bittersweet | larry stylinson

eight | bad tidings

eight

{louis' pov}

 

It was that day. That day that I realized Harry was the only one I wanted, the only one I needed in my life to make me whole. Without him I'm just a mindless body floating in the wind.

     Harry has been getting worse it seems. I'm no doctor, but I feel like he's getting sicker and sicker, and I think the Doctor realizes that, but he also believes that Harry won't make it through this brain tumor just because theres only a small chance he will. I'm still holding on to that small chance. 

After all of this.... After everything gets better, we'd buy our own house somewhere, we'd adopt kids, we'd have a life together.. And I'm really looking forward to it, because.... it's all I've ever wanted.

     We haven't told the boys about anything that's happened yet. We've decided that it would be better if we just kept everything a secret, just until everything gets better here, and then we'll worry about everything else later.

Just like usual, Harry's parents have come and gone, so have the rest of the boys. 

Harry loves it when the boys' visit. 

Sometimes I wish they would stay longer, because I only see Harry happy like that very few times nowadays.  

     I feel like happiness is the key to getting better for Harry. He just has to find happiness in a lot of things to get better I guess.. Maybe it's not as easy as it seems.. No, I suppose not.. I'm definitely not the happiest of people. Even now, knowing that Harry loves me.

But to no shock, I'm always worrying for him. I don't think he realizes how much hurt he's in, even though he feels every bit of pain there is that comes with having a brain tumor. 

That's the funny thing about Harry, he could feel all the pain in the world, and not realize he's feeling anything at all. He tries to be so strong in his weakest states, and I can't help but feel sorry for him. 

I wish I could just hug away the pain.

***

I woke up in the small uncomfortable hospital chair next to Harry's bed, to find that Harry was watching me. And that didn't creep me out.

"Hi." I mumbled sleepily, stretching while rubbing my eyes with the back of my fingers. 

"Morning, Love." He smiled cheekily just before coughing into his hand.

"You okay?" 

"Louis, I'm fine. You don't need to worry for me whenever I cough, or sneeze." He half-smiled.

I puffed out a huge breath, turning, my back was now facing him as my eyes began to water; I didn't like him to see me cry. I wanted to stay strong; for him.

"That's just the thing, Harry..." I said quietly, but I knew he heard me.

I slowly turned, revealing my glassy eyes, just before a tear formed, streaming down my cheek.

Harry tilted his head a little, as if to try and get a better look at why I was crying.

     "You don't realize how much your hurting, and how much I worry for you each and everyday. I try so hard to hold onto that small chance that you'll live through this tumor, but I just don't know anymore. Your getting weaker and weaker, sicker, and sicker. And you don't even realize it.."