Man Overboard

19. You and I Should Get Away for Awhile

                 

(A/N: Longer than usual, but this was supposed to happen like four chapters ago, so I was like, screw it.)

The following weeks passed in a blur of dread and anticipation. I was looking forward to Thanksgiving; I hadn't really celebrated it in years. It seemed like after Mom had died, my dad and I had found it hard to be thankful. We just treated the holiday like any other day, eating frozen dinners while Dad watched football on the TV.

            I had grown up hating Thanksgiving. It was a day designated for appreciating all the good things in your life, but all I could see in mine was unnecessary suffering. Which was why I didn't think I would live to see another Thanksgiving. But now I was kind of glad that I would.

            Life had gotten so much better once Tom had stepped into it. I had friends, I was away from my abusive father, the torment at school had decreased thanks to Anne, and I felt loved. I could finally find things to be grateful for. I just hoped I wouldn't screw it all up. I was so nervous that I felt like my stomach was tied into permanent knots throughout the month of November.

            "Is everything okay?" Anne asked after school one day, a week before Thanksgiving break. "You've been acting kind of anxious lately."

            "Oh," I said, turning towards her with surprise that she had noticed. "Yeah, I'm alright."

            Anne nodded, looking unconvinced, but she didn't argue. We continued walking down the hallway to get to the school parking lot, when she spoke up again. "So, I've been thinking," she said slowly, making the knots in my stomach tighten. "If you want to, you could come spend Thanksgiving at my house. If you didn't want to be at the apartment alone, I mean."

            I breathed with relief, glad she wasn't telling me she didn't want to hang out together anymore. "Thanks, but I'm actually going with Tom to visit his family for the holiday," I told her.

            Anne's face dropped, but she attempted to cover it with a smile. "Oh, that'll be fun. Why didn't you tell me?" she asked. I felt a pang of guilt at the hurt tone in her voice.

            "I'm sorry," I apologized. "I didn't realize you would want to know."

            "You don't have to tell me things if you don't want to," Anne said quickly. "It's just that...we're friends. You can tell me anything."

            I nodded, taken aback by her declaration. I knew I could trust Anne, I thought that had been obvious given that I told her about my pregnancy and the abortion that followed it. It just hadn't occurred to me to tell her about my vacation plans. I wasn't used to having friends in my life that wanted to know things like that.

            Anne smiled, satisfied with my response. "So you and Tom are getting pretty close then, huh?" she smirked. I blushed at her implication, even though there wasn't anything going on between Tom and me.

            "We are close, just not like that," I corrected. Anne hummed in disagreement.

            "How come?" she asked. "He's kind of cute, don't you think?"

            I was sure my cheeks got even redder as I felt more blood rush to them. "I don't know," I answered honestly. "I've never really thought about him like that."

            Tom had only ever been a friend to me, and I've only ever seen him as such. But now, thanks to Anne, I was picturing Tom's characteristics in a new light: his protectiveness over me, how he was always sweet and gentle with me, his willingness to do anything to make me feel better, how safe I felt in his arms. Even his dumb haircut that was neither really brown nor blond was suddenly kind of cute.