The Survival Games

Chapter 8

  I still can't believe that Furry is now dead. I was paralyzed, unable to react to what I just did. I was the one that killed him. Everyone else was in shock, too. But I had multiple waves of regret washing over me, coming again and again. I feel like dropping to my knees and crying until everything in me left my eyes. I can't believe that I killed him, I can't believe that I just ruined everything.

  We watch as Furry's corpse is lifted off of the ground and into the sky. He's lifted up, it's as if he could touch the heavens.... If he were still alive.

  Tears start filling the brims of my eyes as Furry flies off. I didn't know him well, but I still felt like I knew him. So seeing him fly to the heavens, protected from all of the bad that could've happened here on Earth, made me start to get emotional. A tear slips down my cheek and then they all start pouring down. I look down to hide the fact that I'm crying. Because I killed one of the people that I loved, that Julio knew. I felt like I did something horrible. Something that can't be forgiven. And it was picking, tearing at my heart. I was slowly fading away from the bad I had done.

  I ventured off from the group for a while, needing something to take my mind off of Furry's death. I take in deep breaths, but all that did was make me cry more than before. I never felt so horrible in my life. I didn't think blood thirst and insanity would lead me to killing someone who hasn't even done anything wrong.

  Julio found me inside of the Bat Cave again. "What's wrong?" He asks me. When I look into his bluish-green eyes, all I can feel is more pain, and more regret. I start crying again, and I wasn't sure if I was able to live with myself anymore.

  "I... I killed Furry." I say. "I don't know why you're talking normally to me."

  He sits down next to me. I can't help but cry again. He pulls me into his arms and I can't do anything but hug him back. "I-" I faintly whisper, "I'm so sorry." I start to cry again, not worrying about my tears staining his shirt. He doesn't let me go or try to stop me. It wasn't that I minded, but I didn't want to make him feel... Uncomfortable.

  "It's ok, don't worry about it." He wraps me in his arms, and my body starts to tremble. Why is this happening? I ask myself.

  "Julio, why aren't you mad at me?" I say, not making eye contact with him.

  "It had to be done eventually." Julio pulls me in closer. Hot tears sting my cheeks as he talks to me. "Don't cry."

  "I.. I can't Julio! After what I did! Killing Furry, letting the insanity and blood thirst get to my head I just-"

  He leans in and kisses me by surprise.. Again. All of my worries and troubles instantly faded away. And for a moment, I swear, I felt like I could fly. While Julio and I were in the Bat Cave alone, the lyrics played over and over again in my head:

  Every time we touch, I get this feeling.

  And every time we kiss, I swear I could fly.

  Can't you hear my heart beat fast?

  I want this to last.

  Need you by my side..

  Julio was the person who could pick me up whenever I fell down. And he always knew how to put a smile on my face, no matter what the reason was. Maybe because he had the best humor. Or maybe he had mentioned something that I had known about for a while. No matter what it was, I was always smiling while watching his videos. He lit up my day. He's the one that makes me happy even during my darkest hours.

  Every time we touch, I feel the static.

  And every time we kiss, I reach for the sky.

  Can't you hear my heart beat slow?

  I can't let you go.

  Want you in my life.

  Tears are still slipping down my cheeks the moment we let go. I'm pulled into another hug, and even though I'm still in so much pain, I finally had the strength to smile.

  "Are you feeling any better?" he asks me.

  "Yeah, I am actually." I couldn't stop smiling, and I probably looked like an idiot when he saw me smiling, which made him smile, too. "I don't know why I'm smiling. This is not the time to be smiling." I laugh at the fact that I just said that. Okay, maybe I need to get some more sleep..

  "It's all right, at least I can see that beautiful smile of yours." He nudges me in the shoulder. I start to blush, then I smile and turn away.

  "Stop it! You're embarrassing me!" I jokingly punch him, still smiling.

  "Hey, wanna hear my pick-up line?" Julio smiles at me.

  I turn to look at him, "You have a pick-up line?" I laugh at the thought of that.

  "Stop it!" He nudges me again, "But really, do you want to hear it?"

  "Sure," I reply to him.

  "Ok, here it goes." He takes in a deep breath and is about to say it, but then we both break out into laughter. "You're distracting me!"

  "I'm sorry!" I finally calm down after laughing for a while, "Okay, go ahead."

  "All right." He clears his throat, "Are you from the Nether? Because you're hot."

  I don't know why, but for such a cheesy Minecraft pick-up line, it made me laugh and blush like crazy. Was it because he was telling me this? Or was it because I was being called "hot" for the first time in— well for the first time at all? Maybe it was both. I couldn't be completely sure, but all I knew is that I was blushing at his cheesy pick-up line, and he was watching me freak out over it. "Wow, thanks for making me embarrass myself." I look at him shyly. He smiles at me and I can't help but smile, too.

  "But what about Furry? I don't think I'll ever forgive myself or live past the guilt. He was your friend and he was in your videos from the very beginning. I feel like I've torn everything apart." I sigh.

  "Don't worry about Furry. The last thing we need is for anyone to have any regrets when the point is to kill people. Okay?" His deep voice calms me.

"Okay, Julio," I quietly reply to him. We stay in the Bat Cave, alone in the dead silence. Everything inside of it was full of shadows and terrors, but the aura Julio gave off lit up the cave, making me feel safer, and that our surroundings weren't as scary as they're supposed to be. I heard something, or someone, whistling the melody to Safe and Sound. They were far away, so they couldn't see us. But we could still hear them whistling the tune.

  Whenever I heard the song, I always remembered when Katniss tried to comfort Rue as she was departing from this world. Rue had been speared through the stomach, and Katniss had shot Marvel to make him drown in his own blood. When Katniss sung to Rue as she was leaving, I started to tear up. And that's what I felt like doing. Crying at the fact that Furry is gone, and never coming back. All because of what I did.

  The pain and regret was never going to leave me. I knew that for a fact. But I didn't want to drag my depression around with me for the rest of my life. So I decided to let go. To forget all of my mistakes, my faults, everything I ever did wrong in this world. I finally felt free. Free from people's judgement. Free from criticism. Free from all of the troubles that have brought me down. And for a moment, I felt like I could truly fly. That I could soar and touch the sky. I could finally be the one person that I wanted to be for all of my life.

  I could finally be me.