don't let me get me

first

It was another sleepless night for Dylan. He just laid in his bed, staring at the ceiling. He had been crying. All he seemed to do lately was cry. He was having another nightmare about the finals. It was hardly a nightmare really relating to the game, but more a reminder that he wasn't with Connor anymore.

In his nightmare, Connor just kept skating further away and he wouldn't stop. Dylan couldn't believe how hard he was taking this still, after a year. But then again, maybe he could.

Connor had been his backbone for years now, and they had done everything together, and it wasn't like he only had Connor gone from his everyday life, he felt like he had no one anymore. And he needed Connor for that support. Matty wouldn't be home whenever he went now, he already missed Ryan like crazy, and now Connor was going away, and so was Alli. And he didn't have Kara.

He felt disgusted even thinking of her after what she'd done to him. He felt like an idiot because of her.He thought back on the lies she had told him.

Before she left when she came to visit him in Erie, and she told him he was her one and only.

She was talking to Mitch then. Maybe not at that exact moment, but she had been. She was playing Dylan and he was too stupid to realize because he loved her so much.

He got her on the team bus to come to all their playoff games, and she was still thinking of Mitch the entire time. Dylan was devastated because he knew how sad Connor was feeling, and Kara was still only concerned about number one. Herself.

It seemed Kara was always only concerned about herself. Looking back at it, the relationship was always about what she wanted, if it even was a relationship. She tried to come for Dylan when he was talking to other girls, but the second she asked him not to, he didn't. He cared for her more than anyone. But she wasn't capable of that. She was a narcissist.

He brought her to the draft, not having any idea that everyone besides him knew she had been fucking Mitch too. He couldn't blame anyone but Kara. Well, he could blame Mitch, but Mitch had taken responsibility for what he'd done. Kara hadn't. Kara didn't seem to care about the damage she had done to Dylan whatsoever. She hadn't even thought of how mortifying it was for him to walk around, showing her off, when she was fucking him over.

And he thought she really loved him when she cried after his name was called. But it was an act. Everything with Kara was an act.

Dylan's head ended up in the toilet.

Thinking about this made him physically ill.

Kara had told Mitch she wasn't with Dylan after she had begged him not to leave her. Dylan had gone on with his days, talking about the girl he loved with all his heart, only to find out he wasn't her only one. It would make anyone sick.

He sat against the tub with his head in his hands, crying. He cried until he made himself sick. He was so over crying. Especially about Kara. But he was hurt. She had really done a number on him, and it was gonna take some time before he was really okay.

One thing he thought about a lot was how bad Mitch had felt afterwards. Mitch actually told Dylan to kick his ass. But Dylan wasn't ever actually upset with Mitch, because who was Dylan to say if Mitch had never felt the same about Kara? She was manipulative and addictive. Dylan knew that first hand.

And then she tried to make it Dylan's fault. Like he caused her to do that by not giving her a title. That was the manipulation she was unbelievably good at. And she got Dylan and Mitch fighting, literally, which should've been the last straw. But Dyl was dumb and in love.

Their break up had been harsh, but needed. And when Kara said that shit to Allison, saying she had followed Connor, Dylan was glad it was over.

But he still missed her.

He grabbed his phone and scrolled through his contacts. He clicked one open, then pressed call. It rang twice.

"I know it's late, but can I come over?" He bit his lip. "I need, someone."

There was some shuffling before a throat was cleared. "Yeah, of course, Dyl. I'll wait for you in the living room." Allison said in a groggy voice through Connor's phone.

"Give me an hour-ish." Dylan said before he hung up.