*Thrushpelt walks on stage to an empty crowd, and his face drops. He sits down in the center of the stage, ready to begin his performance.*
Thrushpelt: Hello everyone, and welcome back to Thrushpelt's Rants! As you can see, we have no one in the crowd D:
*Thrushpelt tosses some money on the floor. A few kits run in, chasing the bills, but before they can escape with the Franklins in-mouth, the doors shut.*
Thrushpelt: Welcome to Thrushpelt's Rants, young cats!
Eaglekit: What's a rant?
Driftkit: What's a cat?
Thrushpelt: Great audience response, as I expected! *throws a few more bills on the ground* Anyways, today's rant is about the horrible disease, greencough!
Eaglekit: *leans to Driftkit* What's that?
Driftkit: *whispers back* I dunno. . .
Larkkit: *bursts through the wall* DID I HEAR THE SOUND OF MONEY FALLING?
Thrushpelt: How did you. . . why did you. . . I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO ANY OF YOU ARE!
*The kit simultaneously burst into tears. Thrushpelt doesn't know what to do and motions wildly at the side-stage. Redfur jogs out and waves to the kits.*
Thrushpelt: So, greencough is probably one of the highest-rate killers in all of the Warriors series! The only good thing that comes out of it is NOTHING!
*Redfur escorts the kits to the audience, where he hands them complimentary lollipops.*
Thrushpelt: And nobody likes it! No purpose there, am I right?
*Excited, the kits unwrap the lollipops only to find nothing inside the wrappers. Redfur watches with a smug expression as they burst into tears.*
Thrushpelt: Now, I will give my final point that will blow ALL of you out of your seats.
*Thrushpelt motions to side-stage; Redfur darts out and runs under the stage.*
Thrushpelt: MY FINAL POINT IS!
*Thrushpelt gestures dramatically downward, and a loud creaking noise emits from under the stage.*
Redfur: Oops. . .
Thrushpelt: WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!?!?
Redfur: I may have broken the fan. . .
Thrushpelt: YOU IDIOT! I STOLE THAT FROM FIRESTAR'S HOUSE AND LEFT A TICKET IN ITS PLACE!!!
Redfur: Rather specific there, buddy?
*The kits' mothers come in and take them away, glancing fearfully at Thrushpelt, who appears to be talking to himself.*
Thrushpelt: WELL, I NEED TO RETURN THAT!
*Suddenly, the fan turns on, and Redfur flies out from under the stage, catapulting through the air and smacking against the wall.*
A/N: This was bootful :3 We hope you enjoyed
YOU ARE READING
Thrushpelt's Rants
FanfictionBeing a background character is a pretty big issue, so let's listen to the inner thoughts of Thrushpelt!
