I Loved You From The Beginning

Discoveries

So it turns our that this has become more of a story than a one shot but oh well 😂 hope you enjoy the rest of it.

With love
~A

"Uh..." I stammered. And he just looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to let him in. "Uh, yeah. Yeah, come on in." I open the door wider, allowing him to enter, then I explain, "Sorry its just been a long day and I didn't expect you to swing by, not that I mind, it was just unexpected, and I'm rambling now, aren't I?" I ask.

Jason laughs, his deep, comforting laugh, and manages to make me smile for the first time today. "Its okay. I actually came by here to talk to you about Mike." Seeing my expression become dull, he looks at me with his concerning eyes. Damn those eyes. I think to myself.

"Are you okay?"

No. I am most certainly, not okay. "Yeah I'm fine," I lie, giving a fake smile. Quickly changing the subject so he doesn't pursue the issue more, I ask, "What did you need to talk about?"

Remembering he had a legitimate reason for being here replies, "Right! I wanted to give you this."

He hands me a card with the name of a psychiatrist. I look at him questioningly and ask what it's for.

"For Mike. I know how hard it is to come out of a situation like this and I just thought that this might help," he quickly adds, hoping he hasn't offended me.

As I take the card from him, our fingers briefly come into contact, and neither one of us let's go of the card. I stare into his beautiful, green eyes. The ones that always seems to be searching, but never quite finding what he's looking for, and quickly snap out of reverie that they put me in, and he finally let's go of the card.

For a moment, I don't know what to say, then I remembered that I had to talk to Ezra. And that maybe standing in my house alone with Jason, wasn't a good idea, especially not after our littles moments.

I thank him for the card and come up with a lame excuse of having a bunch of tests I need to study for, even though its only Saturday. I'm sure he sees right through my façade but at that moment, I just really needed to get out of the house. He leaves after finally getting the hint, and as he walks out the door, I set my books down and start thinking about what I'm going to say to Ezra, not knowing that Jason had seen me through the kitchen window on his way out. Nor had I seen his hurt expression.

***

After Jason left, I grabbed my keys and headed for Ezra's apartment, knowing he'd be off work by now. I'm so nervous as I walk up the stairs. But my nervousness is quickly replaced by anger as I think about what he said to Jackie at Hollis.

Not even bothering to knock on the door, I walk right into his apartment and stop dead in my tracks.

The first thing I see is Jackie, and the next, Ezra... holding her. No. Kissing her. They both tear away from each other, realizing that they have an audience, and Ezra's face quickly drops from shocked, to worried within seconds.

If Ezra looked worried, then I'm sure my face was full of hurt and betrayal.

I didn't want to hear what he had to say. Nothing that he said could make up for what he did. Shaking my head slightly, while trying to keep my tears at bay, I turned on my heel and walked out of his apartment, down the stairs and into my car, as if I was on autopilot.

The drive home seemed to only last for seconds, but as soon as I was inside and in the safety of my bedroom, nothing stopped the flow of tears that finally came cascading down my face. I sobbed. And I sobbed hard. After everything that we had been through, after everything that A had put me through, this was the last thing I expected.

I cried for what felt like hours, and it probably was, so when I checked the time and realized my parents would be home soon, I knew I needed to leave the house. If they saw me like this, they'd ask questions, questions that, I couldn't give them answers to.

So I went to the only place that seemed right.