Angel of Light (A Zak Bagans Story)

Chapter 12: Real Zak Bagans

Chapter 12: Real Zak Bagans

Zak's Point of View

You're an idiot Zak, I thought.

I had tried pushing Alicia too hard to open up about her experiences again. And as to be expected, I had upset her.

When she pushed my hands away and vented her emotions to me, I felt like I had run smack into a brick wall.

Had I really been acting that way? Treating her as if she were just another guest on our show?

Quickly thinking back on my actions, I realized she was right - I had been acting like "Investigator Zak Bagans", as she put it.

I felt horrible. I hadn't meant to treat her that way.

I knew now that whatever experiences she was having with the paranormal were deeply personal. I truly just wanted to help her. I wanted to know what she was experiencing, so when we went out to do our investigations, I would have that insider information about what might be too much for her to handle. The information I needed to keep her safe from her activity becoming worse, or developing attachments, especially dark ones.

I'd never forgive myself.

Then she had pushed past me and started to walk away, and I knew if I let her walk away now, I would "lose" her forever. Not that she was mine, but I felt that we had some sort of bond between us.

Regardless of what that bond turned out to be, I couldn't lose it. So I did the only thing I could think of.

I used my strength to pull her back to me, literally, and held her against me. I realized at that moment she could of yelled out for help, accuse me of assault, which really, it could have been.

But she started to relax against me as I talked. As I explained the reason for my behaviour.

Then I decided to do something I rarely did anymore, with anyone.

Open up.

~*~*~*~*~

"How about I open up a bit, and share something with you?" I asked softly.

Alicia nodded.

"Alright..." she replied.

I could sense she was nervous.

I lightly rubbed my thumbs over the top of her hands to try to reassure her. I wondered briefly why she hadn't turned around to face me. Maybe she was feeling the same thing I was. It felt easier to open up to her while not having to look into those beautiful, yet haunted, eyes of hers.

Maybe eventually we'd reach a point where we could face each other. But for right now, it felt easier this way. She had started to cry when I upset her. I didn't want to face the tears I had caused. And I knew she probably didn't want to face me with a tear stained face.

I tried to gather my thoughts so I could tell her how I was feeling about us. Yes, even though we barely knew each other, there was some sort of connection there. One I had found comforting.

One I had never felt before.

Suddenly, the music blasting throughout the club distracted my thoughts.

It was then I realized my song choice had long since ended.

One, or maybe even two songs having since passed, but this song I recognized.

"Night Like This" by Shawn Desman.

Not exactly my preferred music style, but considering my current position with this beautiful woman, I wasn't about to complain. If this was Billy's doing, I owed him.