Allison went back over to Connor and Dylan cheered for the next song. Chase did some talking about his next song before his band started playing the cords. Dylan felt his chest tightening when he recognized the song. He felt trapped suddenly.
He turned from the stage and broke through the crowd right away. Everything felt dizzy. But he knew what it was. He was having a panic attack. He could hear 'Gonna Wanna Tonight' playing and it wasn't helping. He finally got to the back of the crowd and puked everywhere. Some girls screamed when he did but he just ignored them.
He threw his beer in the nearest garbage can as he staggered past it. He managed to stagger all the way back to their site. He crawled into the tent, curled into a ball, and bawled his eyes out.
Once he calmed down, he sat up. He turned on the lantern in the tent and changed into his pajamas. He was still crying. He heard someone outside and tried to quiet down.
"Dyl?" He heard Alli call out.
"Uh, yeah." He wiped his face then cleared his throat.
Wiping the tears was no use since he just continued to cry. He ducked his head as he heard the tent unzipping.
"You're missing Chase Rice! What's going on?" She asked, plopping down beside him.
He looked up at her frowning. He saw her take in his state before her face fell. She frowned in return and then pulled him into a hug. His hat fell off but he didn't care, he just needed to cry to someone. She stroked his hair to keep him calm while he just cried into her chest. And it was a hard, ugly, sob filled cry. Allison just sat there and comforted him.
He felt like his lungs were collapsing but he knew he needed to explain. He took a gasping breath, sitting up so she'd be able to understand him.
"That was our song." He breathed. "I used to always sing that to her. 'Let your red lips leave their mark all over mine' was her favourite line and she j-" He started shaking his head. "This isn't how it was supposed to be!"
He watched her eyes water. "Dylan-"
"I was supposed to win a gold this year, and a Mem cup, and Connor was supposed to have the perfect rookie season, and you two were supposed to be happy in Edmonton, and Kare and I were gonna be happy here!" He rambled on, mainly to himself.
"It's not that bad." She tried to calm him down, rubbing his back.
"I lost in quarterfinals, we didn't even get the O cup, Connor broke his collarbone, and Kare and I? She broke my heart. She crushed me." He was crying again as he sat up more. "I'm a good guy, right, Alli?"
She nodded, tears rolling down her face. "You're a great guy, Dylan." She squeezed his hand.
He swallowed hard, getting choked up. "Then when's my fucking break?" He nearly whispered.
Dylan watched Allison break and start to cry harder. He hugged her this time. Once he felt calmer, he laid down with his back to Allison. She was tracing shapes on his back, running her fingers up and down his spine. It was comforting for him. Allison was always comforting him and he appreciated her so much for that.
He woke up later to yelling and the sound of the tent zipper. He looked around the tent and saw he was alone. He listened to the arguing.
It was about him. He could hear Connor repeatedly saying his nickname. He went to open the tent but Mitch beat him to it. He shook his head, climbing in.
"Davey is convinced you and Al were doing shit back here. Let her talk to him." Mitch explained.
"Does he really think that little of me?" Dylan chuckled.
But more importantly, that little of Alli? He knew she would be able to handle this.
"What happened to you?" Mitch asked as he yanked off his shirt.
"I had an attack." Dylan swallowed.
"Why didn't you s-"
"I just wanted to come back and I didn't wanna ruin the night for anyone." He stopped him.
Mitch just hugged him. He didn't say anything else, he just pulled Dylan into a bone crushing hug. Dylan could've cried again. This was a moment for him and Mitch.
"It wouldn't have ruined my night. You're my best friend, Stromer, I'm here for you always." Mitch spoke sternly.
"Thanks, Marns." Dylan smiled, patting his back.
Mitch pulled away and got comfortable beside Dylan. "You're not getting rid of me, kid." He shot him a toothy grin.
Dylan laid down as well. Mitch always cuddled into his side, it was whatever. Dylan couldn't sleep as easily as Mitch could. He listened to the arguing outside.
From what he could hear, all the guys were trying to calm Connor down. He couldn't make anything out but he could kind of understand.
"You and Stromer finish up?"
He cringed at that. Connor was being a real ass. He heard Alli mumbled something.
"Go back to him! I'll sleep in my car so I don't disrupt you!"
Dylan just shook his head. He heard Alli mumble again. He heard heavy footsteps then what seemed to be Connor's car doors opening. Lighter footsteps made their way over.
"Can we talk please?" Allison whispered, but Dylan heard.
There were no more words, just the sound of Connor's car door closing. Dylan felt better a little while later when he heard what sounded like some decent car sex. He knew they'd be okay and now he could sleep.
YOU ARE READING
don't let me get me
Fanfictionbut he had one question... when was it more than just "being sad"?