Rated R

➸o n e

It's like running a marathon, and at the finish line you see a girl with blonde hair, and a model body almost there, almost winning your prize. You're begging to win, knowing you need to. Then: she's crossed the line, and you're second. The man at the end is yet to congratulate her— he hugs you first.
And then everything after that is Rated R. And you realize you didn't need to win the first battle to win the war.
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You're forced to choose. You've got the women your dating, the women you love, and then there's the girl your in love with. The girl that really, truly, changes everything. She's the girl at the end of the marathon that came in second, but for you she truly came first.
Your feelings for her are purely Rated R, and she knows it.
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They don't see what the rest of the world sees. They don't see the magic, the connection. Their significant others see it too, but they hope and pray it remain undetermined. We don't know if it's something that's forever, we don't know if it's true love, but we do know it's a connection; a connection never to be severed.
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'A drop in the ocean, a change in the weather💦'
Shailene Woodley's POV:

I sigh, running a hand through my hair. "Veronica," I say, trying to stay calm. "I don't know if I can do it. Bryn says I'm able, but I'm not! I'm not even quite sure what to do! What being healthy means." Veronica laughs on the other end of the line, and I can imagine her smiling. Bleh.
"Shai," she continues to chuckle. "You're the definition of Mother Nature! Honestly, why do they think they're naming it: Shai's Weekly Mother Nature, it just makes sense, Shailene. I know you're capable, and the probability of millions of subscriptions coming in, are through the roof!"

I purse my lips, hating what she's doing. She's being V, and V is the girl that's behind Veronica Roth, who's my bestfriend. And I hate her, because she's doing what's best for me. Veronica is constantly reminding me of who I am, when it used to be other way around. Ever since Insurgent flopped in the Fangirl world, and in many critics eyes, I've felt unneeded and scared all the time, not to mention the continuos family shit I'm currently enduring.

She's been my rock for the past while. Constant phone calls, many sleepovers, and coffee meet ups have strengthened our already strong friendship. I love her to pieces, and I don't know where I currently would be without her.

"V," I sigh. "I don't think I can do it! How am I supposed to have a new magazine published weekly?" The thought of it makes my stomach swirl. If V is right, millions of people will be reading what I write, and if it's rushed or messy, or doesn't meet their expectations: it'll be more downfall on the Woodley name.

It's a huge responsibility, and a huge time trapper. In three weeks I have to film Allegiant, and I don't know how during that six month period, I'll be able to publish twenty-four articles. It's nearly impossible, and very tricky. I don't want to book myself to the last second. On either of the two projects, it will fail if I'm on a unchangeable schedule. I have to have wiggle room, and nights off, hours off.
"Shai," Veronica snaps my thoughts in half with a whining tone.. "I'm here too, you know? I'll help, and during filming, we can cut back the schedule. We can reduce it to monthly! Doesn't that sound like a good plan?"
Nope. I purse my lips, due to multiple flaws within the plan. Just as I'm about to reply, my phone beeps three times, indicating there's a call waiting. I quickly pull away and see 'Theo' pop up in the corner, along with a green waiting button. I bite my lip, and press the phone back to my ear.

"Veronica," I say quickly. "Okay, I will publish an article once a month, until further notice. I'll tell Bryn soon, okay? Okay! Okay! Good!" She tries to speak, but I quickly press the red off button, and see if I can still make the call from Theo. Just as I look, the secondary ringing dies out, and a '1' is sitting in a red circle beside my call button. "Shit," I mutter, and stomp my foot. I go over many profanities in my head, before my thoughts nearly go limp.