Chapter 10: Amber's POV
Chapter playlist
•Let her go - Passenger
•With or without you - U2
•Never say never - The Fray
(Listen in this order)
The streets are a lot darker than I remember. The shadows are bigger. The quiet overruling my senses. My footsteps sound like crashes through the seemingly empty allys. The few cars that drive past cast a light through the street but it never lasts.
He's not coming for you Amber.
He meant it. You're not welcome, you're not wanted, you're not needed.
It's my fault that I thought I was more. He was just letting you stay at his apartment.
I don't know where I'm going. I don't know where I'll end, or when I'll stop walking and turn around. I don't know. Macy made it clear that she didn't want me asking to stay any time soon. Tara lives miles away. And I have no other friends except for them, and family is not an option.
My apartment might have to become an option.
It's only two in the morning, so coffee shops won't be open for hours. I should just call Niall. It's extremely cold and all I have on is a sweatshirt and jeans. My hands hover over Niall's contact, internally battling whether or not to press call.
A car slowly passed by, headlights illuminating the streets. I cringe at the lights, and walk the other way. I don't know if I'm going forward or back, or if I'm just going in circles.
Just call him.
Another car passes, the sudden light letting me know I'm walking closer and closer to my apartment. I've only walked a block, that or I've been walking in circles for what feels like hours. I'll pay the consequences if I go back to my apartment, but what other choice do I have? I forgot to grab money, so I can't stay at a hotel. I bite my lip in attempt to keep from crying.
I just want to be with Niall. Why did he make me leave? I thought after what happened he...no. No Amber. He doesn't love you.
And you don't love him.
But I miss him. I already miss him. His laugh and his smile. The roughness of his hands but how they feel so smooth when they're in my hand. The way he can look at me as if I'm the only person in the world. The way he yells at me and his vain starts to show through his forehead. The way he gets so involved in movies. How he holds onto me and doesn't try to pull away. How he makes me feel safe.
He makes me feel wanted, he makes me feel loved. Even if it isn't love we are sharing.
If he loved you why are you wandering around the streets alone? Why is he not coming for you?
My phone suddenly starts buzzing and I look down to see Niall's calling. Oh. As I decide whether or not to answer, the phone stops buzzing and the screen turns dark.
Why did he just call me? Why isn't he coming for me?
I come upon my street, and my heart starts beating so hard I think it might explode.
Just call him back. I basically confessed my love for him to myself, so how am I too afraid to call him back? Maybe because I'm afraid of what he'll have to say.
I begin walking up the few steps that lead to my apartment door, my hand gripping the doorknob.
Just call Niall back, Amber.
One hand on my phone and the other on the doorknob, an internal civil war.
My phone starts to buzz again, and Niall's name shows.
YOU ARE READING
Restrained
FanfictionAmber remembers nothing that happened that Sunday night. But when she meets Niall Horan he says he was there. Amber wants nothing to do with Niall. She doesn't like him, and she barley tolerates him. When Niall pushes himself in her life, will Amber...
