I Need You

Part 18

Sighing heavily, Stevie gave up on sleep the following morning, sitting up and then swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. Checking the time, she saw it was barely 9 am, she never woke up that early, unless needed, but Lindsey wouldn't leave her thoughts. Yes, he did say he was going to come back to her, but somehow she didn't believe this was going to be that easy. She understood where he was coming from though, she couldn't deny that she spent most of her time with Michael and the girls and that was definitely ought to make Lindsey paranoid. She honestly thought she was just helping out, besides that kiss, she had no intention whatsoever to start anything up with her ex-husband. She had to somehow made that clear to Lindsey from the start. This really was her fault.

Willing herself to stop worrying, Stevie went to take a shower, just standing under hot water mostly, while it poured over her, still concentrated on Lindsey. He did ask her for some time, but she couldn't give him that after all. She wanted and needed to see him. 

Stepping out of the shower, she tightened the sash of her robe, after she put it on and wrapped her hair in a towel, moving to stand in front of the mirror, as she reached for her face cream. Walking out of the bathroom, she went to the closet, picking out her usual attire.

Leaving the bedroom, Stevie headed for the stairs, only having climbed down a few, when the front door opened and in came Lindsey himself. Their eyes instantly locked and they stood like that, frozen, for a minute, before Stevie spoke up.

"I was going to see you."

"How did you know where I would be?"

"I guessed the condo." She shrugged her shoulders, taking the remaining steps down, a distance too big between them. "Say something."

"What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know... Just, I don't like your silence." From personal experience, Stevie knew it was usually for the better when Lindsey would just explode, unleashing everything he kept bottled up inside. "Are you mad at me?"

"I wish I could be. To be honest, out of all things, I'm terrified."

"Of what?" She didn't expect that answer, walking up to him, but not daring to touch him.

"I spent one day away from you. One day. And I'm climbing up the walls. I literally can't live without you anymore. It's..." Shrugging, he shook his head slightly. "I don't know exactly what it is that you do to me, but I have to be with you. Always."

"Linds... I want to be with you, too, you know that." Stevie said, touched by his words, as she took his hands in hers. "I love you, that hasn't changed. I'm sorry I didn't realize what I was doing. I know I was wrong. I know I must draw the line."

"Why were you going over there all the time?"

"Because I care about Michael, I told you."

"You two divorced. You don't see me caring about Kristen every day, do you?"

"Lindsey, I simply wanted to be there for him. It's not like our divorce was ugly. He's still my friend."

"Who still loves you."

"He-"

"Yes, he does, Stevie. I... I went to ask him a few questions last night. He also told me he kissed you."

"Well, he... he did." Instantly nervous, Stevie nodded, admitting it, although she was quick to start defending herself. "But it was nothing, I swear! It was just a small kiss in-"

"Stevie, stop. I know. He explained it to me, I don't want to talk about it again. I believe nothing more than that happened. And it's not the point at all anyway."  

"What is your point then?"

"It's that I've come to the point of insanity I guess." Laughing lightly Lindsey said. "I love you so much and I know being without you is not something I want. This whole thing with Michael made me see how it would be if I let you drift away from me, from us. You asked me if I'm mad and I'm not, it's not about being angry either. I just needed time to think it all over. And I'm repeating myself, but I've come to the only conclusion, Stevie, and it's that I want you and only you."

"The feelings is mutual." Stevie smiled, sensing Lindsey was loosening up and letting his guard down, as he cupped her cheek with his palm and leaned in, giving her a loving kiss.

But then he drew back and asked her the one thing he was planning on the whole time he was driving to see her. 

"Marry me, Stephanie."

"Excuse me?"

"My divorce from Kristen is finalized, I was going to tell you last night. Now I want nothing more than to make you my wife."

Her expression suddenly changed as she let go of his hands, backing off. "This is so quick."

"Oh my God, are you for real right now?"

"Yes, Lindsey! We both just came out of long time marriages, our relationship isn't actually solid either and you're asking me to marry you?"

"I sort of got the feeling that was where we both were headed towards!"

"And we are, but not... not yet." She shook her head. "I'm... I'm not really sure if I want to get married again to begin with."

Lindsey stared at her, dumbfounded. "I can't believe this. Am I wasting my time here? All you want is for someone to keep your bed warm at night, is that it?"

"No, Lindsey, of course not! I'm just saying I'm not ready to be engaged to you."

"Or ever, like you told me a minute ago."

"Maybe not ever, that's true. I love you, isn't that enough? Why do you want to tie me down? I'm not going to run away from you, Linds. You don't have to be afraid of that."

"Tie you down? Vowing to love you through everything until my last breath, is tying you down?!"

"That's not what meant, you're taking this all the wrong way, Lindsey! Why can't you understand that now it's me, who needs some more time?"

"Because if you loved me like you say you do, you would have been happy, when I asked you. How can I trust you that you're really in this relationship? That you won't just wake up one morning and decide you've had enough?"

"That is crazy talk. You know that won't happen. A piece of paper and a ring on my finger won't change the way I feel about you. Don't pressure me, please. You've done this before years and years ago and we know where it led to."

"So, why don't we just brake up? Clearly, we both want different things."

"Lindsey, just stop! I'm not saying any of those things!"

"You're seriously frustrating right now." 

Wanting to, but deciding against it, Stevie didn't reply, simply staring at Lindsey. "You're obviously hearing whatever you want to hear from me right now. But I hope you hear this, too. I love you, Lindsey. I never stopped loving you. All I'm asking is not to jump into anything, to take a little time. I hope you can understand why I'm asking you this and that you love me enough to wait for me."

Glancing at her once more, Lindsey simply turned around and headed for the door.