Thrushpelt's Rants

#3: Moonflower

*scuffling is heard as Thrushpelt is pushed onto stage mid-lick of his paw.*

Thrushpelt: I wAS TAKING A ******* BREAK YOU BLOODY *******!!!!

*Thrushpelt sees the crowd.*

Thrushpelt: And yet another cat I hate with my whole heart! Redtail, everyone, the worst producer ever! :D

*Redtail sticks his head around the side of the stage as loud clapping can be heard from the crowd. He scowls at Thrushpelt and motions for him to continue.*

Thrushpelt: Ugh, producers. But another cat I hate, other than Redtail, the bumbling, incompetent idiot—

*Yowls of 'IMMA KILL YOU' and 'He's not worth it, bro!' can be heard back stage*

Thrushpelt: >:D

Thrushpelt: —Moonflower! She raised Bluestar to be the moron she is today! Luckily she's not as bad as Rainflower

*The crowd starts booing at the mentioned of 'She Who Shall Not Be Named'*

Thrushpelt: She was killed in probably the stupidest possible way! By a fricken' medicine cat! How hard is it to fight that?

*Hawkheart boos from the crowd; Bluestar storms up to the stage. The security guards step back to allow her to stomp up*

Bluestar: If we're going to rant about my parents, then let's hate on ******* Stormtail! I almost forgot his name because he NEVER PAID ANY ATTENTION TO ME!

*Thrushpelt pauses to consider this.*

Thrushpelt: That is true. . . but let me present my points.

*Bluestar sits down with a cross expression.*

Thrushpelt: She was the only cat with the name 'Moon', which according to the actual Erins, was never supposed to be used in the first place!

Thrushpelt: Moonflower's littermate is Goosefeather, who we all know is ******* crazy!

Thrushpelt: And finally, she gave you the lamest gift of all: love! That's one of the most common gifts, and combining it with mother's love makes it the MOST COMMON GIFT! Lame, much?

*Awkwardness settles over the stage.*

Bluestar: None of these really relate to Moonflower's so called lameness.

Thrushpelt: WELL LET ME RUN MY SHOW WITHOUT YOU RAINING ON MY PARADE!

*Bluestar swipes him across the forehead before stomping away.*

*Thrushpelt sticks his tongue out at her because he's so skilled, and continues.*

Thrushpelt: Well actually I should just turn this into a rant on parents.

*The crowd cheers as Warriors parents seem to have a habit of sucking at parenting.*

*This can go on forever, so Redtail cuts off the show*

A/N: We hope you enjoyed; and sorry for the wait between updates :)