Brother

Goodbyes

"Sometimes all I really want to feel is love
Sometimes I'm angry that I feel so angry
Sometimes my feelings get in the way
Of what I really feel I needed to say"

(Edit The Sad Parts by Modest Mouse)

This song can go with this chapter, but it depends on how you look into it. I think that all the songs I post can relate, but possibly not from your eyes. Everyone has different views of music. Plus I'm in love with this song and had to add it, haha :)
Oh yeah, the video is scary. But it's a very good lyric video.

We are leaving in the morning. Around seven or six, they had said. It's five now. The sun still hasn't swam back up from the whirling blue. I'm staring out the small window in the kitchen. The line of the ocean isn't visible in the dark, but I still find myself looking for it. To see it once more before I die.

Everyone is awake. Jack is bathing, mom is packing his things. Dad said goodbye earlier this morning to us. He went to work. His work is farming. For us and a few of our neighbors. If you aren't in the army, then you will be assigned for a certain job. My mother helps makes medicine.

I'm not for sure what Ivory does.

Jack had said that Ivory would be coming over for a last goodbye. He still seems upset. Depressed even, but I don't know how to reach out to him.

This isn't the first time I've left home like this. It's the second, but for some reason I feel like I've done it so much that it doesn't hurt anymore. Anymore. Last time I left, I cried. I was afraid. There was no way I could survive. A 16 year old skinny church boy couldn't kill anyone. I did. And it turned me into what I am now.

A monster. Evil and rotten.

A knock on the door echos through the house.

I close the window and walk to the door. I open it, and with no surprise I see that it is Ivory.

"Hello Ivory." I greet her.

"Hello Jacobson."

"How is Jack?"

"I broke it off with him, but we're still friends."

I nod my head and back out the way to let her in. Her shoes click on the wood. I close the door.

"I'm sorry for being rude yesterday. I was angry with myself and blamed it on you."

"It's okay."

"Where is Jack?" Her eyebrows raise.

"Bathing."

"Oh, okay."

"Where do you work?" I ask. Being curious, I had to.

"With the Regrime." She says. She looks around the house, to the painting of landscapes and dirt filled floor.

"Oh? Really?" I didn't know females could work with them.

"Yeah. Nothing serious. I help fetch water and food for the prime minister." She shrugs.

"Fancy," I nod my head.

"Yeah not so much," Her eyes gaze to me. "I'll miss you. Even though I really don't know you. I hope you and Jack will be okay on the field. Hold your head high for me, its rough."

"Shall do."

"Soldiers always do what they are told, don't they?" She grins and sits down on the couch. A puff of dust flies above her.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever." I roll my eyes playfully.

I sit down on the sofa beside her.

"I've heard some nasty secrets about the Regrime. A lot of people hold them above their heads but they aren't all that good." She whispers, studying her hands.

"Nothing is like it seems. What did you hear?" I don't whisper, but I try to quiet my voice down.

"They have a new plan. But it seems that the others do too. I can't tell you what it is or anything. I'm not even supposed to know. Anyways, I'll bet you'll find out when you get back."

"Oh." There is a pause to our conversation, it has died down. She says nothing but continues to gaze at her hands.

"I'm going to be upgraded to a head general of my team." I say. I feel like a child saying this, but there wasn't anything else to say. Casual conversation. I feel like a child who tells his mother he had got a good grade. My face reddens.

"So, then is Jack going to be on your team?" She turns to look at me.

"I don't know actually. They never said if we could choose. But I don't think so." I was only promoted because half of our old team had died, and so I was the next in line. I still don't understand death yet. It was a hand made bomb that came in, I was far enough that I didn't lose a limb but I was bleeding almost everywhere from glass. I don't know what kept me going, I didn't help the others. They had told us from the start it is every man for themselves. After they died, I didn't cry. I didn't even know their names.

Jack appears from the back door, fully dressed in the military outfit. All black. There are bags and dark circles underneath his grey eyes. He gives a tight smile to Ivory.

"Hey Ivy." His voice is bland, no emotion.

"Hey Jack, just came to say goodbye." She stands up from the couch and goes to give a hug to him.

While she hugs him, his eyes are closed. He grips at her hair, and lays his head on her. He breathes her in, like he thinks this is the last time they'll ever be together.

She steps away from the hug, and her face is flushed. Mom comes in as soon as they step away. She holds a suitcase, packed with whatever. All my things are back at camp. If I'm lucky enough, when I get back it might still be there. Which I doubt. People are greedy, but it's not like anything in was important to survival.

It's not like I'm going to survive anyways.

"Jacky boy, I got your stuff ready." He turns around to face mom, takes his stuff and gives her a hug. She closes her eyes too, taking him in. This time I know that she thinks that this is her last time with Jack. He pulls away, and so does she. There are tears in her eyes. She reaches up and ruffles his hair, saying, "I'll miss you Jack."

I stand up from the sofa and wipe down my clothes. Trying to smooth them out.

"Alright, Jack. Are you ready to go?"

My mother holds her heart while Jack walks over to me. "Yeah," He says.

He looks behind him, an old and worn suitcase in one hand, nothing in the other.

"Goodbye mom, I love you." He says, again with no emotion. "Goodbye to you too, Jacky." She replies.

He looks over to Ivory, deadpanned. "Goodbye Ivory." And he walks out the door, not waiting for her to say bye back.

"Bye," She whispers even though he is long gone. I nod my head and salute them, following Jack.

BYE BYE IVY. :D please don't forget to vote and comment!
Hayley~