Brother

Gone

Still in Jacobson's POV. This chapter is short. But you have to be easy on me, I about spilled my heart out on the last chapter. Oddly enough, I think this is my favorite chapter so far. What's yours?

The bombs stopped. I guess The Civils thought they finished us off for good, or that they ran out of bombs. In no way are they showing mercy.
They just murdered a town. A city. Families.
My family.
Jack lies infront of me. Lifeless. I know that I should go. Alarms are going off in the back of my head. I'm losing blood by the second, and I could fall dead any moment.
Yet I don't want to leave Jack. Not by himself. I know... I know that he isn't truly there anymore. Something inside of me pulls me to him, a magnet.
I can't seem to understand it all. It's never bothered me until now.
I've killed people. I've seen how their eyes dull once they die, and how they fall limp.
The first person I killed, to me, had no name. He had no family. He was nothing to me but a mission. And when I watched him die in front of me from the gun that I held, never once did it bother me. He was just another mission complete. That was all he was to me.
Just not... Not Jack. Where is he, if he isn't here? Was mom right about God?
I shake my head at my own thoughts.
Jack is gone. He isn't anywhere, not anymore.
I wipe the tears from my eyes. There isn't a way in hell I could pick up Jack. He's dead weight, and I'm getting there myself.
I have to say goodbye. I don't want to, I have no choice.
I bite my lip from keeping myself from breaking and put my forehead on his.
He's cold. Freezing, it seems. I stare at his blood covered eyelids and at his lashes. He still looks like a little boy. My little brother, lying in ashes, heart not pumping.
My eyes blur up again, and I kiss him on his head.
"Goodbye, baby brother," I whisper, my voice cracking, the emotions spilling out.
"I love you." I ruffle his hair, like he was still breathing. He would tell me to stop while laughing.
I try my hardest to smile but it hurts.
I stand up, letting go of him.
I'm dizzy and my vision goes black. It slowly fades in, creating a much greater headache than before.
I feel like I could pass out any minute now. I breathe heavily, forcing air in and out of my lungs.
It hurts, all of it. Staying alive. It hurts so fucking much. My everything is gone, and I'm hanging on by a string.
I start waking. Stumbling, actually. I can't walk. I'm dying.
Jack's words repeat in my head, like a broken record.
"I'm already gone, Jacob. Can't you tell?"
He knew. He knew from the moment he landed eyes on me. I didn't know. I thought he was okay. I sound so fucking stupid. So naive. I'm such a child.
It should have been me, laying on the ground, dying.
He should've been the child. He was a child.
My hate for The Civils grows inside me. I can feel it eating me. Yet it's not just The Civils; it's the Regrime too. They did this.
I did this.
I followed their orders. I murdered people. I killed Tundra's father. I kidnaped her and her mother. I traded them for food. I aided the death of my family.
I'm a monster.
I haven't realized where I've been going, but I've found people. They're in the distance. I can't really tell how many of them there are. From behind them, I see the sun.
The sun is just coming up from the blue. It's ray's barley touch the ground. Gracefully lighting the sky in pinks and blues.
This devastates me. My mother, father, or Jack isn't here to see. They didn't view the sun rise today, like they always did.
The sun gleams at me. I know the world goes on, yet I wish it would all stop.
My eyes gaze back to the people. I'll tell them about Jack, and they can go and get him. To make sure he's not alone.
I start to run, my foot twist and I collapse.
The air is knocked out of me.
"Help!" I scream, then I realize I sound like Jack; Inhuman. The only human thing coming from me is the word help. My voice sounds ragged and ruined. Scratched and suffocated.
They start to run to me. I glance at their faces, their boots, their uniforms.
My heart drops.
It's The Civils.
I scream, kick and punch once they're near me. I don't do much of anything to them; I'm too weak.
"You took Jacky away from me!" I cry, thrashing my body from them.
Deep down inside, I know they didn't take him away.
I did. I'm the monster.