My year at Hogwarts as A Mudblood

Finally,

"So, I made up my mind Jules," Ron paused. I was shaking, i think he was able to see it " I'm sorry I took so long, Hermoine told me you were acting all weird. I just wanted to say, before we go in to the Great Hall, Is that. Well first when you got hit with Harry's spell, I was really worried, I mean uh, this is so hard to explain. I mean I was mad at you but a part of me still cared for you..." Ron's voice trailed off. I'm nervous and its getting worse. Not to mention I'm extreamly hungry, and also worried. I wanna apologize to Hermoine, and to Harry. But Ron isnt making this very easy. I just want a straight answer. Even though hearing Ron say he still cared for me when I probaly hurt him so much. I really needed the answer already. My stomach lurched as he started to talk but stopped as people walked into the Great Hall.

"Ron please, before you say anything, I'm sorry. Really I am." I just blurted that out. It's what i was dieing to say. It was killing me on the inside, i needed it off my chest. Then finally, Finally! Ron broke the akward silence, but not with words, with actions. My feet felt like they werent touching the ground. I felt like i was flying. It had to be a good 2 minutes before someone broke this amazing kiss.

"Hey Ron, Jules.." The voice trailed off, "I will just leave you guys alone." It sounded like Harry but I didnt care, Ron just kissed me, it was the best kiss i've ever had. Its weird to say that, since I havnt really kissed anyone but I know that this was the best  kiss. I waited for so long for this kiss. It was worth it. Afterwards he hugged me tightly, not letting me go, but i didnt care, i didnt want him to.

"Sooo I'm gonna take that as a yes you still love me, well want to go out with me I should say," the words rolled off my tongue before i could stop them. I didnt want to say anything, I wanted to just stay like that forever. My stupid mouth had to say something, maybe the kiss was to just check for sparks? Maybe Ron didnt mean it! I mean what a bloody ass I would have made myself if he said he didnt want to go out, and what was I talking about. Soon enough Ron started to say something, he was holding my hand as he walked into the Great Hall.

"Yes I want to go out with you, you can be such a idiot. What did you think I would kiss you just because? I kissed you because I love you!" He said that last part really loud, half the Great Hall was staring at us. But suddenly nothing mattered. Ron kissed me again, it was just me and him. Like as if this whole time was just me and him, as if Hermione wasnt there, or Draco, Harry, anyone Fred And George cooed. But nothing mattered, Nothing else. My dreams and hopes finally came true, finally!

Over the next couple of days we went to go see Hagrid. We as in Harry, Hermione, Ron and myself. The next week after that, was awsome also, me and Ron spent alot of time together, it was almost Christmas, I love that time of the year. I was sad though because Ron would be leaving to go back home, Hermione also, so it was just me and Harry. I told my parents I didnt want to go home, I honestly dont know why, something, a gut feeling I guess told me not to.

A couple of days later, me and Harry were in the Great Hall for Breakfast, it was Christmas Eve, and I was so excited, things were going great. Not to mention I caught up on some potions and other classes from my time in the Hospital Wing. Then the owls came, I got one from Ron and one from my parents, It was usual, Ron sent me one almost every other day, checking on me I guess. But I didnt mind. Everything seemed normal. It was my parents week to write back, I told them I just figured out my love life, like my dad wanted to hear that, and I told them everything is perfect. I opened this letter quickly because I wanted to open Ron's letter but I always opened my parents letter first. Nothing can change that.

When i saw what my dad wrote I screamed, since there was only a couple of people there it made it even louder. Instantly tears flowed down my face, not the happy kind, I didnt know what else to do, My body took over, I spilt my orange juice on Harry as I ran out. I heard footsteps behind me but i didnt want to talk to I took one of the many shortcuts i know of. I ended up right where I wanted to be. Yes it was a bathroom, but at least no one uses it. I cried for probaly a full 30 minutes. I couldnt believe it, I kept reading the letter over and over again. I just couldnt believe it, it was a perfect life until I read that letter.

Dear Jules, I'm writing this ina hurry because I dont have much time, I  It was unreadable because of a mark, most likely a tear but I couldnt believe it, we lost everything, The house, and I'm trying so hard not to cry. You need to be able to read this. Your father was.  another tear mark.  killed, we dont know how. He was coming home from work when...  tear mark, there were more now almost every word like my mother couldnt handle writing this. A truck slammed into him. Injuring him beyond repair. Jules Hes dieing Soon. Not yet though but soon. I tried to read around the tear marks. My perfect life wasnt as perfect anymore.'well I have a ticket for you, they arnt going to take him off of his oxygen or anything, till you get here, and say your goodbyes. With your father gone, the house.. we will have to move with Auntie Jess. I  hope you the best. And i also hope that you find this in time, The tear marks made it worse. They were my tears, I couldnt read it anymore. Mostly because It was a mixture of tears ink and loopy handwriting. It was awful to read, even more awful that I had to leave Hogwarts. I dont know if it was forever or until the doctors take the oxygen off him. All i know is that i had to pack my bags, and quickly.

As I packed I had flashbacks about all the good times we had. Going to the beach and him finally learning to surf, he said to me that as long as you keep your head held high enough, anything will be possible. My dad had horrible balance, so that made surfing hard, for the fact of you need to balance the surfboard. My life was turning worse and worse as i thought more and more.My perfect life, gone. I dont know how I can cope or will for that matter. Soon enough I knew the letter by heart. I didnt know what i wanted to do with it, keep or rid of it. I was just still so confused. I manged to write the shortest letter ever to Ron saying My father is dieing, and will be dead soon. No hope, I told him i cant take this life anymore. And I couldnt. I suddenly hated everything, everybody, I especially hated God for having to take my dads life. And perhaps my will to live.

On the train back I didnt do anything but cry, Dumbledore said i could bring Ron or Harry or Hermione, but i knew i had to do this alone. Finally the train lurched forward to the last stop. I wiped the tears but it didn't help much. My eyes were so red, itchy, and swollen from crying for a day nonstop. It gave me relief to cry. I bursted into the hospital and ran to the room My mother said that he was in. I cried as soon as i opened the door. It just all let out, I couldn't believe it, I spent all this time, with Ron and the others, and thought my life couldn't go wrong, and then this happens. Thank you God, I always LOVED your decisions, just not this one. My mother immediately came over to hug me. It was almost like that slow motion hug you get in movies, but it wasnt as happy.

"Jules! I wish we were able to see each other in a more happier way, but." I could tell my mom was even worse than me because she wiped her mouth and eyes with a tissue that was torn beyond torn. I almost melted at the sight of my dad. Just laying there, almost like he wasnt human, but a rock. I turned away almost as fast as i did when i came in. It was unbearable.

"Mom.. I wanted to say... or ask, will I be returning to Hogwarts." I spoke freely because it was My mother, My father and me, in the room.

"Well honey, i dont know, we will talk about that later." I just broke down and couldnt bear it anymore, I screamed like i was a little kid.

"DADDY NO! DONT GO!" the nurse actually came in and was about to say to be quiet before she saw my dad, She just nodded and left. Like she understood, No one understood. It was Heart wrenching. I didnt want to be here, i wanted everything to go back to normal. Is this my Christmas present, My father dieing!

"Jules, I just wanted to say, soon they are taking the tubes out, I will leave you alone to say goodbye." She limped out of the room, I dont know why, but she did, I didnt care at that point. This was my last chance to say goodbye to my father. I walked over to him and grabbed his hand, it layed motionless in mine. That made me choke up too. I sniffled, and whispered.

"i remember the time me and you went to the mall. It was the best time ever, you bought me that jacket, and when we took it home we found 10 bucks in it. We went back to that store everyday for a week, to see if we would get lucky again." I chuckled at the idea, "We never did but, I'm gonna miss you, so much. I really think I found my place at Hogwarts, and now i might not be going back. Great! Just great." I caressed his face when the impossible happened. My dad was suppose to be near death, but suddenly. I cant believe im saying this. He opened his eyes and said.

"I'm not going anywhere, you wont have to miss me"