The Year We Completely Lost It {MCR,Frerard,Petekey} *SLOW UPDATES* *HIATUS*

Chapter 19: Helena

Gerard wasn't going to come out of his room today no matter how much his parents or Mikey begged him to. What was wrong with spending an entire day isolated in his room? They were just worried he was going to lock himself away like he did last year but he wasn't going to this time. Gerard just wanted this day to pass and then he'd be back to his normal, weird self the next day.

He knew Mikey and everyone worried about him because of last year, when Gerard's grandmother died and he went into complete isolation. They kept telling him all week that he needed to come with them to his grandma Elena's grave and that it would help him get over it, but Gerard preferred his way of coping. Cooped up in his room with blankets and drawing, while waiting for the day to be over, was his preferred method.

Gerard almost considered getting it over with and going with his family until the night before when his aunt Marie had called about what they were going to do the next day and all the memories started to flood back in and he had excused himself. The phone call just brought back the memory of the night Elena died and it was the final straw for Gerard.

He had locked the door of his room and ignored his family for the rest of the night. Gerard just felt numb and had ended up lying down in his bed, staring at his ceiling for hours until he couldn't stay awake anymore and drifted off to sleep.

His sleep wasn't the best either. His dreams were nightmares filled with the beeping sounds of a heart monitor. Gerard had found himself in a corridor of a familiar hospital wing and his instinct was to find his grandma, but every door he checked was empty and no matter how much he ran, the corridor just kept getting longer.

He didn't remember how the dream ended, but he woke up in a mess of his own tears. Gerard wiped his eyes and stared at his clock. It was just past ten in the morning and Gerard knew his family was going to leave soon. He quickly slipped out of room and did what he had to do, like a quick trip to the washroom and grabbing 'provisions' before going back.

Gerard changed out of the clothes he wore yesterday and settled himself on his unmade bed once again. He grabbed a sketchbook and starting drawing, not really paying attention to what he was doing. There wasn't much light in his room besides the sun creeping in from the sides of his closed blinds, but he didn't have to effort to open them.

Barely ten minutes after he'd been back into his room, someone quietly knocked on the door. Gerard recognized the timid knock as Mikey's, but he still didn't answer. Maybe he could pass it off as though he were sleeping.

Mikey apparently couldn't take a hint, as he continued to shyly knock. By the fifth knock, Gerard was ready to grab his earphones to further isolate himself when he heard his brother's voice through the door.

"Gerard," Mikey said softly yet loud enough to be heard through the door, "I know you're up, I saw you in the hall and I can hear you sketching."

"I'm fine Mikey," Gerard said, his voice sounding a bit raspy from not talking,"Anyway, aren't you all leaving soon?"

"You need to come out. Gerard, it's not good for you," Mikey said for the millionth time that week. Gerard was fine,"You can't stay in there all day."

"Oh yeah?" Gerard let out an annoyed laugh,"I have everything I need in here."

"What about food,huh?" Gerard grabbed a bag of pretzels off his bed and loudly shook them to make a point,"Okay fine, you win that argument, but seriously Gerard you need to do this. It's not healthy avoiding it."

"You sound like the school psychologist they made me see last year," Gerard was surprised Mikey hadn't lost his calm yet,"Look,I'll be fine alone."

"Gerard..." Mikey sighed,"Okay but mom's leaving you her car if you want to join us or something. See you at band practice tomorrow I guess."

He detected the worry of his brother's voice as Gerard heard him leave downstairs. Within a few minutes, he heard the front door close and the car pull out of the drive way. He knew he should have gone with them, but he was also perfectly content being alone.