Pick Up The Pieces

Insecurity

Biting my nails has always been a nasty habit of mine. The problem is that I only bite them when I'm stressed. That could be the reason that I'm hiding in the closet. 

Shit. 

I don't want to do this.

I blame the alcohol consumption. I'm seventeen and I shouldn't even be drinking, but there was no way that I was going chicken out in front of the collection of people that I call friends. They're a good bunch, but Genma's something different altogether. He's crazy, and I love it, but throwing a party this large in such a small place was asking for trouble. A shatter from the other side indicated that yet another bottle had smashed under trampling feet of dancing and gyrating bodies. Why the hell did he think it was a good idea to throw me a huge birthday party? I don't know even know most of these people. I'm not a ladies man like Iz and Genma. I'm not unattractive. Let's just say that I'm insecure, and playing Seven Minutes in Heaven is not helping.

'There you are.' A cool voice called out into musty closet I was just beginning to find sanctuary in. I knew that voice all too well. Unsurprising, since I'd had an...infatuation with Hana Inuzuka for a long time. She was usually the reason I scampered away to the men's room for a "piss", yet that was nowhere near what I was doing. That was also one of my nasty habits.

'Happy birthday, Kotetsu.' She said, her voice making my heart pump faster. I'd read enough silly little stories to know where this was going. Was she going to want me to live up to expectations? Yep. Pretty certain.

'Heh, thanks.' I stammered lightly, wanting to melt into the collection of cloaks and jackets behind me. I'd been dreaming of a chance with her like this for a long time but it didn't stop my nerves from crashing around in my stomach. She was wearing a skimpy little top and skirt ensemble and smelt distinctively of strawberries. It was so different to what she normally wore that it caught me off-guard a little. She looked very...girly for once.

'So...' She said, inching closer and closer, her hands sliding over my torso and around my neck as she pressed her hips into mine. There was sake on her breath and it made my nose wrinkle lightly.

'Did you want your present?' She whispered into my ear, sending a run of shivers coursing through my body.

My throat seized up and I made a little squeak. It was not classy at all, but I guess she took that as a 'yes' because she started to trail her hands around my back lightly and she push her frame against mine. I could feel a light, warm breath by my jaw and I found myself kissing her pair of cherry-flavoured lips. My back was against a padded pile of coat arms and she had her eyes closed. Mine were not. I won't lie that my head span lightly. After all, I'd been longing for a moment like this for kami knows, but I wasn't enjoying it as much as I thought I should. Maybe if I took it a step further. But I'm inexperienced. I was frigid, shamefully. As far as I was concerned, I was waiting for some kind of "zing" or feeling to run through me, from what I'd read, but the buzzing sensation I had before was subsiding.

Playfully I nipped at her bottom lip and I could feel her smile underneath as she complied. In the blink of an eye, I was exploring her mouth with mine and it was messy. Messy would be giving it a compliment. I have no idea if she was just a naturally bad kisser, or she had consumed much more alcohol than I thought. Either way, this was bad, but she didn't care. Through the chorus of smacking and sharp intakes of breath from the both of us, she picked up my hands with hers fingers; pressing my palms into her chest. I was not enjoying this, but I didn't want to disappoint her, so I played along and groped a little. Well, it got a reaction out of her. She let out a little gasp and started kissing me faster and heavier, and dropped her hand to my crotch, taking her own feel.