Love Again (Harry Styles)

Chapter 3

Hi, at this moment I'm reading, well, listening to 'Perks Of Being A Wallflower'. It's an audio book. It's really good. There's a movie, but I never seen it. Okay I need to stop typing because then I won't understand. Well, anyways. I hope you guys like this chapter. It's just incredibly sad. The book is too, kind of.

GIF ON THE SIDE OF HARRY--------------------->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

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~The Writer

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Harry's POV.

I sit alone in my room and just sob quietly. No one really hears me. Liam, Louis, Zayn, and Niall heard the news. I'm not sure from who but I'm glad that I didn't have to tell them. At the moment I'm not crying. I'm...numb. I don't feel happy or sad, I'm mad, yes. I just want to wake up. This isn't funny anymore. It needs to stop.

I'm convinced that this is a dream. A terrible nightmare that will soon end. Addilyn will be worried abouut me screaming in my sleep so she'll wake me up. I know she will.

Ah yes, I drink alot too. Well...since two days ago. I don't really get up unless it is to throw up, go to the bathroom or shower. And even then...what's the point in showering?

My throat becomes itchy and I cringe. I run to the bathroom and empty my guts. the only thing that was in there were alcohol. I just feel, empty, like all my emotions except pain dissapeared. Li said I should see a doctor, or a therapist. No. No. No. I would never go to a theripist because I'm not crazy.

I scrunch my nose at the taste in my mouth. I brush my teeth and go back to our room. Or my room to lie down. I cuddle the pillow that used to smell like her but now...now it smells the same as my pillows....

I clench my fists together and grit my teeth. I get like this from time to time. Sometimes I'm not sure why but I just get mad, And when I don't understand why I'm mad, I get frustrated and think of reasons why I'm mad and...most of the reasons are...well...I blame Addilyn's death. Sometimes it's my fault sometimes it's hers, sometimes it's the other drivers fault. I blame everybody who was involved. She didn't need that job, I could've paid for everything. But being stubborn her, got the job anyway. I bite my lip and scramble to find a pint. There's got to be one somewhere. I found one under the bed, it must've rolled under there. I take a swing of it and sigh. I know I've got the boys but, this is what I want to do with my life. With the money I made up until now, I could retire right now. But I know the guys will be devistated...

Talking is a thing of the past for me. I will probably sing, yes, but I don't talk much anymore. I don't have opinions about things anymore. Why should I. Who would care about them anyways? No one. I look at the television. Nothings on but I like I that way. The tv is at the end of the bed and I just stare at it. Staring at it is the only thing to do. In a way, it reflects my feelings. Just, nothing. I used to think there was no such thing as nothing. That it was just a cover up for boringness. And you can only be bored if you're a boring person. And right now I feel nothing. My eyes are heavy, dark, splotchy, dialated, and not the same green color. Instead they are more blue/gray. My lips were chaped and cracked. My mouth felt dry and my cheeks hollowed. My hair became dry and frizzy. Mostly because I haven't took a shower for days. I don't have a shirt on and I'm just wearing sweats. My hands are boney and shaking.

I hear the door open and I stay still, staring at the tv, my mouth slightly open. My expression still blank, reciprocating the tv.

"Hey Harry, mate, look what we brought you!" Louis and Niall said excitedly. Liam and Zayn followed behind them and looked at me with sorrow.