Crossroads

I Think, Therefore I Am

Song : Angus & Julia Stone - A Heartbreak

It was just another day. I woke up, alone, in my empty apartment as I always have in the last four years. The sun was just starting to rise and a small chill from last night's storm, still lingered in the air. If I wanted to run in the woods without anyone noticing me, I would have to get up right about now.

No time to linger then. I jumped out of bed, changed into some workout clothes and started to climb down the stairs as quiet as possible to not wake anyone else in the house. This was an old-styled Victorian house that was transformed into smaller and comfortable living spaces. I had the top floor, the attic was a more accurate word and while it was the smallest one, the view of the nearby forest made for its lacking in space. Plus it had great big windows with enough light for me to paint, which I haven't done in a while. I spent more time in the basement these days, developing my photographs for my project which was due in three weeks, It was nice of the other tenants to let me use half of the space since I was only entitled of a fourth of it but we have known each other for the last three years and there were only four of us currently living here. David and Judy, engaged, both medics and working long hours and Helen, a veterinarian.

I was at the forest, walking as fast as I could, checking for noises to notify me of the other living things that were present here with me. I could only hear birds and squirrels. Still, I went deeper. Once I was satisfied that I was alone, with only other animals like me around, I stripped and let the change take over me. Approximately three minutes later, a wolf took my place and started running through the trees. It wasn't supposed to take that long but I have been out of practice since I've left home. I couldn't take too many chances, living so near the city with so many humans going around unaware of a whole other species living side by side with them. Plus the nearby pack was hospitable to an extent. They agreed to let any werewolf who wanted to go to the college that was in their territory but they weren't so keen in letting you run in their territory. I couldn't fault them, I would feel the same if I was back home. We are, after all beasts, programmed by our nature to protect and care for our pack, our leaders and especially our mate.

A mate... now that was a word that made my wolf's heart, ache in a unique way and a sense of longing immediately overwhelmed me. I couldn't quite comprehend my feelings because I haven't met mine yet and maybe I never would but it was there, inside me, waiting to be felt, understood and acknowledged by another like me. It was simply in our nature and I always had a patient and calm demeanor so I waited. And the years started to pass me by. I was in no way old, barely into my twenties but the ones around me, in my family or my pack, had managed to find the other part of their souls quite effortlessly, either by fate or choice. It was true, you could choose to spend your life with a mate of your choice if the one who was intended for you didn't make an appearance and it would be as good as the real thing because we did have potential mates, based on smell, physique and acceptance by our wolfs. Because it was a choice that both the wolf and the human part had to agree. Power always attracted the females of our kind, a strong and fierce protector would always be appreciated and considered as a possible match. I was no different, a slave to my existence and instincts but I had decided that I would have least waited for a while, in the off chance that I was one of the lucky ones and that I would have found my true mate so I went to college to study Art History and English Literature. Both very unpractical choices for a wolf but I didn't care. This was my chance to learn more about something that I loved before I had to make a choice and follow the path that all of us had to take. I wasn't opposed to the idea, how could I, I was a she-wolf but I would take all the time I could get. Alas, time was running out and so was my luck, both figuratively and literally, because as I was lost in my thoughts and wolf form, I failed to notice my surroundings and the smell of others like me hit me and I froze in my spot. I smelled the wind and thankfully I recognized the smell, pack wolfs, probably the morning patrol. Now I could run back home and fake ignorance when they contacted me about an-authorized entrance because I was pretty sure they couldn't catch me. I wasn't a strong fighter but I could run. What changed my mind was a strong presence among them that verified the fact that a wolf of higher standing was among them. Also they had already spotted me so I opted on standing respectfully on my front paws and waited as they made their presence known. Dealing with the resident pack was not such a great way to start my day.