Man Overboard

25. Life's Temporary like New Year's Resolutions

                 

Once Christmas had ended, winter break became a blur of work and concerts. The holiday season was doing wonders for blink's performance schedule; they were playing nearly twice a week throughout December. I went to as many as I could at the start of the month, and then when school ended I went to all of them, no longer needing to spend my nights studying.

            By now I knew almost all the words to their songs, though sometimes Mark and Tom would change the lyrics when they performed to throw me off. Whenever they were on stage, it was the happiest I had ever seen the boys. I didn't know if the increase in shows had anything to do with getting signed to Cargo Records, but I did know that getting signed had definitely changed their lives, something that became apparent to me one night after getting home from one of blink's concerts.

            "Look, mistletoe," Tom smiled, pointing up at the small plant hanging from the archway of the hallway to our bedroom. He pulled me to him and placed a soft kiss on my lips.

            "Do you guys have to do that every time you go into the hallway?" Mark groaned. He didn't bother to look back at us as he disappeared into his room. Despite how much Mark teased Tom and me, it still managed to make me blush.

            "Maybe he's right," I murmured, slightly pulling away from Tom. "Christmas is over."

            Tom hummed thoughtfully. "But the rules of mistletoe apply as long as it's still hanging," he disputed. "And it'll probably be hanging until the new year given how lazy we all are."

            "You would literally just have to reach up and pull it down," I laughed.

            "Hey, just because I'm tall doesn't mean I'm not lazy," Tom joked. I rolled my eyes at him but couldn't hide my smile. "Speaking of the new year," Tom continued, swaying slightly as he held me in his arms. "The band got invited to a New Year's Eve party an executive at Cargo Records is throwing."

            "Oh." I lowered my gaze disappointedly. It was the first time in awhile that I had been looking forward to ushering in the new year and I was a little sad I wouldn't be able to do it with the person I cared the most about. But this was a good opportunity for blink to network and I wasn't going to take that away from them for my own selfish reasons.

            "Don't look so sad," Tom chuckled lightly. His fingers tilted my chin upwards, forcing me to look at him. "You don't have to go if you don't want to."

            "You want me to go with you?" I asked, perking up.

            "Well, yeah," Tom laughed, looking confused as to why I had thought otherwise. "I thought that was a given. You are my girlfriend."

            I smiled at the word. But even though the label solidified our relationship, and Tom proved how much he cared about me each and every day, I couldn't help but feel insecure. Thanks to my low self-esteem and anxiety, part of me still doubted that Tom liked me, yet alone wanted to take me to parties with him. I just felt paranoid that he could leave any second, and I hated it.

            "I would love to go," I replied. I pushed aside my fear of large social settings in favor of wanting to spend New Year's Eve with Tom. From the grin on Tom's face it was clear that he wanted to spend it with me too.

            Luckily for me, Mark had invited Anne to attend the party as his plus one so I wouldn't be completely dependent on Tom throughout the evening. Mark jokingly complained about having to bring his sister as his date, but I could tell he was sick of being alone, especially now that his two roommates were dating. He had told me the story of how his last girlfriend had forced him to choose between her and blink, making it hard for him to get back out into the field. I hoped that one day he would find the girl of his dreams, but right now I was glad that Anne would be by my side, even if it meant going shopping with her.