Lost in a Dream

We're going in circles again and again

I look at who is beside me, Ashton, but he is fully clothed, so why am I undressed? I try not to cause any commotion with him, so I quietly get out of the bed to figure out where my clothes are so I can put them on and leave. But just as I was standing up, I hear Ashton say a quiet "Good morning" in his deep morning voice. I've been caught. "Hey, Ash. I was just trying to find my clothes..." now, WHERE WERE THEY? "They're downstairs in the dryer. I put them in last night, so they should be done." Why would he have to put them in the dryer, if we did what I thought last night? "Oh. Thanks. Ashton?" I was becoming really confused. "Yes, Avery?" I don't want to sound rude, but I'll just ask. "Um. What exactly happened last night?" please don't be what I thought. I'm mean sure he's cool and all, but I'm just not up for it at the moment. "Oh. You don't remember? Well, last night, you jumped into the pool at Jason's house fully clothed, so you were sopping wet, and it was really cold outside so we went inside. When we were inside, I realized how completely wasted you were, and you tried to drive home but I stopped yo. I decided that I would take you back to my house since I lived closer and let you rest there. I put your clothes in the dryer because they were still wet. I am sorry for not getting you any more clothes by the way, you were asleep before I realized it." I felt so much better hearing that. "But what about Madison and Lacey?" I had to act a little worried. "They didn't drink at all last night, they met some guys, but left the guys and drove your car home and I'm guessing they stayed at your place." Oh. Well luckily they're safe. "Oh my gosh. I feel so much better now. I was scared. I thought they got hurt or something, and I thought you and I hooked up. Just. Wow. Good." his face started to look a little angry, what did I do? What did I say. Shit. Avery. "You seriously thought I would do that? You honestly think I'm the kind of guy who would take advantage of you while you were drunk? Is that what you want? Because I'm not. Avery. I'm just done." Of course. I fucking screwed everything up once again. Go Avery. I start bawling my eyes out. I can't believe that's what he thought. "No. Ashton! That's not what I meant! I just wasn't ready?" I should've left a while ago. "It isn't what you meant? It sure as hell sounded like it was."

I ran out the door before I could react. We just made up last night. I'M SO FUCKING STUPID. I should just learn to keep my mouth shut. As I'm running home, I pass a few couples and families who look so happy. I wish I was like that. Seeing them makes me feel worse, luckily I'm home now. My car is here. So the girls did stay here. I unlock the front door, walk around the house a little, there's no sign of Madison or Lacey. They must've left. Good. I don't want to talk to anybody or see anybody. I'm so done. Why am I still here? I start screaming to get all of the pain out. I grab the box from underneath my bed, it has all of my blades. I grab one out and go for the first cut, but someone grabs me before I have the chance. "Don't." is all I hear. It's a males voice. It's deep. Who is it? I turn around. Ashton. "WHAT. WHY HAVE YOU COME HERE?" I break down into tears and he pulls me close. He's warm and gentle. "I felt bad. I know that wasn't what you meant. I just. I was so mad. I don't even know why. Please forgive me. And promise to never do this again." he said while holding my wrist up. He kisses every cut. Every scar. Every memory. I'm glad he came back. I'm glad he followed me here. "I forgive you. And I promise. Thank you Ash. You might've just saved my life." I see a tear slide down his face, I wipe it away. "No. I saved both of our lives. Without you here, I couldn't live."

We sit in silence for a while. I finally ask, "How exactly did you get in?" I say laughing a little. "The door was locked and I knew where the spare key was. And I couldn't have let you leave again knowing we were fighting." I didn't want it like that either. "Well. Thank you for coming. I'm lucky that you're always there for me." I really was. "No problem. Now. I have to go and meet the boys for practice, would you like to come?" I didn't really want to get into that whole situation yet. Luke would be there, and Ashton would be there too. Ashton and I just made up, Luke and I haven't and I don't want to bring all of the drama along. "No thanks. I'll just stay here for the day. I think it's best." "Well alright. Call me if you need anything!" It was already 4. What time did I go to bed? I got home at 2. I'm never going to a party again. I'm never listening to what Madison and Lacey again, no matter how much fun they think I'll have. I don't even remember last night.

On second thought. I want to go to their band practice. So I text Ashton and ask where it's at.

To: Ashhh

Hey. I changed my mind. I actually do want to come. When and where?

From: Ashhh

Calum's house. 15 minutes. Bring a swimsuit. We swim after we play.

To: Ashhh

Okay. I'll be there! You guys better be good!

I knew where Calum's house was. I've been there several times before. It's only a block away. So I'll just walk.

I get to his house and knock on the door. His mom answers. "OH HI AVERY. I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OVER HERE IN FOREVER." I feel like I've heard that so much recently... "Hello Mrs.Hood. How are you?" This is really awkward. Parents are weird with me. "I'm great. How about yourself? And why are you here exactly?" "Oh. Um. I'm good. And I was invited to the boys' band practice." I don't just come over randomly... "Okay. They're all downstairs." I could already hear drums banging when I walked through the doorway. I finally make my way down the stairs. I see everybody, but Luke. Where is he?

I hear the door upstairs close, but I figured it was just Cal's mom. Someone comes up behind me and says "Hey baby." It's Luke. What has gotten into him? I guess things are all good now...

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So. Once again. Cliff hanger. And I'm sorry if it's really fast paced! Also sorry if it's too short/long. I really wanted to update. So yeah.

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