Antithesis: The Vampire Alliance Book Three - FIRST DRAFT COMPLETED

Antithesis Chapter 2: Eve Blakethorn-Sullivan April 2013

Eve Blakethorn-Sullivan, April 2013

Leaving Tul in Rob’s care, I make my way back through the corridors of the base to the shrine. I’ve been meaning to come here since its creation but between interrogations and attacks I’ve never gotten around to it. Now is as good a time as any though, and if I’m honest I need a few minutes away from Tul. I need a few minutes to calm my frustration at his request

‘The shrine’ is technically just a side corridor between the auditorium and the stores, but it’s become far more than the sum of its parts. The walls have been covered in photos of the deceased and the missing. Row upon row of candles cast their flickering glow over the pictures of the lost, each burning in remembrance of a soul the Senate has claimed.

The remaining bare concrete has been painted, and images of heaven and hope decorate the now sacred space. However, more touching than the symbolic imagery is the artist’s lovingly rendered painting of a girl. Each brush stoke has been placed with care, with adoration, with grief, and I wonder who she was and when she’d been lost. She wasn’t someone I’d known.

The girl isn’t the only victim I don’t recognise. At first this shrine had been dedicated to those lost in the Senate attack on the previous base but it’s quickly become a monument to all who’ve fallen. Many of the photos and names pinned to the walls belong to people I’d never met, people lost before I joined the Alliance. Some were lost before I was born. This hallway is a testament to decades of struggle, of loving and losing and learning to live again. Not everyone’s lovers come back from the dead and I know, in that respect, I’ve been lucky.

I don’t get to say that very often but occasionally it’s true, in some ways I am lucky. I’ve still lost people though, and sometimes my colleagues forget that when they see me with Rob or Tul. But I haven’t forgotten. I still have names I want to add to the remembered dead, names that deserve their place among the beloved slain.

Heart-breaking as it is to admit, I no longer own photographs of the family and friends the Senate have taken from me. Those were lost in the house I’d shared with Rob, and in the fire which destroyed both my wedding photos and Rob’s trench diary.  All I have to add to the shrine are the scraps of paper in my hand, scraps on which I’ve scrawled the names of people I love but won’t ever see again.

“What are you doing here?” An angry voice demands and I turn to the woman who remains knelt on the floor, as if I’d interrupted her prayer.

It would be easy to snap at her, to resent Annalisa’s anger and the jealousy souring her scent. I keep my peace, not because her resentment is justified but because her eyes are puffy with crying, her face blotchy as she clutches a photo of her fiancé to her chest. Understanding her pain allows me to hold my tongue, at least to begin with.

“Is it appropriate for you to be here?” The man beside her asks, a man I haven’t yet had the ‘pleasure’ of meeting officially. “Aren’t your husbands back at home, alive and in one piece?”

The comment irks me. I can forgive the grieving Annalisa her anger and jealousy because her lover had died and I understand that pain. However, I can’t, I won’t, forgive the man for denying depth of either Rob’s or Tul’s suffering. 

“Perhaps you should ask Tul how it feels to be in one piece,” I mutter, my tone only remaining neutral through a force of will. “Who have you lost?”

The man winces at my mention of Tul but there’s still anger in his voice when he answers my question. “My sire and my wife. They won’t come back.”

“I’m sorry for your loss.” My reply is earnest but it’s far from all I want to say. “I know how hard it is to lose people.”

Stepping forward I pin the first white slip of paper to the wall. “I lost my father,” I remind them before adding the second and third strips, “my mother and my sister.”
My voice catches when I add Beth’s name to the wall. “One of my best friends was killed to goad me. Another died when the Senate destroyed my wedding.”

After pinning Sophie-Jayne’s name next to Beth’s I turn back to my colleagues, letting them see the tears welling in my eyes. “Not everyone comes back, not even for me. I’m lucky, I know that, but if you’re going to loathe me there are more valid reasons than those you’ve chosen. Don’t resent the recovery of a man the Senate killed and enslaved. Don’t grow bitter over the life of another who’s lost all willingness to go on living. Hate me for my mistakes, as many others do, but don’t hate me because I managed to save two of the long list of people the Senate decided to take from me.”

Spinning on my heel I stalk back out of the shrine corridor, leaving the mourners to think of me as they will. What do I have to lose in order to be accepted as one of them? My own life perhaps? Angrily I swipe tears of frustration from my eyes. Haven’t me and mine suffered enough? Isn’t Tul suffering enough without his very existence being resented by those we live with?

“Evie, are you alright?”

Blinking, I clear the bloody tears from my eyes. I hadn’t even seen Craig in front of me. “I’m fine. I’ve just been to the shrine.”

He frowns and I can see his confusion, why would I go to the shrine? It’s a struggle to keep my voice placid as I state, “It’s really no wonder that strangers resent my good fortune at having Rob and Tul returned, if my friends can’t even remember that I’ve lost people too. If my friends can’t remember my family, Beth, and Sopie-Jayne are all dead then what hope do the others have?”

Craig flinches visibly as he falls in step beside me. “I’m sorry Eve, I didn’t mean... I’m sorry, I didn’t think... What did they say back there?”

“Nothing.” Pausing, I try to calm my anger. I want to be able to let it go. I want to have the willpower to ignore the comments of other Alliance members. It’s not in me to do so however and my temper flares despite my good intentions.

My tone is close to a snarl as I admit, “It was implied that I had no right to be there, that I hadn’t lost anyone. One of them, I don’t know his name, even said my husbands were at home ‘in one piece’. Does Tul seem anything other than broken to you? He put two nitrate rounds in his head for Christ’s sake! Does he have to die before he’s forgiven for being saved? Does Rob have to kneel over an executioner’s block again before his sacrifice is enough? Once we’re all dead will we appease the ‘allies’ who begrudge us our lives?”

Shaking my head I try to push my frustration away but it’s not easy. “I know I’ve made mistakes. Huge, almighty blunders even, which ensure a good many people will never like me. I’m not so obtuse that I can’t accept that. But haven’t I paid enough yet? I’ve grieved too. I fight too. The Senate have hurt me just like they’ve hurt everyone else and unlike many people here I actually have the scars to prove it. So does Rob. As for Tul... Tul’s...” I shrug, not able to find words to describe Tul’s state. Even ‘hopeless’ doesn’t cover it.

“I can’t believe anyone would say those things to you. Hell, I know everyone’s grieving but they should, at the very least, appreciate how many people you helped get out of the last base.”

His tirade seems heartfelt and I’m grateful for that, even as his eyes cloud and he looks down at me. “Evie? Is there anything I can do to help? Tulloch’s my friend, you’re my friend, if there’s anything I can do...”

I appreciate the request but there’s nothing Craig can do, not really, not yet. “I’m not sure there’s anything anyone can do until he’s ready to let us help him. The best thing you can do is look at him normally, should I ever manage to persuade him to leave our room or try rehab.”

“Is there any movement on that front, getting him to one of the rehabilitation classes?” Craig asks then grins at me. “I bet he’d still do anything for you, you know. It might be a little... unethical... but can’t you manipulate him into it, as it needs to be done?”

“I’ve already cajoled and begged. I’m not sure there’s much else...” My voice trails off as I consider what I could possibly do to manipulate Tul into conceding. Craig’s correct, it might be unethical to manipulate him but Tul needs to learn to feel strong again, to feel vampire again. I need to get him fighting and I need to get him hunting and if he thinks he’s doing it for me rather than for himself...

“Craig, don’t tell Rob or Tul this, but I love you.” Leaning up I plant a quick peck on his cheek. “I’ll see you later, I need to see Johan.”

The Alliance leader’s on the phone when I get to his office, so I have to wait patiently while he finishes his call. I say I wait ‘patiently’, but truthfully I can’t help bouncing on the spot and a s soon as Johan places the receiver in the cradle I launch into my proposition.

“I know you said you’re going to ban hunting because of what happened with the humans earlier, but I think I have an idea to get Tul to rehab and blood bags just aren’t going to cut it as a bribe. He won’t hunt for himself but he might do it for me and considering the date I think I know how to push him into doing as I ask.”

He blinks up at me, clearly needing a moment to catch up with my outburst. When he does begin to unravel my breathless tirade he shakes his head. “Eve, he hasn’t been interested in hunting since he was injured. That’s not going to get him up and about.”

“It might if do he feels obligated to go with me,” I retort, trying to sound sure of myself. “As Craig’s just said to me, it might be unethical but manipulating him might be the only way to get him motivated. He needs to feel like he can be himself again and that’s going to take fighting and feeding. If he won’t do it for himself then I’m hoping he might do it for me.”

Johan leans back in his chair and his expression can only be described as dubious. “Why would he feel obligated to hunt with you? He trusts Rob to take care of you. He won’t feel obligated to go with you even if I do give you dispensation to hunt. Which I’m reluctant to do, by the way. You got staked today, remember?”

“We’ll stay out of the city. We’ll drive to a small town instead. Come on Johan, there’ll be three of us and we’re all Strix. I think I might be able to get him to meet with Madeleine if I can do this, but it has to be arranged in the next few days. Come on, great-grandsire, trust me? It’s for Tul’s benefit.

Anyway,” I entreat, “if he really isn’t tempted by hunting, as you believe he won’t be, then we won’t go and you have nothing to worry about. If he does concede then we’re making progress and that deserves a reward, don’t you think? Wouldn’t you like the old Tul back?”

Still eying me sceptically Johan sighs wearily before demanding, “If you want me to agree to risk all three of you, aren’t you going to tell me how you plan on manipulating him into feeling obligated to take you hunting?”

“I’m going to use my feminine wiles. And behave like a petulant teen,” I tell him with a shrug. The statement may well be the truth, there could well be no other option. I don’t particularly relish the thought of manipulating Tul or behaving childishly, but needs must.

Shaking his head my great-grandsire watches me with visible confusion. “This is never going to work and that is the only reason I’m going to agree to let you try. If you get him to rehab you can take him hunting... and I’ll eat my hat.”

Grinning, I answer sweetly, “Thank you great-grandsire. I hope the millinery tastes nice.”

He quirks a brow at me. “If that’s your attempt at feminine wiles then whatever you’re planning is even more doomed that I originally estimated.”
My grin widens as I point out, “I’ve gotten what I want out of you, haven’t I?”