick my bad habit of cutting, an accomplishment I mainly owed to Tom since he was there for me when I craved the feeling of my blade. But I wasn't planning on succumbing to my old desires in the brief period he would be gone.

"You go and have fun making your first real record," I said, gently pushing Tom towards the door.

"Okay," Tom chuckled. His smile seemed more genuine now at the mention of blink's music. "But promise you'll call me whenever you need me."

"I promise."

Tom seemed to relax at the two words. His smile became softer, now filled with sadness. He held his arms out for a hug and I took a step forward to embrace him. I felt at ease when Tom's arms wrapped around me. I closed my eyes, trying to imprint this memory in the front of my mind.

When I pulled away, Tom's smile had completely faded and sorrow gleamed in his eyes. I knew he would be gone for only a few days, but seeing him so upset about leaving made my heart ache.

"Bye, Willow," Tom murmured.

"I'll see you Sunday night, okay?" I replied. Tom nodded and smiled feebly.

"Hopefully sooner," he replied.

"We can't make an album in a day, Thomas," Mark interrupted from his position by the front door. Tom, whose back was turned to Mark, rolled his eyes.