Remembering Him

26.

I sit on my bed and stare at my cork board that has pictures of me and Max on them.
I look at the printer sitting on my desk and get up then connect my phone to the printer and print a few recent selfies of Max and I.
I look at one of the videos again and smile at the part where Max isn't looking at the camera, then he does and mouths I love her.
I cut out the pictures and pin them up on my cork board then open my laptop.
I haven't touched this thing in forever.
I log into Wattpad (OH GOD NO THE FOURTH WALL IS BREAKING HELP) and immediately spot multiple fanfics for Max and I, a few having less reads than others.
I scroll through them and add one to my reading list.
I'll read it later.
I turn off my phone then sigh and run a hand through my hair.
I look down at my phone and notice multiple texts from random numbers.
Kill yourself you ugly hoe.
Everything would be better without you.
Go cut your wrists.
Hang yourself stupid bitch
Go to hell
I doubt anyone really loves you.
I stare at the texts that are still flooding in then spot one that stings.
You know you're fat, right? You should go die. Nobody wants your dumb fat ass in their life.
I drop my phone and run to the bathroom then quickly break my razor then stare at one of the little metal blades in between my thumb and index finger.

!!!TRIGGER WARNING!!!

I slowly drag the little blade across my skin, little beads of blood slowly forming.
I continue. Again and again. It's addicting.
I make sure the cuts are at least an inch apart.
When I'm done, the pain in my heart is gone and my forearm (elbow to wrist) is covered in little cuts and blood coming out of the cuts and running down my arm.
I turn on the sink water and run it over my arm.
I feel tears forming in my eyes.
Go kill yourself. Maybe I will.
Stupid fat ass. Maybe I am.
I watch as the blood runs down the drain and look at the little marks on my arm.
I stare at them for a moment before removing my wrist from the water and walking back to my room then slipping on a baggy sweater.
I return to the bathroom then pick up my razors, (she put in her contacts when she got home btw) and put them in my hoodie then quickly clean up the blood from the floor and go back to my room then lay down, curled up in my bed, jumping each time my phone goes off because I just know each time that ding goes off, it's another person telling me to kill myself or something like that.
I stare at my phone. The dinging stopped about ten, fifteen minutes ago. My eyes are tear stained. And now there's a frantic knock on the apartment door.
"Jackson! Get the door!" I shout.
"It's always me, now, huh?!" He shouts back.
"Don't whine you oversized baby!" I shout and watch as he walks by my bedroom door and flips me off.
I flip him off as well and stare at my wall, then hug a pillow to my chest.
I hear muffled voices talking and a few seconds later, a ginger walks in and I quickly wipe my tears from my face.
"Max what are you-"
"Were you not getting my texts?" He asks and glances at my phone.
I furrow my eyebrows a bit and open my mouth to say something but Max presses the home button on my phone and seems to see one or two of the hate texts. "Cass?"
I look at him as he looks over at me.
"Let me see your wrists," he says and walks over to me then kneels in front of me.
"I.."
"Cass." He says firmly and looks at me in the eyes.
I stare at him for a few seconds before looking down at my arm, taking the end of the sleeve and slowly pulling it up to reveal the little red cuts that will eventually turn to pink, and then to white.
"Why?" He whispers, gently taking my arm in one of his hands.
I stay silent for a few seconds, staring at my arm. "They.. Pushed me to do it." I whisper, and cringe remembering he hates when he realizes people cut.
He's hated it since we were both in high school.
I slowly pull my arm away and roll my sleeve back down.
"If you want to leave you can." I whisper and look at him.
A shocked expression crosses his face.
I blink a couple of times and look away. "I know how much you didn't like it when you found out people cut-"
"Cass. I made a promise. And I'm going to keep that promise." Max interrupts and I look up at him.
"Really-?" I ask softly.
"Of course," he says and gently kisses me. "Cass, I love you. So much. All of your flaws. Everything. You're perfect." He says and gently kisses me again.
I smile a bit when he pulls away, breaking the kiss.
He gently glides a thumb over my bottom lip and smiles softly. "I love you Cass. Don't forget that." He whispers and pulls me into a hug which I immediately melt into and hug him back.

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Double post. Oops. So guys this actually might become a three book series? XD sorry .///.