Impossible Love

Chapter 13- He called my sister a slut

"Josh?" Where the hell did he go? Wait, is he behind the sofa? What..

"Yeah?" He replies as he uncovered himself from behind the sofa. Why is he behind the sofa... What the hell.

"Why are you behind the sofa?" I need some answers..

"I err, I was, just finding, my err, money.. Yeah, I dropped some.." Well he doesn't sound very convincing..

"You're lying." I might as well just tell him what I think..

He sighs and takes a deep breath.. "That was Alicia right?"

Where's this going.." Yes.."

"Does that mean your sister is Melissa?" He said with his voice sounding a bit shaky.

"Yes.. " But I still don't understand what that has to do with why he his behind the sofa.

He took a deep breath before beginning to talk. " Me and Melissa, had a relationship type thing"

"Type thing..?" Oh wow. Of course. Just when I meet this perfect boy, I find out my sisters already been there. God dammit. I want this, but there's always got to be something to ruin it. It's as if life doesn't want me to enjoy it and be happy.

"We used to mess around.. You know..." His eyes jolt down as if ashamed.. Oh god no. Oh no. He didn't. Oh fuck. I don't need this.

"Right. Well I think you should maybe go?" I need to think. Why didn't Melissa tell me about this?

"It didn't mean anything." He started to panic. Well I think he just called my sister a slut. That's it, he needs to go.

I looked in his eyes. There was remorse and I could tell that it was in the past, but I don't need this now. "Just go?" Without another word, he left. Should I feel this bad? Because I do. But He had sex with my sister. Josh had sex with Melissa..

Wow. It hurts, is it meant to hurt? My heart feels broke, but it can't be, can it? We weren't together or anything.. So it can't be.

My breathing increases and I decide that I need to lay down. What's Melissa gonna say when I tell her? I mean, I should tell her, right? Oh god, I don't know! Why me? Why is it always me?

I love being with josh. I was happy. We almost kissed, do you understand how happy that made me? It felt right. But I can't go there, not now. I want to, don't get me wrong, but if Melissa finds out, then she might get angry at me...

I lay on my bed and close my eyes but all I can picture is that perfect moment when josh is leaning in, just before our lips meet. It would of felt so right. It would have been good. I want it to, I really do, but can I, really? Maybe I should talk to her. Or maybe I should hide it from her. Well first, I have to talk to josh about this and I can tell you now, I don't really want to talk about my sisters sex life.

I just lay on my bed for the rest of the day. My body feels lifeless. I like this feeling. My entire body feels almost numb. Numb from pain, numb from life itself. Why do I like feeling like this? I shouldn't, but I do.