It's Not Ogre Yet

Chapter 1

It's been a few weeks since Shrek left me for Fiona. I miss his Scottish accent, and his ogre roar.

Shrek and Fiona are getting married, and I'm not invited to the wedding, as I am Shrek's ex and Fiona's sworn enemy, but I am going to go anyways. Make Shrek miss what he lost on the depressing day.

I've since then dated other men. Ogres and  humans, but none of them were Shrek. None of them compare to the ogre I once loved.

"Kylie! Someone's at the door for you!" My friend Ashley calls.

I walk to the living room, and Shrek is there!

"S-Shrek! W-what are you doing here?" I stutter like an idiot.

"I uh, I need advise Kylie." He says. "Dating advise." I hold in a scoff. He was asking ME, his ex for dating advise. What an idiot.

"Name your price." I say. His mud coloured eyes widen a bit.

"Name my price?" He asks in his sexy ogre voice. I roll my eyes.

"If I give you dating advise," I say calmly. "I want something in return." I vision popped into my head of Shrek being fooled into marrying me.

"What do you want in exchange for dating advise?" Shrek asks me.

"It's a surprise!" I smile sweetly, but only god knows what I was actually thinking of. Shrek stands up to leave, but I stop him.

"Where are you going?" I ask. Flashbacks of him walking out on me flood my mind. Tears form in my eyes and Shrek drops his grip on the door and sighs loudly.

"Kylie?" He asks.

"Yes?" I say looking up at him.

"I need to know what Fiona will like for the wedding. You're a girl, so i though you would know."

"I do know." I reply.

"Then help me Kylie, please. I'm begging you." Shrek looks desperate. His eyes search my face for a second then drop. "I don't want to mess this up." Shrek straightens himself out and walks out the door.

Wow, I managed to make things worse for us. I sigh and lay on the couch. Maybe we weren't meant to be. Maybe I was meant for a different ogre. Or maybe a different man.

Images of Shrek and Fiona cloud my mind. I try not to cry as I think of another woman kissing him, and telling him she loves him. I think about the future, when they have kids. I didn't notice I was crying until Ashley came and gave me a hug.

"He's not worth it, Ky." She says in a soothing voice.

"I know, Ash. But I love him so much, I feel like I would die without him." I sniffle a little bit.

"Then let's go out and find you a new man!" Ashley said excitedly.

A smile comes across my face as I wipe my tears away. This is why I love Ashley, she always knows how to cheer me up.

~•~•~

The bar we went to wasn't too crowded but it had a good amount of people in it. I noticed a few good looking guys, but none of them compared to Shrek.

I took a sip of my drink and leaned back on the bar stool. The ripped pleather scratched at the exposed skin in my thighs.

"You come here often?" A voice says. I turn my head and see it belongs to a short man with sleek black hair.

I try not to groan at the lame one liner and reply, "No, actually. Do you?" I smile a fake smile but he seems to think it's genuine.

"Nope, i'm trying to get over a nasty break up to be honest with you." His black hair falls in front of his eyes, but he pushes it back in a sexy way.

"Really?" I ask. He nods a little sadly. "Me too!" He looks up and smiles a bit.

"I'm Farquaad. Lord, Farquaad." He says offering me a hand to shake. I take his hand.

"Kylie." I reply.

"So, what made you come to this bar, Lord Farquaad?" I ask.

"I wanted to see what my kingdoms people deal with when they go through a breakup. I usually stay in my castle."

My breath hitches. "You're the king?" I ask astonished.

Lord Farquaad nods his head and sighs. "Gets a bit tiring, you know. So many suitors, but none of them are faithful." He sniffles a bit and my heart aches for him.

"I know what you mean." I respond. "My boyfriend of four years left me about a week ago." I say trying not to cry. "Now he's getting married to another woman!" My hand clenches around my glass.

"You wanna get out of here?" Lord Farquaad asks me.

I smile a true smile for the first time in a long time and say, "yes!"

We leave the bar and hop into his chariot, which is very fancy if I do say so myself. His castle isn't that far away, but we had enough time to chat.

We almost reached the castle and Lord Farquaad kissed me. It was a good kiss. I kissed him back, but when things were about to get intimate, we arrived at the castle.

I gasped when Lord Farquaad led me into his beautiful castle. It was much nicer than my house.

He led me up the steps to his huge king like bedroom and asked me if I needed anything.

Without thinking, I responded with "you" and something about him changed. I regretted the word as soon as it left my mouth. I could feel my face reddening.

His eyes looked darker and he walked towards me. "Why don't we get to know each other a little more first."

I sit on his big red bed and listen to him talk about himself. I admire the way he can talk for ages without boring me.

He says it's my turn to tell him about me and I freeze up. "I don't know what to say."

"It's alright Kylie. Just think."

I do as Lord Farquaad says and tell him about my house and what I do for fun. I don't tell him about Shrek, but something about the way he stares at me, tells me he knows a lot more about me then what i've told him.

//A/N\\

why am i like this.