Why Not Live?

Chapter Two - Acute Myeloid Luekemia

Charly POV

Charly can’t help but smile as she walks away from the gaping Nathan Blake.  She can feel his gaze on her back until she enters the tree line on the opposite side of the play ground from the bench on which he is sitting.

            She walks with her hands in the pockets of her jacket.  He really was quite a good looking man.  He had messy, shaggy dark brown hair, the same color as his sister. And his eyes were a deep brown, and though they were the same color as his sisters, they seemed different. Where hers were gentle and understanding, his were hard and guarded.  She had decided not two minutes after seeing them that she was going to have to change that.  She would dig out those secrets hidden in those brown depths if it was the last thing she did.

            She laughed at the irony of that.  It very well could be the last thing she did.

            She sighed and sat down on a bench positioned beside the sidewalk and closed her eyes.  She could hear the relaxing sound of the birds singing their carefree song.

            “Acute Myeloid Leukemia.”

            The doctors words repeated over and over in Charly’s mind as she stared at the white walls of Dr. Walsh’s office. She could barely hear him as he explained what it meant and went on about options and treatment. Cancer. How can I have cancer? Were the only coherent thoughts running through her head.

            She had come to the doctor a week ago for what she had thought was a bad case of the flu that she couldn’t get rid of.  Only to be called back a week later with grave news.  Charly Reed has cancer at the young age of 22.  Only 22 years of life and it could already be coming to an end.

            Dr. Walsh started on about radiation therapy when she managed to speak.  “No,” was the only word she was able to get out through her immobile lips. She couldn’t stand the thought of any of it.  Injections and transplants with weird side affects.

            Dr. Walsh looked uncomfortable as he pushed his black rimmed glasses higher onto his broad nose and cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, but what do you mean ‘no’?” He asked.

            “I mean I won’t do it.  No treatments, no injections, no staying in a hospital for weeks on end. And no radiation therapy. I can’t do that, I won’t.”  She firmly stated.

            Dr. Walsh now looked shocked.  His hand froze midway through fixing his already perfectly fixed salt and pepper hair.  “Ms. Reed,” he stuttered, “I don’t think you understand how server this is.  The type of cancer you have, well it’s quite aggressive.  Without immediate treatment, well, I’d give you,” he gaped momentarily, grasping for an answer, “less than a year before the cancer runs its full course.”

            Charly closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths.  “I understand, Dr. Walsh.” Her own voice surprised her with how steady it was, when in fact she was shaking.

            He breathed out a frustrated sigh, his eyes becoming soft behind the thick lenses of his glasses.  “Ms. Reed,” he said gently, “I know you’re scared, and I know this is a lot to take in, but you really need to understand what we’re facing here. We have to start some kind of treatment immediately. If you don’t want to do radiation therapy, there are other options—“

            “Dr. Walsh, I’ve made my decision. I’m not going to live out however much time I have left suffering through the side affects of these treatments.  I want to live with the time I have left.”

            He smiles sadly at her, “I understand, Ms. Reed.”  He reached for a doctor’s prescription pad, holding up his hand when she started to protest, “I’m prescribing you some pain killers that will help assuage the pain and keep you feeling as good as possible.  You need to take on a healthier diet, I have a pamphlet to give you for that. And keep a healthy exercise routine.  There will be times as AML progresses when you’re going to feel extremely tired and weak, but keeping active for as long as possible will help you.”

            Charly watched Dr. Walsh tear the doctor’s note off of the pad and reach behind him, picking out a few choice pamphlets from the shelf behind him. “Thank you, Dr. Walsh.” She said, giving him a small smile.

            He turned around, handing her a small stack of pamphlets and papers. “Of course, Ms. Reed.”

            “Charly, please, Doctor.” She said as he watched her with sad eyes.

            “Charly,” He said her name like a bitter- sweet thought.  “If you happen to change your mind, my card is in there, and I’ve written the number to my direct phone line on the back.  There’s also the number of a specialist in there, Dr. Kelmer.  He’s brilliant.”

            “Thank you, Dr. Walsh—“

            “Oh, no. If I’m to call you Charly then I must insist you call me Alex.” He said, pleasantly.

            She couldn’t help but widen her small smile a little, nodding her head as she stood from her chair across from him.  He followed her movements and stood up as well.

            “Thank you, Alex,” She said warmly, extending her hand, he took it in his and shook it.

            “Are you sure this is what you want, Ms. R—Charly?” He asked, his eyes sad again.

            She leaned across the desk and took him by surprise as she kissed him lightly on the cheek.  Smiling as he blinked his eyes at her with a look of surprise.  She released his hand and picked her purse up off the ground as she turned towards the door, throwing the answer to his question carelessly over her shoulder.  “If I only have so little time left, Alex, why not live?”

            She could feel his eyes follow her as she walked out the door and headed down the hallway, heading towards the rest of her life, bound and determined to leave her mark.    

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Sorry for the short update! I really just wanted to get Charly's diagnosis part in there and then it seemed like a good place to end.  I'll try to update again maybe some time today since this one was so short. No guarantees though!

Thanks so much to anyone who read this when I posted it! I think I got about 13 reads right after I posted it. VOTES AND COMMENTS WOULD BE GREATLY APPRIECIATED. Knowing people like the story so far is great motivation for me to write more.

-emerlyann