*A sandy brown tom waltzes on stage, his eyes burning with rage for his rant.*
Thrushpelt: Hello everyone that I hate, and welcome back to my rants! Today we have a guest star!
*He gestures dramatically toward the side stage, where no cat appears.*
Thrushpelt: As you can see, there's no one there! I have no friends :D
*The crowd cheers at this. Somehow there is still a crowd, though most credit the negative price of tickets.*
Thrushpelt: So, let's begin with today's rant!
*A blurry image shows up on the wall behind Thrushpelt. His silhouette appears for a brief second before he walks away from the projector's light.*
Thrushpelt: This cat is a cat that is admired by all!
*The image shows a dark brown tabby tom with a broken jaw: Crookedstar.*
Thrushpelt: He has gone through many challenges, yet ya' know who ends up with the higher amount of surviving kits?
*The slide changes to show a lighter brown tom.*
Thrushpelt: His *******, *******, annoying-*** **** of a brother!
*Bluestar stands up from the audience, covering Mosskit's ears with her tail.*
Thrushpelt: He fathered a half-Clan litter! What breaks the warrior code more than that?
*As per usual, Bluestar starts marching toward the stage to teach him a lesson.*
Thrushpelt: And he died in the most idiotic way! Killed by the ThunderClan deputy, and witnessed by a tiny black apprentice!
*Tigerstar cheers loudly from the crowd, though he's silenced by a collective glare from the entire warriors fandom.*
Thrushpelt: Not to mention how stupid his mother was! Everyone, let's boo Rainflower!
*The booing begins. It takes a century to calm the rage that stirs in the warriors fandom.*
Thrushpelt: *clears his throat* We're back. . . sorry about that. Anyways, where were we? Ah yes, Oakheart the idiot!
*Bluestar starts marching toward the stage again, eyes burning like lasers.*
Thrushpelt: He has no skill whatsoever, but he is appointed deputy!
*Thrushpelt needs better security. Bluestar pushes past the guards and nears the stage.*
Thrushpelt: And can we go back to Rainflower? She's so ******* stupid!
*The crowd nods in agreement; security guards hold up their claws to silence the growing rage. Bluestar climbs onstage, facing the sandy brown tom.*
Thrushpelt: Hi Bluestar!
Bluestar: LEAVE ME ALONE!
*Thrushpelt blinks innocently.*
Bluestar: I NEVER DID ANYTHING TO YOU!
Thrushpelt: That's the point, *****.
YOU ARE READING
Thrushpelt's Rants
FanfictionBeing a background character is a pretty big issue, so let's listen to the inner thoughts of Thrushpelt!
