Tales From a Guild Member

Buyer's Remorse - A Friend's Story

"The screaming ... why the incessant screaming ... where is it even coming from?" Ray could barely think to himself as he started to get up.
The only thing worse than the screaming was the hangover.
Roz was still asleep next to him, clearly not over her own hangover.
"Ugh ... it's your turn to feed 'em again" was all she could mutter before going back to sleep.
Ray eventually turned his gaze to a pair of eyes staring very intently at him. Now he was certain where the cries of hunger were coming from. "Again? There was a first time?"
He eventually managed to drag himself out of bed, carefully picked up the hungry bundle, and just as carefully made his way downstairs.
He tried to remember how he ended up with his little bundle of joy, but the previous day was still a haze.

As he passed through the parlor, he saw a passed out Link and two dwarves, with bottles and mugs all around them. The stench of the different alcohols was all too intense.
Empty glasses of beer and a few bottles labeled wine, gin, and whiskey. A keg of dwarven stout ... wait ... a stronger whiff ... mature dwarven stout.
As he moved into the dining room, a few of the locals from Gunnarsgrun were in just as much of a drunken stupor, asleep on the table. One of the larger ones, drooling, and muttering something about "giant hairy cabbages".
Empty kegs of beer, glasses with the stench of Wizard Mind Bombs, Asgarnian Ale, and Drunk Dragons littered the floor and table.

A few bits of yesterday started to come back to him.
The night started innocent enough. A few beers and stories at the Blue Moon Inn with Roz, Link, and those smelly barbarians. Then a few dwarves came in with that keg of stout. Then from there ... what? They all made it to the Falador Lodestone and then the Rising Sun. Then where?

The pair of eyes looked back at him, hungrier than before. The screaming in the back of his head was not helping his hangover.
"Alright! Alright!! I know! I know! I'm looking for something in the blasted house to give you. What am I supposed to feed you anyways?"
The blank stares were not giving him much of an answer.
Daemonheim. Somehow Daemonheim kept popping into his mind, along with this awful feeling of trying very hard not to die.
But yes. While he couldn't recall every detail, the stories shifted to their own sorties into Daemonheim. Running through frigid or collapsing halls. Slaying weird creatures. Roz had brought up how they were saving up so they could even purchase their own Chaotic equipment. They weren't quite there, but they were close.
Then he remembered Link ... Link had left to get 'something'. When he came back, he had in his hands some bottles. The whole party opened them up, and ... whatever it was ... was some powerful type of 'rum'.
His memory became hazy from that point, though he did seem to remember the whole party was a little reluctant to drink the stuff.

*Again with the screaming?!?! You want nothing from the pantry. I have nothing in the pantry. By Guthix, what am I supposed to feed you? At this rate I'm going to have to feed you from outside!"
Only then, when staring again into the deep gaze of those eyes seemed to bring back to Ray the rest of what happened.
"Oy, show us those fancy k-rot-ick things you keep yammering about" from a dwarf.
"Aye yeah!"

"We told you, we don't have em yet."
"Aw comish on-z, we wants to sheesh them"
"I *hic* said, we don't *hic* have them."
"Thens gets ones and thens yush can show them."
Roz and Ray drunkenly looked at each other, smiled, and shrugged an 'ok'
The whole party managed to somehow stumble their way to Daemonheim. The rewards trader was just as shocked as usual.
Ray pried into him, trying to buy any of the chaotic weapons, but the trader meekly told him that there was not enough on his account to buy one. Same for Roz.
Roz stepped in, and in her drunken state, tried to flirt her way to buying one, but the poor trader seemed to be even more scarred from that encounter than anything he met in Daemonheim.
Not wanting to let down their following, they finally asked what they could afford. The trader indicated while they couldn't buy chaotic gear, he did point to the next most expensive things they could buy.
Once again, the two drunkenly smiled at each other, and in unison "I'll take one."

"I swear ... why do I have to feed you like the rest of the animals?"
The two eyes just stared back at him. The cries of hunger were gone, and that was the only relief Ray would now get.
Then one seemed to puff up then come back down, just to show how happy it was.
"Yeah yeah, I'm happy that you're happy." But as he put his head to his hand, "now we have to start all over."