Kainak the Awesome

Chapter 7

George of the Jungle looked pretty darn good in Armani.

Kainak of the Jungle didn't have Armani. He couldn't afford it. He had Calvin Klein. And that got him worrying about money. He didn't have any job skills that would translate to the modern world. Except maybe wood-carving. But as Julie pointed out, no one gives a flying fuck about artistic talents in this day and age. Hell, even working at a furniture factory was going to be tough.

This is why he doesn't belong in civilization. The stress of just thinking about it was getting to him. How well he could deal with the constant, chronic pain of real-world stress was unimaginable. Okay, he did have one part-time job The Peg, but he was only three months into the job when he took that trip that got him here.

And the worst part about this was the fact that for the first time in years, he had to WEAR CLOTHES.

Kyle wore clothes in The Peg. Societal expectations and Canada's notorious winters necessitated this fact. The heat, humidity, and freedom from those societal expectations, meant that he hadn't worn anything except a series of Tarzan loincloths for years, only breaking that every now and again to be fitted for clothes. This was about to change, and Kainak of the Jungle knew that Kyle Nicholson, born in Winnipeg, would have to return. And once he was finished, he'd always tear those full body handcuffs off, but only figuratively, because those clothes cost Julie a pretty penny.

He stared at the closet of these clothes, wondering which ones he was going to pick. He already knew to wear something light in both color and fabric due to the heat and humidity. Picking the right one out was going to be difficult. There were a few light-colored shirts he could wear, but the dark-colored khakis were a different story. But since Julie had already called for a car, he didn't have to worry much about walking in the jungle.

So, he picked out a light blue, button-up shirt and a pair of dark khakis. He walked over to the mirror to get a look at himself. As soon as he covered up his jungle appearance, he felt several emotions, the most prominent of which were nervousness and embarrassment. Oh spirits, do I really look that stupid? he thought about his loincloth.

But he kept it on. To be fair, it was a clean loincloth. Even though they didn't have much in the way of laundry, they still had to clean some smelly garments.

He pulled the khakis on first. Then a plain white t-shirt, followed by the light-blue dress shirt. He instinctively buttoned up his shirt, something he'd practiced as a kid. It was as natural to him as hunting. Then he rolled up his sleeves. He checked the mirror again. The outfit was form-fitting and reminded him of how slim he was. To be fair, he already knew that. But being 170 lbs wasn't noticeable in just a loincloth.

Kainak was not here. Kyle was back.

Of course, he recognized that he'd probably have to get a haircut, which he sighed and resigned himself to. But he also didn't hate it. Long jungle hair was hard to take care of. When he first met Julie, his hair was long and wild (even Manti commented on it), and she forced him to get a haircut. He liked it. To be fair, he was looking forward to this part. He hadn't had a haircut since then.

"Kyle!" Julie called upon entering their bedroom. She dressed like she hadn't left civilization. She wore a light blue sleeveless blouse and a knee-length skirt. "You look really handsome."

"Thanks," he said hesitantly.

"Don't worry, we won't get it cut too short," she said. "We'll probably just go for the Luke Skywalker look."

"That's a relief," he said.

"By the way, you're not going barefoot." She pointed down at his still-bare feet. He groaned, cringed and sighed. She walked over to the dressed and pulled out a pair of cotton socks. She also got a pair of shoes for him. "I'm sorry, Ky," she said. "You have to wear these."