Without a Doubt

Blood and Happiness

John. My ex-best friend, fucking my ex-girlfriend. I wanted to pull out my pocket knife and throw it at him, having it strike his eye, but two things wrong with that. One, I'd go to jail for like a million years, and two, (the main reason I didn't) because I'm not that good of a throw.
The thoughts of anger burned in my head all day. I wanted to kill both of them. They thought that just because I was leaving today that everything would be fine. I was going to try and maintain a long distance relationship with Amy, but now that's fucked.
On the drive home, I wanted to drive my F150 into a lake and just drown. I almost did, but I stopped myself. When I got home the first thing I did was shuffle under my bed for my razors.
     "Hello, old friends" I whispered as my thumb traced the blade of one. "It's been a while." I pulled down my pants and traced my finger down an clean spot on my left leg. I took the blade and slid it down my leg and felt the same pain that I had been addicted to a few months ago. As the blade pierced my skin I let off a sigh of relief and the slid it down my leg, adding one more scar. As I removed the blade and picked it back up my leg to add another I heard a voice in my head. Amelia's. Telling me not to, for her. I dug the blade deeper and sliced down fast in anger.
     I had heard a clatter rushing up my stairs and quickly slid the blades back under my bed and threw the covers over my to hide the fresh wounds. It was Amy.
     "Amy?! Get the fuck out of my house!" I screamed in anger.
     "You saw?" She had whispered to me.
      "Saw what? My fucking girlfriend fucking my best friend? The end of my life? Yeah I saw" I stood up and begun to slide my pants back on, thankful it wasn't my parents.
     "Oh god. Erik, you said you wouldn't." She replied, looking at my leg.
     "Yeah I did. For you. But we are done so forget it. You should be lucky I didn't do it to my neck." I screamed at her enraged.
     "Babe?" She pleaded beggingly for me to forget about earlier.
     "What?"
     "Please? John said you left last night. He said your flight got moved up"
     Of course. John did this. I opened my mouth and walked towards her and pushed the blade back into its casing. "Listen, we're done. End of it. I wanted to try a long distance relationship but I know that if I do, you will fuck my best friend. So forget it."
     "Erik... I'm sorry... I brought you something" she pulled out a small ziplock bag that held a familiar green shape.
     "Weed?! Really?!" I laughed and shook my head in denial. "You really think that a high will fix everything? News flash, it won't."
     She seemed pissed at my response and angrily stormed off back downstairs after tossing the bag at my feet.

...

     Eight pm. Time to leave. I had gotten rid of my razors by driving an hour into the woods and dumping them. New life. Fresh start. No more blades. No more Amy. No more pain. No more Amy. No more John. But most importantly, no more Amy. I kept thinking about what had happened today and was finally relieved when I stepped into the airport.
     "New life." I sighed and my mother had noticed and nodded.
     "Yeah. It's gonna be different, but we will get used to it" she had replied, not realizing the sigh was one of relief.
     "We'll get used to it, mom." I said, trying not to seem pissed about earlier because I didn't want to tell her.
"I know sweetheart. It'll be tough but we can fight this fight" she said and I remembered the weed Amelia had left me.
"Fuck" I thought to myself. "I forgot to get rid of it"
"Mom? I'm going to go to the bathroom before we board okay?" I say rushing to the bathroom and reaching for my phone. I text Amy.
Erik: Amy? Can you do me a quick favor?
Amy: what? You want me back or some shit? Well sorry bucko not happening.
Erik: fuck no. Y'know that thing you brought me earlier? I need you to get rid of it. I forgot to. Please?
Amy: Fine. Where is it?
Erik: foot of my bed. Thanks.
I quickly tuck my phone away and rush back towards my family.