Theo's POV:
Horror flashes through me, and I gape at the beautiful girl in front of me.
"Theo," she says and reaches for my limp hand. "P-Please don't tell anyone. Please. It's over, I'm not going to see him again."
Her words are echoed, and my mind is far off, in a happy world where my worn hands create bone cracking movements upon Nahko's face; where Shailene is far away and safe.
He hurt her. He hurt my Shailene.
He caused pain and worry across her perfect features, and for that I will make sure he endures a lifetime of pain . . . However that might be too short.
I furrow my brow.
"Theo," the voice that is on the edge of tears break through my thoughts with a ferociousness that rolls through my body. It's all I have not to pick her up and show her what it's like to be with a real man, to show what it's liked to be cared for.
"Shailene," I gently grab her soft cheeks, and she closes her eyes; this is as far as I can go, and it kills me.
My thumbs instantly try to work away her tears. It seems it will never happen though, because for everyone I wipe away, three more come into play.
My thoughts are not clouded of worry, worry for Ruth.
It's only Shailene and the purple and blue marks over her body.
Not Ruth and the bite marks all over her damn leg.
"I can't," she says suddenly and steps away from me, shattering some part of my heart. "Theodore, this is wrong." I frown at her, and let my arms drop from where they held her soft cheeks. She must sense my need for her, my constant lust. No. No. No.
I haven't been careful, I haven't built my walls high enough. I've showed her that I care too much, and I can't do that. I can't let her into my fucked up life as anything other than a friend. It nearly broke Ruth, and I won't let that happen to Shailene, no matter what my heart desires.
My mind replays on my actions from our previous encounters. I nearly kissed her . . . I yelled at her . . . And somehow in that time I've showed her my care for her, my care that is so strong its foreign.
I have to build my walls higher and higher, I have to push a away everybody that comes too near, no matter how much it hurts me.
The walls need to be built high enough that I'll nearly forget about her. Because in this time, when she mourns her friendship with Nahko, it'd be wrong to push myself closer to her.
I'll have to push her away, and hope that my feelings will fade, and my love for Ruth will become more sure.
It's not the ideal time, I've got six months of filming with Shailene, after I finish being a complete ass to her . . . She'll hate me. Nahko, and me.
Just. Do. It.
"I don't know what the hell you're talking about," I say, and push an irritated look into my face. The crumbling of our friendship begins, as my walls grow stronger.
She rolls her eyes, and fidgets her hand.
"You know what I'm talking about," she insists. "All the touching, and the looks, and how you nearly kissed me weeks ago. Theodore, you've got Ruth."
No, Shailene Woodley. I want you. I want to have got you.
But . . .
"No fucking shit. Shailene, do you honestly believe I'd ever want you?" I add bricks to my walls as I watch her recoil. The hurt is displayed across her face with equal confusion.
I can't have her know how I feel about her. "Damn it Woodley, don't let the fame get to your head. We're just friends, and if you're looking for more than that go seeing fucking Nahko."
My last words sting me and burn her. Too far Theo, too far.
"I, wha-, Theo, I, I, I," she stutters and let's out short deep breaths. I grit my teeth, as the lies spill from my mouth like acid— burning her.
I know the pain etched across her face has nothing to do with the fact that I don't like her; it's the hurt in my words and the sneer as I mock her.
"Get yourself together," I sigh and head for the door, I don't want to leave you. "You're a bloody actor Shailene. At least pretend like you're okay."
»»
"Tris," I say, my voice dead as a doorknob. "Are. You. Okay?" My voice is monotone due to my boredom and not wanting to be here. It's awkward as all fucking, fuck. Neither of us wants to be near each other, but she does a better job of pretending . . . Okay maybe, I do want to be near her. But I can't.
"No," she whispers, fully in character as if ignoring my stupidity. "Tobias, you, you . . . Uriah's in a coma! He was one of the last friends I had left." On cue she looks up to meet my dull eyes, as tears stream relentlessly down her cheeks.
"And what's more?" She continues, and my eyes widen as she strays off script. What're you doing? "You hate me. You say you love another, yet treat me as if we're still together." She pauses, and the hurt displayed across her face is no other than the truth, the reality. It's mixed with the script, and her true feelings. If only this part was in the script, it'd be amazing.
I look up to Neil and the others who are gaping at the two of us. I'm shocked as Shailene starts breaking into sobs, and glaring forcefully at me.
"You were one of the few things I had left you know? Damn it! I've been through shit, and dealt with shit. But it's okay for you to come into my life and flirt with me like nothing else matters and then run the fuck of with your girlfriend. I ask you what the hell is up, and you shoot me down as if I'm asking you out; when all I want to know is why you act like this, why?"
She heaves and backs away from me. I quickly stand up, nearly tripping on the uneven bland concrete flooring. My heart is racing as she breaks free from her character and breaks down in front of the cameras. All because of me.
I am the reason Neil will look down upon her for bringing personal issues into the scene. I am the reason she is hurting, after I splayed hurtful words upon her. I am the reason.
"I-I have to go," she stammers, and my heart nearly jumps out of my chest. I can't believe I had this strong of an affect on her. "Neil I'm so, so sorry. But I can't do this today, and my back . . . I have to go."
I reach for her hand and she instantly recoils and stumbles, hitting a camera that goes flying, and she lands on the floor. I close my eyes, and wish for her to be somewhere safer and happier where she isn't feeling like this.
Embarrassment floods her cheeks, and I glance at the wincing camera man. He's trying not to look to aggravated at us actors, and in this depressing state—it's kind of comical.
Shailene is gasping, and is doing what seems to be pushing herself up but to no avail.
"Shai," Neil coaxes, and motions for everyone to leave. "I'll help you up, it's okay. I get it; it's fine." He glances up and notices me still standing. "Wait one minute okay?" His voice is quick to Shailene and he moves to me.
Jealously almost shoves me over, but I know that I shouldn't feel this way.
"Theo you need to leave now," he says in a hushed tone.
"No she's my friend," I say, and I plead with him. He shakes his head at me, disappointment written all over his face.
"Clearly not," he says, and rests his hand on my shoulder. "If you caused her this much pain that she's cried on set I'm going to ask you to stay away from her for now. It's for the movie, and also for her."
I flinch away from him, and start towards the door. In a split second he's next to Shailene helping her up.
As I'm about to leave as I hear his hushed words, "Is the scoliosis acting up again?"
a/n➸ OH MY LORD! I can't believe it's been nearly a month since I updated?!
June 23rd, then I'm off of school, then off to Tofino till the 28th, then the 30-4 I'm up in the mountains, then the next week I'm at camp being a counsellor, then I'm at some water slides the next weekend, and then I go on my giant family camping trip!!! And that's just July😳
What're your guys Summer Plans?!
What day does the hell called 'school' end for for y'all?!
YOU ARE READING
Rated R
Fanfiction"You've got me like an alcoholic," I breathe. "I can't stop; I have to always have you; I can't stop drinking you." "Likewise," he replies. ➸ ➸ Shailene Woodley and Theo James are both insanely wealthy, and fortunate people. As they prepare...
