Playlist Love (A Caspar Lee Fanfiction)

Chapter 19

* Summer's POV *

"CASPAR?" I yelled, cupping my hands round my mouth to increase the volume. I had run out to the front of the building to catch up to Caspar before anything serious happened. "CASPAR PLEASE. WHERE ARE YOU?" A wave of panic rushed through my body, but then I spotted a flash of dirty blonde hair heading down towards the beach. I started running again in the same direction, a little faster than last time. It was getting slightly darker as it was around 5ish in the evening. Wow had we really been in there for that long? Wait, now's not the time to be thinking about that. I pumped my legs faster, slowly gaining on him. We were now on the beach, so running on sand made things a bit more difficult. He began to slow down, so I did the same, leaving some distance as he collapsed onto the sand into a defeated heap. His legs came up to his chest, head buried into them and I could see him violently shaking. My heart felt like it was shattering into pieces. I had done this. I had unintentionally turned the always happy Caspar Lee into a sobbing catastrophe. I gave him a couple of minutes to calm down and for me to catch my breathe back. My calves were burning as I had never been that much of a strong runner. Standing there, I watched his back rise and fall with his breathing until it slowly calmed into a less eratic rhythm. His head slowly raised to look out towards the sea. I cautiously stepped forward, until I was stood right next to where he was sitting. I lowered myself to a sitting position, crossing my legs.

"Caspar." I whispered.

"Go away." he mumbled.

"Please just let me explain."

"Just leave it Summer, okay. It doesn't matter." his voice raising.

"It does matter!" I replied.

"Not to you! You clearly don't care about me!" he said, forcing himself to his feet. He was now looking down at me. "It's always been him, hasn't it? It's always been Alfie." This time I rose to my feet.

"No Caspar, it's not like that."

"THEN WHAT IS IT SUMMER? WHAT? YOU CAN'T TELL ME THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN. THE WHOLE FUCKING PLACE JUST SAW IT! YOU CAN'T DENY IT. JUST TELL ME YOU LOVE HIM AND LEAVE!" he was shouting now, the hurt in his voice obvious.

"If you saw what happened after the video stopped recording, you'd know it was a mistake!" I tried staying calm. 

"Don't bullshit me Summer." he said, turning his face away from me.

"Caspar please! I thought I felt something for Alfie, I really did." He scoffed under his breath. "But I was wrong. It's you, Caspar. You're the one I have feelings for."

"STOP LYING TO ME!" he yelled once again. I felt the tears pricking the corners of my eyes. I'd never felt like this before. I was so scared. This didn't feel real, this can't be happening.

"I'm not lying to you Caspar! When he kissed me - "

"I don't need the details." I could really feel myself losing my patience. I couldn't hold it in anymore, I needed him to listen.

"JUST FUCKING LISTEN TO ME! WHEN HE KISSED ME I FELT NOTHING. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. AND DO YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE I LIKE YOU CASPAR. YOU. NOT ALFIE....you." I stepped closer as his face turned round to meet mine. His eyes had a completely different shade than I'd ever seen. 

"Really?" he asked, in such a quiet voice I almost didn't hear it.

"Really." I nodded in confirmation. His face relaxed and it was almost as if he was having an inner debate with himself. After a few minutes he said;

"I don't believe you." my heart dropped.

"Are you serious?! How can you not believe me Caspar?!" I spoke in disbelief.

"I'm sorry it's just....the way you two are. It's too...real for you to not like each other like that." he sounded so sad and alone that I just wanted to wrap my arms around him and tell him it's okay. But I couldn't do that.

"Caspar, Alfie and I we're...we're just good friends. Honestly. The video you saw-"

"Everyone saw." he 'corrected' me.

"Everyone saw," I continued, "we were just caught up in the moment. It meant nothing to either of us." Okay, so that wasn't strictly true, it meant something to Alfie, but I can't ruin everything now.

"I don't know Summer I-" I cut him off by grabbing his hand and placing it on my chest, above my heart.

"You feel that?" his eyes glued to where my hand was placed over his, the beating of my heart a little faster that normal. "That's what you do to me, Caspar. Whenever I'm around you that happens."

"You're probably just tired from running out here." he smiled, trying to break the tension. I softly laughed, seeing a glimpse of the old Caspar coming back. Before I could speak again, his hand was now grasping mine which was placed on his chest.

"I on the other hand, had enough rest and this is what you do to me." I felt his heart beating the same pace as mine, knowing he felt the same. "Summer, from the moment I laid eyes on you, I felt something. I wasn't sure what it was, but it was something." At that point, the tears that were forming in my eyes had escaped and were rolling down my cheeks. Caspar moved his hand from mine and placed it on the side of my face, his thumb swiping away the stray liquid, my skin tingling at his touch. We both stayed quite for a a while, taking in everything that had just happened. Subconsciously, we had been moving closer to each other, until our bodies were almost touching. Caspar's hand had remained on my face, our eyes locking. He moved forward, softly pressing his lips to mine. My eyes slowly closed shut as I returned the kiss. There it was. The fireworks. The butterflies. Everything that had been missing from Alfie was here, with Caspar. It wasn't a desperate, messy kiss, it was a slow, passionate kiss, almost as if we were putting all of our hidden feelings into it and savouring the moment. My hands had found their way to his waist, both of his on the sides of my face, unwilling to let me go anytime soon. But that didn't matter. I had finally felt what I'd been waiting for for so long. The kiss lasted a few minutes, although I never wanted it to end. We finally broke away, remaining close in contact. Our foreheads were lightly pressed together and I opened my eyes to find Caspar's staring straight into mine. 

"Hi." I smiled.

"Hey." he smiled back, giving me a small peck on my nose. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that."

I said nothing, but wrapped my arms fully around his waist, pulling him towards me in a hug. His arms came down, around my shoulders in a protective, yet comforting, way. I buried my face in his neck, inhaling his aftershave. He placed a small kiss on the top of my head, then I slowly moved back.

"Listen, whatever happens after this, whatever happens between us, we CANNOT tell Marcus. You saw how mental he went with Alfie and I don't want that to happen to you." I spoke seriously. Marcus was rather protective over me and I knew what lengths he would go to to make sure I was safe and happy. Caspar nodded. "You promise?"

"I promise." he replied. I let out a deep sigh of relief and Caspar grabbed my hand, entwining our fingers. We began walking back up the beach, a peaceful silence surrounding us.

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Okay I'm kind of in love with this chapter. 

I really really hope you guys like it too! It took me a while to get this right so :3

I LOVE YOU ALL.

- Jazz - x

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