Brother

Last

"At first I had an even keel
But now I'm not sure what is real.
It's taken me this long to learn
That every dead is ate by worms
And once they're gone they don't return"

(Sink by Brand New)

         So the day was... okay.

We went to the beach, played around. Then I decided to go home. Ivory and Jack are alone now, and all I can think about is if he's going to get hurt.

I don't want him to.

It will probably happen though. The inevitable sucks. What happens happens, I guess. All I can think about is her. She is the inevitable.

So very hateful too. I thought that maybe she should act like she didn't know me after crying. But no, every sentence and word that came out of her mouth was filled with hate.

I don't know what I did. Jack was wrong. She hates me and I don't know her.

I'm back at the house. Supper is getting fixed now, and tomorrow is the day I leave with my brother to go fight a war we will never win. We aren't healthy. One meal a day will do that to you.

But I'm ready. I'm ready to fight a war that'll never win. I'm ready to die in another's hand. I should have let myself die the first time. Yet I didn't. I used to think so much of life. Now I understand that I was meant to die in the war. For my name to be written on the wall outside. I will forever be remember by the ones who loved me.

I'm ready to die.

"Jacob! Can you set up the dishes? Remember to add two extra ones. For you and Ivory." My mother calls.

I obey and go to the cabinet that holds the dishes. I grab five, for Jacobson, Jack, Ivory, and my mother- whose name is Marylen- and I. The dishes were once white, I can tell. But now they have faded to a cream color. There are lines throughout the plates, and it looks like they could fall apart any minute now.

I walk to the table, and it is at this moment I notice that the town isn't as quiet as it used to be. Maybe they are partying up to spend the last night with the people off to war.

Maybe it's always been this loud. I can't recall.

There are six chairs to the table. One on the each end, two on the sides. The table and chairs are old too. Everything is old. From a world that was once filled with new things. 

I place the cracked plates at each chair. "Silverware?" I ask mom. I look up at her, and she's put on her best. She looks sad.

"What?" I'm merely confused now. She's sad that I didn't set up the silverware.

"Oh, nothing. Last time you were here, I thought it was the last time I'd see you. Yet you're back. And I can't help to feel the same about Jack. He's so tiny and small... Just like you were. And they keep pulling you guys in. Jacob, can I ask you of a favor?" Her eyes are glossy. And I guess I was wrong about the silverware.

"Yes?" I stand up straight, listening and waiting for her to continue.

"Keep your brother alive, will you? Please? I know you can. Don't tell him I asked this of you either. I love him as much as I do you. Both of you should stay alive. I believe in you. Please. Jacob." Tears are now falling down her face, but she quickly dabs them away.

"Yes, okay, mother. I will do as told." I nod my head. But I'm not crying like her. I feel disconnected. She doesn't believe in him. She didn't believe in me. Yet I nod my head again. "Yes, I will keep him alive. I have to." I say again.