Decay In Her Bones

CHAPTER 24

Acknowledging one's sins in the Sacrament of Reconciliation seems like a very difficult thing to do. First, we are not directly related to the priest presiding the confession. We don't actually know them in an acquaintance basis, since they're not the type of people whom we talk to every day. Second, we are assured that the things we confess are protected by their vow of secrecy. Even if you tell the priest about your plot of planting a bomb in the church immediately after confession, he cannot do anything about it. Lastly, our sole purpose is to ask for forgiveness. As Catholics we know that priests aren't there to shame as, but to become a mediator in order for us to achieve reconciliation from God. Opposing ideas would then tell us: is it necessary? Is there a need for this kind of sacrament? If we have sinned against our neighbor or against God, why can't we just direct the apology to whom we have inflicted an unlawful action, or pray and simply talk to God since He is said to be ever forgiving? Doesn't God know it if we are sorry?

These were the questions that resided in Bobby's thoughts while they were quietly sitting inside Veritas Hall waiting for their turns. In the Theology course that basically specialized on the sacraments, they were taught about the importance of each, their functions, and relevance. He also knew well how confessions served as a concrete representation of God's gift in a down-to-Earth manner. Still, there were shame and guilt colonizing Bobby's emotions as the students in their row vanished one by one.

Simultaneously, he also recounted all the sins he had committed ever since his last good confession, which was, he thought, some three years ago. His list was getting longer by the minute.

Still, Bobby was certain of one particular sin which he really wanted to confess, but was afraid to do so.

The guilt he had been feeling in connection with this occurrence was beyond measure ― almost levelled with the degree of murder. Bobby was aware that he did things which were against the Ten Commandments, but this specific item topped his list. Too great it was, he was still fighting the urge not to include it in his confession, simply because he could not find the courage to admit it. At times he would even close his barriers whenever the memory of it was trying to infiltrate his thoughts. What was making the feeling of remorse worse was that, it was beyond his intention; it just happened.

In the end, he decided that he would confess it.

Bobby returned to the present when he felt Mylene rising from her seat. Without a word, she coursed her way through the maze of chairs and passed along rows of students who were praying with closed eyes. Bobby followed her with his gaze until she vanished behind a wall at one end of the room. There were four priests stationed on different areas and Bobby's heart skipped a beat when he realized that he was next.

Mylene had not returned yet when one of the Theology professors signalled Bobby, indicating his turn. He was led to a designated station different from where Mylene went.

When he arrived, he saw the priest seated on a white monoblock chair. A purple stole wrapped itself around his shoulders and hanged on either sides of his black polo; it looked unusual with the absence of the alb. His skin was wrinkled especially on the face. The color of snow dominated the hair on his head, including his thin eyebrows that rested on top of two grey eyes. A curtain of greeneries surrounded his area, emphasizing his white figure.

Bobby approached the empty chair beside him while the priest waited for him with a weak smile. He slowly occupied it and uttered in a very soft voice, "Bless me father for I have sinned. My last good confession was in..."

After Bobby had recited the prayers tasked to him by the priest who heard his confession, he excused himself from the group when he felt the need to go to the restroom. On his way, he was met by Mr. Bernadas as he was trudging along a corridor to the right side of Veritas Hall. He stood there with the rest of the Theology professors, alongside the staffs of Religious Affairs who were patiently waiting for the remaining students to finish their confession. As Bobby approached the corridor, Mr. Bernadas called his name and signalled him to come over. "Vitug," he said.