Theo's POV:
"God," I mutter, and stare at her, wanting to punch a wall. Her hair flung aimlessly around, while bubbly laughter fills the air from her mouth.
The way perfection moves with her through every step makes me want to grab the sides of her face, and kiss her passionately, never letting go.
The wistful sound of air when she moves around; how angels sing while she speaks— oh it's just so beautiful.
I'm supposed to feel this way about Ruth.
Not Shai. Not Shai. Not Shai. Not Shai!
As she takes Ruth's hand in her own, holding it, she flicks her eyes to mine.
"I wish we were alone," she whispers, folding her hands in my hair.
"I wish that always," I sigh against her, holding her soft cheeks in my bare hands
I cough looking at my shoes, embarrassment flooding me. I should not be thinking about the passionate love scenes I've played out with Shailene. That's wrong. It's incredibly disgustingly wrong.
I shouldn't be thinking about how 'angles sing' and how . . . How she makes me fucking insane.
It's even worse when my girlfriend lays in a bed across from me, starring at me with complete love in her eyes.
I wonder if I look like that when I see her? I wonder if she can tell? Dear Lord, I hope not. I hope she can't see the lust and . . . Love? . . . I display for Shailene.
I lick my lips, and look up at the two women who threaten to destroy me.
"Ruth," I sigh, and I reach for to stroke her attacked leg. Charred and healing flesh is all I can see of the bottom of her foot to her knee. A charred and dying heart. That's what you'd find inside of me.
"Theo," she replies, and I gulp, looking into her eyes.
"Do you love her? Is that why you're not here anymore? Is that why you ignore my calls? You love Shailene Woodley— and not me."
I flinch at the memory. Ruth had accused me of having an affair with Shai, months ago. She had cried and yelled, throwing my phone at my face, then furthering to take it back and show all the photos of her I had on there.
You love Shailene Woodley and not me.
What if I do?
I let out a cringing breath.
My girlfriend looks at me expectantly and I try not hold her gaze. The penetrating thing that seems to be trying to look through me. Look into me. Why? I shouldn't have said anything. I should've been quiet. Shit.
"Theo?" She says, and sits up groaning.
"Whoah!" My co-star yells, and pushes Ruth back down. "Ruth relax."
I wish I could relax, I wish I could think, but I can't with Shai's burning gaze. With her beautiful face, and daring eyes, and her voice that demands to be heard. I can't.
"Leave," I hiss at her, the rudeness involuntary. I can't. I can't talk to Ruth with Shailene here it's impossible. It will kill me. She knows too much.
I've slipped up, I've melted her down to the core. I've nearly done what I fantasize to do and she knows too much.
Besides, she shouldn't be in here. She is friends with Ruth and that is it, Ruth is my girlfriend.
Convincing myself of that is harder than it should be.
She drops Ruth's hand, her mouth forming an 'o' and I notice goose bumps have appeared on her arms. I did that to her; it makes me want to vomit.
Pain and confusion is etched across her face in gold, and I nod at her.
Oh, I'm such a pompous ass.
"Uhm, oh," she fiddles with her thumbs. Please just leave.
"Shai, you don't have to leave—"
"Yes she does," I insist, and shoot daggers at Shailene. I can't fucking think with her here, it's impossible. Why can't she see that, damn it?
My heart aches to reach into her mind and scream, "I need you to stay, but you have to leave! You make me insane! You make me feel—"
"I'll go," she plasters on a smile, breaking my selfish thoughts. "Don't worry Ruth. Get better! We need to go out sometime." She stands up, and reaches for her purse, biting her lip.
Everytime I see her I want to take that lip between my teeth, break her from the habit.
She. Has. To. Leave.
She glances at me, as if double checking I'm sure. Am I sure? No. But I can't . . . I can't have her here . . . Fuck.
Yet, I can't help but feel guilty for randomly snapping on her, but she must realize what I'm feeling. Right?
She coughs, walking to the door. She slows when she gets to me, looking up in pain at me, before she speeds up and out the door. She doesn't realize what I'm feeling. I close my eyes in pain for a few seconds before regaining the strength to open them.
"Theo!" Ruth demands, and I move quickly beside her. She shakes her head, and I advance to sit on her bed.
"I'm sorry love," I say and kiss her cheek. "I just needed to see you alone."
She blushes, and holds my worn hand.
I stand up and she furrows her brow.
My needs have changed since Shai left. My needs are focused on Ruth and what's beneath the dressing gown.
I need to get her off of my mind.
My fingers gently scrape up her leg, tickling her just slightly.
"Sex God," she instantly mutters, biting her lip. Yes baby.
"You like it dirty don't you?" I smirk, knowing I've got her right where I want her. Right where I need her.
She gapes, as I remove the blankets and lean towards her bare stomach. I push the dress up further, revealing nothing but beautiful flesh beneath.
"Th-Theo, I can't move my other leg."
I nod, reaching my hand to caress her cheek. I push her uninjured leg to fall of the side, and instantly start licking the area around her thighs. Often I blow hot air onto her pale stomach.
I have to be gentle with her, her wounds are still healing. And will be for a while.
No she is not Shailene Woodley, but I do love her, and I couldn't handle myself if I harmed her.
My tongue flicks across her pale skin as she whimpers. I get near the sensitive patch between her legs, yet only enough to get her to beg. I start sucking dangerously close to her clit, and she smacks my back, shaking and begging.
"You don't want me to eat you out. You're too pure," I smirk, pulling away. Ruth needs incentive in bed. That's one of the reasons getting steamy with her is oh-so enjoyable.
With Shailene out of the room and only my girlfriend in front of me . . . It's easier.
"Fuck," she starts trying to hump herself against me, and I make a tsking sound, and move my fingers to gently struck her clit.
I moan at the feeling of her and she gasps as I remove my hand.
"You want me to eat you out here, huh?" I growl seductively. "A nurse could walk in." Her eyes plead with sexual desire, and I smirk.
I bury my face in between her legs.
➸a/n: hiya! oh my lord guys! i am seriously sorry about my lack of updates! if you've checked my message board, you'd see i had taken a break, and to be honest after that and currently i've rarely been on! not to mention severe writers block took place. i wrote two different chapters for this, but this one is way better.
i hope you're enjoying this.
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Rated R
Fanfiction"You've got me like an alcoholic," I breathe. "I can't stop; I have to always have you; I can't stop drinking you." "Likewise," he replies. ➸ ➸ Shailene Woodley and Theo James are both insanely wealthy, and fortunate people. As they prepare...
