Antithesis: The Vampire Alliance Book Three - FIRST DRAFT COMPLETED

Antithesis Chapter 33: Eve Blakethorn-Sullivan September 2013

Eve Blakethorn-Sullivan, September 2013

I won’t say our return home to the Northern Headquarters was easy. Now when I pass the mortals living with us I can smell their fear, I can see the way their gaze follows me with nervous apprehension. Only Grace seems to trust me, only she seems to recognise that the raving monster who had returned from Senate captivity had not been me. Even some of the vampires eye me with open hostility. Not that such a thing is new; I’d just hoped we’d begun to get over it.

I’ve been grinning and bearing it however, grateful for the warmth Alex had bestowed on me as he and his family greeted me home. Van had hugged me enthusiastically too and for the first time I realised that she’s my oldest friend.
Johan had not been as affectionate with me upon our return, instead he had scrutinised me with a degree of infuriation before leaning in a whispering in my ear, “Not all laws are made for breaking.”

Hiding my internal flinch had not been easy but I’d quirked a defiant brow at him and stated, “We heard your meeting with Mr Cameron went well, it’ll be nice not to have to fear mortals as well as the Senate, won’t it?”

He had frowned at my defiance, planting his tall frame in front of me and blocking my path. Rob and Tul had grown tense, ready to intervene if Johan should make any move against me. “Some decisions should have been left to me. You don’t have the right to decide...”

“And you do?” My question halted him but his glare is still searing. “I have no idea what you think I did or did not do, Johan. I suggest you tell me that you’re grateful for my defence of Norham House and leave it at that.”

Johan sighed then, relaxing and pulling me into a bear hug. “You are an impossible woman. Thank you for fighting for us.”

Grinning, I disentangled myself, “See? Isn’t that much friendlier?”

Rolling his eyes and shaking his head our leader had simply answered with, “Welcome back, the three of you. At least here I can keep an eye on you.”
Tul had laughed at that notion, chuckling, “We have a couple of centuries between us you know, grandsire; we aren’t twelve.”

In the intervening weeks since our return the world outside the base had begun to change, it’s still changing, but I’m not sure it’s for the best. The presence of anti-vampire propaganda is already reducing and our anti-Senate sentiment is certainly spreading. Charleston, as predicted, has assumed control of the government. While that does paint a target on his back it’s also made him more openly ruthless than he ever had been previously as a result. After losing his ability to influence the human government he reverted to his age old method of terrifying the world into compliance. His Enforcers, Paladins and Strix are killing even more indiscriminately than ever before. That encourages the Redeemers to step up the brutality of their own bloody games too.

“Do you think we did the right thing?” I ask Rob one day as we watch news reports documenting massacre after massacre.

“Sometimes things have to get worse before they get better,” he answers, wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me against his side. “Charleston’s making ever more enemies. Eventually people will be desperate enough to fight and then those of us wanting freedom will be unstoppable.

Things are changing. He’s becoming more brutal because he’s beginning to lose control. He’s afraid and rightfully so. We’ve unravelled part of his plan. We’ve created an alliance with humans, something he would never have accomplished and didn’t expect us to manage either. He wouldn’t have even considered it because he sees mortals as cattle, just like any Redeemer do.

We’ve also destroyed his mascot and those who had believed Clarence to be the mastermind behind the Senate see Charleston as an unknown-entity. He created a facade and that’s crumbled, now he has to start over re-cementing the Senate’s image with him at the helm. It took decades to build up the image of Clarence and the Senate into something to be feared, something which appeared permanent, unmovable. Despite Charleston being the true mastermind he appears to the general public as a new leader, a volatile new leader who could create more chaos than Clarence ever did. People will rise up against him because of that.”

“And in the meantime people will die,” I point out, “because of us.”

Falling into the chair on my other side Tul shakes his head at that assertion. “Not because of us. Charleston is the only one responsible for his actions and that’s what the world needed to realise. Now he’s showing the world the truth he will fall.”
I go silent at that, concealing the truth I think I’ve known ever since I first concocted my scheme to reveal Charleston’s importance to the rest of the world. I’ve been denying the inevitable, even to myself, but the more I watch innocent people die the more I realise that I won’t be able to hide forever.

“Evie?” Rob queries, a concerned frown creasing his brow. “What is it you’re hiding?”

“You know me too well,” I state resentfully but then sag, knowing that they’ll keep pressing until I reveal my thoughts. “I have to remove Charleston. He’s Strix, one of mine, it can only be me.”

Two openly stunned and wholly forbidding faces turn to me. Rob and Tul’s shock and denial course through me but they aren’t ever going to be able to dissuade me. “We’re yours too. We can do it together,” Tul insists.

I don’t want to point out how well that turned out last time but he can see it in my expression. He glances at the stump where his hand had been, defiance and no small amount of anger blazing hotly in his eyes. Before he can argue my unintentionally made point I interrupt with another, “No, we distract each other. We’d be so busy defending each other that we’d fail to do what we set out to do. This is another one of those things that has to be done individually. We all have parts to play, certainly, but Hardy’s demise is my part.”

“I have as much right to want vengeance on him as you do,” Rob responds angrily, wrongly assuming that a personal vendetta is behind my decision. Sure, I would love to wage war on Charleston for all he’s done, but that’s not why it has to be me.

“Don’t do that Rob,” my growl silences him as I push myself up from our sofa. “Yes, I admit it; I want him to fear me. I want him to hurt. I would love to carry out my own form of justice on Hardly Charleston but that’s not why this is my task. Charleston is centuries older than either of you and now he’s Strix to boot, if either of you goes against him he will kill you.”

“We’re both older than you are,” argues Rob, stating a technical truth that I doubt really applies. “If our age makes us incapable why should you succeed?”

“We’re not older than her, not in every sense.” Tul’s interruption surprises me and I can sense his reluctant resignation. I hadn’t appreciated that he would understand so much more than Rob but it’s evident as he continues, “What we have is an infection, a gift that was donated to us. What she has is two thousand years in the making. It’s not an acquired state but something integral to her, it’s what she’s always been. It’s what her farther and her grandfather and her great-grandmother were. It’s the heart of her, in a way it’ll never be for any made vampire.

Yes we have a century of experience each but she can access an eternity of experiences. She inherited more knowledge than we may ever come by. Eve is something we’re never going to be Rob, look at how she co-ordinated Kent. Her date of birth has very little meaning here because what she is was determined by an ancient Strix and a powerful seer during the reign of Caligula.

Our lives were created by mortals and extended by the grace of her ancestors. Let’s face it, even our immortality only came about because her ancestors decided that Johan had a part to play in her life. Maybe Aemiliana knew Johan would change you or that you’d change me. We’re part of the story but that’s all we are. We’re here to help Eve but we aren’t her.

We keep trying to see her as the frail human she first appeared to be, or as a new vampire who needs to be looked after, but she isn’t either of those things. She never really has been. She wasn’t frail on that stage all those years ago and she’s never acted as a newly turned, not really. She’s more than either of us because something in her blood is older than either of us.”

With his expression souring further Rob almost vaults from the chair, furious at Tul for daring to agree with me. He glares at me as he stalks past, heading for the door. “I can’t bear mourning you again.” And there’s the heart of it, the reason for his anger and the fuel that encourages it to burn brightly. I can appreciate that but it doesn’t change what I need to do.

“No more than I could bear mourning you again, I’d imagine.” My honest response does nothing to cool his flaming temper though and he slams the door as he leaves.
I move to follow him but Tul catches my elbow. “You can’t reason with him, Eve, he isn’t ready to see it. Let me talk to him. Don’t make the mistake of thinking I’m comfortable with what you’re suggesting though.”

He scowls at me for a moment, as if to prove his point before adding, “You’re pale. Why don’t you go and find a donor while I try to cool him down. A little faux endorphin boost from feeling you feed might help his mood.”

Part of me wants to refuse, to say I can’t go and feed when Rob is hurting. I am hungry though, despite having fed the previous day. Shrugging I accept that there’s nothing for it. “Yeah, fine.”

Leaning up I kiss him lightly. “I love you Tul. I love you both. I know when I died last time your attacks on the Senate were suicide attempts as much as a vengeance mission but I don’t want you to do that again. We survived Rob and you gave me back my life.  Tul, if I die you need to do that for each other. You need to give each other a life, not form some suicide pact.”

His slate blue eyes bore into mine, open and earnest and filled with love. “I will never make you a promise that I feel would be impossible to keep.” With that he follows Rob, leaving me to stare at our door in concern and irritation.

“If I die I’m going to haunt the pair of you,” I say into space. “Just to make sure neither of you do anything stupid.”

While trying not to torture myself with that thought I head towards the area of the facility which has been set aside for mortals. I’m sure they’ll be less than thrilled to see me but I can always get bagged blood if they’re all reluctant to open a vein. I try to remember which of the humans have agreed to biting but that proves to be a struggle as I didn’t exactly pay much attention during the last few weeks prior to my untimely death. If all else fails I can ask Grace to point me in the right direction.

The human recreation/dining/meeting room is crammed full of people including, strangely enough, Alex and his wife and daughter. Alex had explained once that vampire children have to eat human food as well as blood until they reach maturity. They need the nutrients to develop or some such thing. Then, once they reach their prime, the vampire genes take over and blood is enough to sustain life. I suppose Alex finds it easier and healthier to bring the little girl to the human dining room now rather than microwaving her ready meals in their tiny family room.

I haven’t had food since Tul changed me. Truthfully I haven’t even been around food since my change. The combination of living in a vampire facility or surviving in a vampire prison cell has left me with little access to the things I had once loved, like chocolate. I miss chocolate. Not that I need food. I can eat it as a disguise provided I’m well fed on blood and have the excess energy it takes to digest but I don’t require it. It still smells good though, I realise as I inhale the scent of Bolognese rising from the steaming dishes on the counter along the side wall.

“Eve,” Grace greets me as she rises from a table where she had been eating her own plate of delicious looking pasta. “Can I help you?”

“I’m hungry,” I state slowly, frowning at her half eaten meal. The smell of tomato, garlic and herbs torments my senses and inexplicably my mouth begins to water. My fangs descend and I blink in surprise at my body’s reaction to a stimulus it shouldn’t crave.

“Oh,” Grace mumbles in response, quirking a brow at my silvered eyes and visible fangs. “It’s nothing personal but I think you may find it difficult to find a willing donor. Especially looking like that.  Although I don’t mind, I could feed you.”

“What?” I blink in confusion, not following what she’s telling me as I stare longingly at food, real, proper food.

“I can get you bagged blood or I can feed you.” Grace repeats her offer and neither option appeals at all.

The realisation that I’m not at all hungry for blood comes as something of a shock. The knowledge that I’m hungry but craving human food is even more daunting. I’m a vampire; I shouldn’t require food. Is there something wrong with me? Rob hadn’t changed Tul properly maybe Tul siring me caused something not quite right as well? Or is this part of my heritage? Had it been impossible to remove the human part of me fully? Is that why, when faced with food, I want it? I had always been part vampire, maybe I’d always be part human too.  A thousand panicked possibilities run through my suddenly fevered mind although I have no idea what’s truly happening to me.

“Eve?” Grace prompts, beginning to look concerned, nervous of me even. “Eve, will I get you a blood bag?”

“No,” I murmur, thoroughly confused, “I don’t want blood. I want Bolognese.” Hearing the words I start giggling at my own ridiculous admission. Humans back away from me, clearly unnerved by me, a woman they’d already decided was mad. “The Bolognese smells really good.” I continue to giggle as I try to figure out my mysterious need for mince and carbohydrates.

“I think you should sit down with us for a moment,” Alex interrupts my breakdown before turning back to the one mortal woman who doesn’t usually fear me. “Grace, can you get Eve some pasta please?”

As I perch on the edge of a plastic chair next to Alex I frown at the table, playing with the edge of the brightly coloured plastic table cloth of a type I thought had disappeared in the eighties. “What’s wrong with me?”

Sarah, Alex’s wife, laughs and the sound is reassuring. “Nothing’s wrong with you. You’re young, sometimes old cravings hit. Some vampires always like certain foods. I knew a man once who always loved stilton.” She pulls a disgusted face before sorrow saddens her eyes. “He was turned into a Paladin though. Try the pasta, chances are you’ll come to your senses and want blood after the first mouthful.”

Actually, the first mouthful is one of the best things I’ve ever tasted. Despite my ever increasing anxiety I scrape the plate clean. I’d honestly eat another bowlful if I had the courage to ask and the only thing that stops me going into a full blown panic is Sarah’s growing smile. Placing my fork back on the table I look up into the beaming faces of Alex and his wife. “So is one of you going to explain what’s going on? I mean this isn’t normal is it?”

Still grinning Sarah kisses her daughter quickly before she stands. “Come on, I’ll take you to see Dr Franklin to confirm.”

The mention of the doctor’s name sends a shudder down my spine and not just because of the memories of his venom collector. Why would I need a doctor if everything is alright? “There is something wrong with me isn’t there? What needs confirmed? What’s going on?” I demand, my heart rate speeding up and my pulse pounding in my ears. I’m mid marital crisis and I need to kill a monster, being defective is the last thing I need. “Please, what’s going on?”

Alex grins as he pulls his daughter onto his knee. “Nothing’s wrong with you Eve, you’re probably pregnant, that’s all. That’s the only thing that can make a vampire genuinely require food. Just like our children need food, our unborn babies need the same nutrients and they have to come through the mother. Therefore expectant vampires need to eat. Dr Franklin will be able to confirm it for you but I’m pretty confident I can say congratulations.”

I stare at him, unable to form words as with my mouth hangs open in astonishment, in fear, in outright disbelief. When I finally find my voice words tumble out, barely coherent. “No. I can’t be; it’s almost impossible. I can’t be. It’s too dangerous. There are things I need to do!”

“Whoa, hun,” Sarah breathes gently, trying to calm my obvious terror. “I know it’s a lot to take in. We could mistaken,” she reassures me but from the look she gives Alex she’s doing little more than trying to mollify me. “Why don’t we get Dr Franklin to check you out eh? Chances are this is just a quirk because you’re young. He’ll be able to tell you one way or another pretty quickly.”

Numb with dread I manage to stagger to my feet. “Can we do this immediately, like before either of my husbands react to my outright panic and come looking for me?” Another wave of fear hits me and I sway on my feet. “Oh, Christ, if I were to get pregnant I wouldn’t know which one... I can’t be pregnant. I can’t.” It’s almost impossible to suppress the urge to cry.

Seeing the tears welling in my eyes Sarah’s expression changes and her tone becomes comforting. “Eve, it’ll be fine. Come on,” she takes my hand, “let’s go and get this sorted.”

She may as well be leading me to my execution. Actually, I’d probably handle such a thing better than this as I’ve had time to acclimatise to that possibility. Rob may have mentioned the idea of children in Yorkshire but the notion of an actual pregnancy has taken me completely off guard. Out of all the things I have to fear I’d never ever imagined that this disaster would befall me.

There were things vampire women did to help conception, like feed more for a start. I hadn’t done anything. Hell, I’d recently been dead and haven’t exactly fed a lot since. We hadn’t been trying and accidents are exceptionally unlikely. This shouldn’t be happening to me. This is as impossible as being Strix. Then again, considering the reason I am Strix maybe that’s the key to this whole ridiculous scenario.

I follow Sarah somewhat blindly to the medical suite where we find Dr Franklin spinning on an office chair. His workload has increased slighty with the base having mortal residents. However, with disease free, immortal vampires still making up the vast majority of the Alliance membership he doesn’t exactly have a lot of patients to see.

“Can I help you?” He asks, glancing at me with the same hunger he always had although there’s wariness too. Don’t taunt the crazy monster.

When my mouth opens and closes wordlessly Sarah takes over, “We need a pregnancy test,” she tells Dr Franklin.

“Oh, work.” Franklin almost leaps from his chair in his enthusiasm to do something. Just how bored is he now he isn’t testing my blood? “I didn’t know you and Alex were trying for a second. You should have come to see me.”

“It’s not for me,” she admits and I feel my mouth go dry as Dr Franklin arches a brow in my direction. Sarah nods at his unspoken question as she confirms, “It’s for Eve. She’s just devoured a plate of Bolognese as if her life depended on it.”

Dr Franklin’s expression grows even hungrier as he mulls over Sarah’s explanation. “Well, well, well, there’s a truly intriguing idea, a natural born Strix in the twenty first century.” After tugging a needle and vial from a drawer the doctor advances menacingly towards me. “And how do you feel about the possibility Eve?”

I whimper and Franklin smiles, “It’s a bit of a surprise then?”

Feeling truly desperate I plead with him, despite how much I tend to resent his presence here.  “Tell me it’s not certain. Tell me I might not be. It’s the wrong time.”

Dr Franklin glances briefly at Sarah before he presses the needle into a vein at the crook of my arm. “Sarah, dear, could you find Blakethorn and Sullivan for me please? While patient confidentiality would require I keep this private I don’t really want to be left alone with the world’s ultimate predator if I have to give her news she doesn’t want to hear. I assume that’s alright Eve?”

My second whimper is far from a confirmation but as it isn’t a coherent refusal either Sarah does as requested. She squeezes my hand briefly before she disappears, leaving me in Franklin’s care. He doesn’t make conversation. He doesn’t even tease as he had done in the past. Perhaps he thinks I’ll slip over the brink and into madness at the slightest push. The only thing he does do is place my blood sample in a machine, a whirring contraption designed to measure the subtle fluctuation of hormones in vampire blood chemistry.

I know when Sarah finds Rob and Tul by their sudden increase in anxiety. When they race into the medical suite moments later they both look terrified. I can’t decide if they are flustered at the thought of a baby or if Sarah has withheld the reasons for my visit to Dr Franklin and left my husbands imagining a wealth of horrific possibilities.

“What’s wrong?” Rob demands, clarifying for me, “Sarah didn’t say.”

Unable to look at him or Tul I sink onto the examination couch and bury my face in a pillow. Unfortunately I can still hear Franklin as he explains the situation. “Eve was hungry earlier, only rather than choosing one of our delicious donors she selected a bowl of the mortal cook’s finest pasta. Sarah thought it was worth checking out.”

No sooner is that admission voiced than I can feel a rush of shock running through both of my husbands. They obviously know what craving human food means, even if I hadn’t. An eternity of knowledge in my head and I didn’t know this very basic fact about vampire reproduction. I guess it goes to show I’m more interested in battle tactics than babies. I’d never ever thought to look up the pregnancy symptoms of vampires. After Rob died there seemed to be no point and my life has been incredibly complicated ever since meeting Tul. Our situation has never exactly been appropriate for raising children.

However, more worrying than the fact I’m predisposed to violence rather than family life is the flood of expectant joy rippling through both Rob and Tul. They’re pleased about the possibility of a baby? But why? We live in a war zone. We have jobs to do. My anxious internal confusion is interrupted by the beeping of Franklin’s machine. Looking up I can’t help beginning to hyperventilate as he interprets the results.

“Congratulations,” Franklin grins at Rob and Tul although his eyes flick nervously to me as if I may explode at his revelation. “I’m pleased to tell you that you are indeed going to be parents. From the hormone levels I would say the child was conceived during your sojourn in Yorkshire.”

Tul’s face breaks into a wide grin as a truly ecstatic laugh rumbles from him. He hugs me first then he hugs Rob with equal gusto. He looks like he’s just won the lottery and I can’t help but feel he’s off his trolley.

Rob beams too, his eyes sparkling with genuine joy. “Evie,” he says breathlessly, earnestly, “that’s absolutely fantastic.”

They’ve obviously both gone completely barking mad. Everyone’s worried about my sanity but Rob and Tul have clearly lost the plot. “You are joking,” I hiss, the oncoming tears only dammed by the sudden urge to bang their heads together. “We are at war. We live in a bunker!” I wail, rambling again.

“I thought you wanted children,” Rob interrupts. “You said as much in Yorkshire.”

Stammering, I try to find the word to explain my dismay. “I said I’d dreamed of those things. Yes I wanted children, at some point, as part of a peaceful life. I certainly didn’t mean I wanted to get pregnant immediately, then and there. I don’t even know which of you is the father!”

“It doesn’t matter,” laughs Tul, still elated at the prospect of having a child, any child. “I don’t care who the biological father is. It will be our child and the three of us will raise him or her together.”

Rob nods, agreeing completely with Tul’s assertion and I can’t help but glare at them in furious incredulity. “We are at war!” I repeat, even more desperately than I had announced it the first time. “We’ve already gone over this today; I have things I need to do. I need to face Charleston. Now is a terrible time to have a baby!”

I think I may have gotten through to Tul as his expression falls, the jovial smile fading into a far more serious expression. “You aren’t fighting Charleston,” he states at last, “not now.”

Gaping at him I can’t believe my ears. “An hour ago you agreed that I had to do it. You agreed that I was more than anyone else and that I should be the one to put an end to Charleston’s regime.”

“An hour ago I didn’t know you were pregnant,” Tul retorts his tone forbidding argument. He folds his arms over his chest and planting his feet firmly, literally digging in his heals.

Rob studies me for a moment, his dark eyes blazing as he frowns at me. He’s still upset by my claim that Charleston is my responsibility; I can see it bubbling under the surface. I can feel it even. Now he has a baby to protect as well as me and I just know he’s going to do something I’ll resent in some misguided attempt to protect us.
“Franklin?” he asks, “Can I use your phone?”

I recognise Johan’s extension number as Rob types it into the medical suite phone. “Sire,” he greets our leader as soon as Johan answers, “can you come down to the medical suite please? It’s quite important.” He hangs up without waiting for an answer and then positions himself in front of the door as if to block any escape attempt I should choose to make. His uncompromising stance pushes my fraying temper almost to breaking point.

By the time Johan appears and Rob moves aside to let him in the atmosphere in the room is explosively volatile. “What on Earth is going on?” my great-grandsire asks as he glances between us.

“Eve’s pregnant,” Tul explains bluntly and I wince at the words as if they’re a physical blow.

I’m pregnant. I still can’t believe it. It can’t possibly be true. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to come to terms with it. This is never going to end well, it can’t, but I’m too scared to look into the future and confirm.

Rob feels something close to regret before he adds, “She wants to go and hunt Charleston. Worse she wants to do it on her own, despite expecting a child.”

Johan’s refusal is instant, unequivocal. “I forbid it. Vampire children are too rare to risk.” His gaze meets mine and his look is the forbidding expression of a leader laying down the law. “From this moment you are being removed from active duty Eve, as per our regulations. You must not leave the base without my express permission. Do you understand? It’s too dangerous.”

“Yeah, I understand.” My nails dig into my palms as I struggle to control my sudden and intense fury. I glare at Rob, “Nice way to discuss the matter with me, Robert. We couldn’t have talked about this? Did you really have to call Johan to place restrictions on me without even trying to understand how I might feel about this? Seriously, let’s forget any idea of being partners, husband, so we can get straight to me being placed under house arrest again.”

“You’re pregnant, love,” Tul murmurs, agreeing with the principle of Johan’s ruling even though he shakes his head at Rob. “While that was lacking tact, you do need to be protected. The baby needs to be protected. We’re just making sure you’re kept safe.”

Growling I can’t believe they would do this to me. I can’t believe they’d ask me to surrender my freedom, to become a captive again. I can’t be a prisoner, not even in my own home. “Well,” I hiss venomously, “if I’m going to be trapped here for the next eight or so months I want my own room because I’m sure as hell not sharing a bed with my gaolers.”

Hoping down off the couch I shove roughly past Tul. “I’m sure you two will be very happy together!” I yelp as I almost knock Rob off his feet in my desperation to escape the medical facility. It might be petty, it might even be out of character, but clearly the idea of a child has had that effect on all three of us.

By the time I reach Van’s door my tears are flowing freely over my cheeks. She takes one look at me and then tugs me into her room. “What have they done this time?” She asks, her expression compassionate as she directs me towards her sofa. “Seriously, one of these days I’m going to wring Tully’s neck on your behalf.”

“I’m having a baby.” The words fly out of my mouth and her eyes widen in surprise. I can empathise with that; surprise, shock, disbelief, they’re all perfectly reasonable emotions under the circumstances. “I can’t have a baby Van; I need to stop Charleston. Now Rob’s made sure I won’t be allowed out of the facility and Tul’s just going to stand by and let him hold me prisoner. They’re acting like complete strangers. They’ve both turned into crazy people.” Shaking my head I want to scream. “I can’t bring a child into this world,” I explain frantically, “I need to fix it first. They don’t get it. I need to fix it!”

My body begins to shake uncontrollably and Van grabs her duvet to drape around my shoulders. “Calm down little one, you’re in shock. They’re probably in shock too. It’s ok though, it’ll all be ok.”

“Van,” I whisper, terror clawing at my stomach, “I don’t know the first thing about pregnancy, or birth, or babies. Especially not vampire babies. What am I going to do? I want to roll back the clock and stop this happening!”